


Kamen Rider Decade: Journey Through The Abridged

by Psyga315



Category: Kamen Rider, Kamen Rider 555, Kamen Rider Agito, Kamen Rider Blade, Kamen Rider Decade, Kamen Rider Den-O, Kamen Rider Kabuto, Kamen Rider Kiva, Kamen Rider Kuuga, Kamen Rider Ryuki
Genre: Abridged Series, Alternate Universe - Attorneys, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Cut Short, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Salaryman, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universes, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Colored Text, Comedy, Crossover, Deviates From Canon, Fighting, Fourth Wall Humor, Gen, Humor, Lampshade Hanging, Meta Humor, Minor Character Death, Monsters, Multiverse, Screenplay/Script Format, Spoilers, Swearing, Violence, Worlds Blow Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyga315/pseuds/Psyga315
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wanted to see thirty-one episodes and two movies of Kamen Rider's answer to Gokaiger squeezed down into an abridged version, and has its plot and characters rearranged a bit? Well, look no further.</p><p>Join Tsukasa as he tries to save Natsumi's world by crossing into the nine Kamen Rider worlds, fulfilling many fan's fantasies and lining the staff of Toei with money along the way, all while creating plot threads that go nowhere and plot holes so big, they might as well be a black hole hiding near Europa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Didn't Start The Rider War

**Author's Note:**

> I decided, out of boredom, to write up a fanfic based on the Abridged Series. Decade is one of my favorite Kamen Rider shows, if not my most favorite. However, I know it has its flaws and I've decided to write this fanfic lampooning on them. I'm not sure if this is allowed, so I'm taking a pretty huge risk with this. Ironically, this is my tenth fanfic that I put on here... 
> 
> Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsumi's world is threatened, and only Tsukasa is able to stop the threat by becoming Decade. No, Natsumi isn't becoming Decade. That's barbaric.

**Natsumi:** Oh hey, I’m in a random rock quarry in a Tokusatsu. I wonder if there will be a massive fight.

{Massive fight ensues, all the riders are fighting a powerful enemy}

 **Natsumi:** Yep, figured. So, who’s the enemy? An evil space empire?

{Nope.}

 **Natsumi:** Shocker?

{Not yet.}

 **Natsumi:** …Ferbus?

{Oh GOD no!}

 **Natsumi:** So who is it?

{TEH UBER RIDER! WATCH AS HE KILLS EVERY RIDER WITH PINK LAZERS!}

 **Natsumi:** Oh hai Decade.

* * *

{Natsumi wakes up in a school bus}

 **Bus Driver:** Hey kid, you’re gonna be late for your first day of school!

 **Natsumi:** Wait this isn’t how Kamen Rider Decade starts!

 **Bus Driver:** Oh… Well shi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Natsumi wakes up for real}

 **Random Patron:** Hey! I have a messed up photo!

 **Natsumi:** Oh hey, my cue to become a tsundere to the hero. Excuse me while I go and have a moment where I stand perfectly still while the Mirror World noise plays and Ryuki spies on me.

{She does exactly that and a wild Ryuki appears}

**Kit: SURPRISE! I’M NOT RYUKI!**

**Natsumi:** Go away, Kit, no one likes you.

**Kit: Awww…**

* * *

{Meanwhile, by the river}

 **Tsukasa:** Doot-doo-doot, taking a picture.

 **Random Asshole Victim:** Hey! You ripped me off! Now I’m gonna beat you up!

{Tsukasa side steps the punches while looking at the ruined pictures that said asshole had.}

 **Tsukasa:** Huh, I failed… Well then, time to take more pictures!

{looks into the camera and sees Wataru}

 **Wataru:** Oooooooooooh, I’m being so cryyyyyyyyptic!

 **Tsukasa:** Lol wut?

{Then Natsumi establishes her character by giving Tsukasa the thumb of laughter. At least he got it easy, the riders after him had to tolerate getting smacked around with a slipper}

 **Natsumi:** Now let’s go and talk about your lack of a past!

* * *

{At the lake}

 **Natsumi:** Why do you take bad photos?

 **Tsukasa:** I told you this before, why do I have to say it again?

 **Natsumi:** Let me rephrase that: Explain to the audience why you take bad photos?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh. Okay then, well I’m taking photos to capture my world because I’m from another world and I have an acute case of amnesia.

 **Natsumi:** The kind where you forget just your past and nothing like actual motor skills, right?

 **Tsukasa:** Yep. This _is_ a Japanese TV show after all. Hey, you know what else we need? Monsters.

{Suddenly, dimensional walls summon monsters.}

 **Natsumi:** You just _had_ to say it.

{A dimensional wall splits the two up}

 **Tsukasa:** Well crap.

{Suddenly Wataru}

 **Wataru:** Hey, look at me, I’m being cryptic!

{shows Tsukasa worlds colliding then nearly crushes him with a building}

 **Tsukasa:** THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!?

 **Wataru:** Ooooooh, here I am talking about a mysterious power you have!

 **Tsukasa:** I have JRPG amnesia! I don’t know what the heck you’re saying!

 **Wataru:** Well, sucks to be you. I’m not saying squat.

{Then Tsukasa appears elsewhere}

 **Tsukasa:** What a dick.

* * *

{Meanwhile, Natsumi is getting attacked by monsters, then comes across a conveniently placed DecaDriver and RideBooker}

 **Natsumi:** Oh hey, it’s the very same belt that appeared in my dream. What an amazing convenience.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, Natsumi! I somehow found you! Oh nice, you have a twin!

{Said twin is a Changeling… I mean Worm}

 **Natsumi:** Oh crap, what do I do?

 **Tsukasa:** Hey! Hand me the buckle!

 **Natsumi:** Huh? Oh right! I can use the buckle!

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, you better be kidding me. The day you become a rider is the day I die. Everyone knows women can’t be the main rider, just look at Mari.

* * *

{Flashback to the first episode of Faiz}

 **Takumi:** WTF!? This ain’t my bag!

{Mari snatches the belt in the bag then dials the phone}

**555! STANDIN’ BY!**

**Mari:** HENSHIN!

{puts the phone into the belt}

**NOPE!**

{Belt ejects from her}

* * *

**Tsukasa:** Besides, even if you became a rider, it’ll be a death sentence. Tackle Syndrome, we people call it.

 **Natsumi:** But Megumi became IXA and she got to live.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, the Rider Reaper was a lazy ass and he got his fix by offing Mari… again.

 **Natsumi:** Alright…

{hands Tsukasa the buckle and booker, which somehow phase through the wall even though their hands couldn’t break them}

 **Tsukasa:** Awesome, now watch my epic henshin!

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{He transforms}

**Tsukasa: Now, it’s showtime!**

{breaks through the dimensional wall and beats up the Worms as Kabuto. Then he demorphs back into Decade because… plot}

**Tsukasa: Wasn’t that awesome, now hop on my cool bike, Natsumi.**

**Natsumi:** Oh hai Decade!

**Tsukasa: How do you know my name?**

**Natsumi:** How do _you_ know your name?

**Tsukasa: JRPG Amnesia. I don’t want to repeat that every time.**

**Natsumi:** Fine… Let’s go.

{They hop on a bike and ride off into the sunset…}

* * *

{Towards an Orphnoch filled world. They stop to look at the dead people}

**Tsukasa: Hey look, it’s that asshole victim who didn’t like my photo. Guess he got what was coming to him. **

{Then he awakens and transforms into an Orphnoch.}

**Tsukasa: Well crap. Hey, bike, do a neat trick that you’ll never do again!**

{The Machine Decader turns into Autovajin, and never transforms into another bike ever again… except for The Final Chapter, but that’s neither here nor now}

**Tsukasa: Cool! Now I get to kick ass again!**

**KAMEN RIDE: FAIZ!**

{Asskicking ensues, then Makamou attack, and he kicks ass again as Hibiki. Then asskicking stops because Tsukasa was forced out of his transformation because… plot.}

 **Tsukasa:** Huh, why the heck am I losing my powers?

 **Wataru:** CRYPTIC!

{Giant CGI Monsters begin to eat each other and cause a giant CGI explosion that even Kuuga would be jealous of. Wataru shows his badassness by stopping time and casually walking through the flames}

 **Wataru:** Well, that was fun. Who’s for exposition?

 **Tsukasa:** I am! And for the Overlord’s sake, don’t be cryptic about it.

 **Wataru:** Sorry, I’m contractually obligated to be as vague as possible to provide the epileptic trees their food.

{Wataru snaps his fingers and takes Tsukasa to his planetarium, but instead of the Solar System, all the planets are replicas of Earth}

 **Wataru:** Now, there are nine worlds, each with their own Kamen Rider and their own continuity. Though Kiva and Den-O kind of share a world thanks to Climax Deka… and background information and that DVD suggest that Kuuga, Agito, and Ryuki all share a world too… But the writers won’t care about consistent continuity until after this show. You know what they do care about? Crossovers! Lots and lots of crossovers! Think about it. Who doesn’t love a crossover? They’re like, the best thing since peanut butter and chocolate! Just say “Freddie Kruger takes on Jason Voorhees” and you got yourself instant gold, even if it’s a steaming pile of crap. They’ll pull this exact same thing off with Super Sentai but decided to give us a test drive first to see if it will make them the moolah they always wanted. And trust me, it _will_.

 **Tsukasa:** So… what must I do to save Natsumi’s world?

 **Wataru:** Cross over into the nine worlds. Oh, and you have a cool moniker too: The Destroyer of Worlds… HINT HINT.

 **Tsukasa:** What should I do once I get to the nine worlds?

 **Wataru:** Oh my… I JUST TOLD YOU…And you wonder why I have to be so cryptic about this!

{Tsukasa warps back to reality}

 **Wataru:** Insert a reference to the fact that I’m with the original riders here.

 **Natsumi:** So… What must we do?

 **Tsukasa:** Well… travel to the nine worlds and save them. I guess? He never really gave me specifics, like _how_ to travel to them…

 **Natsumi:** WHAT!? So how are we going to save my world?!

 **Eijiro:** Suddenly, my house is a TARDIS!

{Eijiro pulls a chain and a painting drops down, bringing them to Kuuga’s World}

 **Natsumi:** HOLY CRAP! How did you do that?! When can this building be able to cross worlds!? How do you know all this!?

 **Eijiro:** I won’t explaiiiiiiiin… Trololololol.

 **Tsukasa:** Welp, he’s senile. Time for me to explore.

{Goes outside and notices he’s a police officer}

 **Tsukasa:** SWEET!

 **Radio Dispatcher:** RANDOM KAIJIN ATTACK! I REPEAT! RANDOM KAIJIN ATTACK! WE HAVE TO FIRE AT THE KAIJIN!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait… Cops are fighting monsters? The cops were never effective since… Since… OH CRAP! This world is…

* * *

{Meanwhile, a cop is being attacked by a bird monster}

 **Yuusuke:** OH NO! My Ane-san is being attacked! **HENSHIN!**

{Transforms into Kamen Rider Kuuga and punches the birdman in the face}

* * *

**Tsukasa:** KUUGA’S WORLD!

{TO BE CONTINUED!}


	2. Newsuke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa arrives in Kuuga's World, where he discovers that a terrible curse befell the land.

{We resume our story with Kuuga beating up the Condor Grongi}

**Dorudo:** Woah man! I’m just the counter! Take it easy!

**Yuusuke:** **So why are you randomly attacking humans!?**

**Dorudo:** I… I don’t know! I guess I don’t like the Linto?

**Yuusuke:... Okay, that’s some weird racism there.**

 **Random Cop:** Ms. Yashiro, should we shoot at Unidentified Being #4?

 **Yashiro:** Oh yes, shoot at the guy clearly beating up the kaijin and asking why they’re killing humans. ARE YOU STUPID, YOU PIECE OF SHI-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Back at the Hikari Studio}

 **Eijiro:** Ah crap, the TV’s stuck on Power Rangers.

 **Natsumi:** I think the term you’re looking for is Super Sentai and-

{She looks at the TV, which shows a news report of Kuuga fighting the Grongi}

 **Natsumi:** Oh. Well…

{Tsukasa enters, still dressed as a police officer}

 **Tsukasa:** Stop right there, criminal scum! You violated my neck! It’s time to pay for your crimes!

{Thumb-jab-laughter ensues}

 **Natsumi:** Tsukasa, this is _not_ the time for games! A Kamen Rider is kicking Grongi ass!

 **Tsukasa:** How do you know about the Grongi?

 **Natsumi:** I read it in Exposition Daily. How do _you_ know… Wait, JRPG Amnesia, never mind. So what are we supposed to do here to save this world?

 **Tsukasa:** Who knows and who cares. I’m a policeman! And seeing as Kuuga’s the one of the few Kamen Rider shows that has the cops actually being competent, I might as well play my role and kick Grongi ass. Telling from the numbering of the Grongi, we’re early on in the show, so we don’t have to worry about Kuuga’s rider kicks nuking the entire city.

 **Natsumi:** Wait what?

 **Tsukasa:** WELP! I’m off to take pictures of Kuuga!

{Tsukasa stole my bike}

* * *

{Back to Kuuga kicking Grongi ass}

 **Yashiro:** Kuuga! Go into Dragon Form!

 **Yuusuke:** **Alright! CHOU HENSHIN!**

**FLAME! DRAGON! BURN… BURN… BURN BURN BUUUUUUUUURN!**

**Yashiro:** Uh… Wrong Dragon.

**… Well crap.**

{Tsukasa arrives}

 **Tsukasa:** I’m gonna exposit about Kuuga for the kids who haven’t been around in 2000 to watch this. See, he’s able to change forms and-

 **Yashiro:** What are you doing here!? I told the cops to retreat!

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, juuuuuuuust after one picture…

{Kuuga kills a Grongi}

 **Dorudo** : Welp, he’s dead. I’m out of here, bye bye!

 **Yashiro:** Use this!

{tosses Yuusuke a gun}

**Yuusuke: Okay, Ane-san!**

**Tsukasa:** Ane-san? What’s with the use of honorifics? Wait… Honorifics? Using the word kaijin instead of monster? Oh my Overlord, this world is ruled by TV-Nihon! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Yuusuke: CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Suddenly, Yuusuke gets migraines}

**Yuusuke: OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE HEIGHTENED SENSES PART AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!**

**Tsukasa:** Kuuga hasn't gotten used to his powers yet? I see… I now know what this world is…

 **Yashiro:** What are you blathering about?

 **Tsukasa:** ( _Oh crap! If I tell her about alternate worlds, I’d be meddling! I gotta play it cool and not meddle… even though I’m supposed to meddle to save this world, the eight other worlds, and Natsumi’s world… Whatever._ ) Oh nothing, just blathering on about my insanity.

 **Yashiro:** … Okay then…

**Yuusuke: It’s okay… I can still fight!**

{Hops onto the roof and kills the Grongi with a single bullet. Yeah, Kuuga’s that awesome. Then Yashiro gets on the rooftop as he demorphs}

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san, what did you think of my henshin?

 **Yashiro:** Somebody just died and you care about how your henshin was?

 **Yuusuke:** Okay… Well… How about we go eat somewhere?

 **Yashiro:** Seriously, are you listening to yourself? We’re no closer to cracking the case behind these kaijin attacks and you still need to learn how to control your powers… You would have let #8 get away, you know. This isn’t the time to hang out and relax. You need to practice and train. But first, you must rest. That’s what you need to do.

{Yashiro leaves Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san…

* * *

{le police station}

 **Yashiro:** So the only thing we know about these attacks is that all the murdered victims are female cop.

 **Random Police Chief:** Yashiro, it’s only natural that cops get killed. They’re the ones that fire five rounds rapid at the kaijin.

 **Yashiro:** No! The cops were murdered before the cops were mobilized! There has to be a reason why the cops are getting killed! A thread!

{Tsukasa walks in and pours tea into the chief’s drink, then makes his presence known by overfilling the coffee.}

 **Tsukasa:** Ah yes, the Gegeru. They treat their killings as a giant game, counting their kills, trying to pull off cool tricks with them… It’s pretty fun once you try it.

 **Yashiro:** YOU AGAIN!? What are you doing here and what do you know about the kaijin?

{Fortunately, Tsukasa is saved from explaining by convenient “RANDOM KAIJIN ATTACK” message, and the cops disperse}

* * *

{le bridge}

**Baberu:** I just killed one female cop and there’s another one just standing there, buuuuuuuuut I’ll take a stroll into this tunnel.

{A wild Decade appears as Yuusuke and Yashiro arrive}

 **Yashiro:** Where’s the kaijin?

{Baberu gets kicked out of the tunnel by Decade, who then rider kicks the Grongi and destroys him}

 **Yashiro:** Wait… Unidentified Being… #10?

{I see what you did there}

 **Yuusuke:** Why did you kill a fellow kaijin?

**Tsukasa: Uh, I have bug eyes, spandex, and armor. What makes you think I’m a Grongi?**

{leaves, then drives his motorbike out of the area}

 **Yuusuke:** What the heck was that all about?

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, this is a photo studio? I thought this was a restaurant!

 **Eijiro:** It’s a TARDIS disguised as a photo studio _disguised_ as a restaurant! Nah, just kidding, it’s just a TARDIS as a photo studio. Care for coffee?

* * *

{later at the photo studio}

 **Yashiro:** So, about #10…

 **Yuusuke:** I’ll defeat him, don’t worry.

 **Yashiro:** No. I wasn’t thinking that. Well, you know how he said that he implied he isn’t a… whatever he called himself, and how he killed #9? Well… Maybe… Maybe we could have him help us.

 **Yuusuke:** So he could replace me!?

{desk slam}

 **Yashiro:** What!? No! You need help, and this guy effortlessly killed what looked to be a pretty powerful kaijin.

 **Tsukasa:** He was powerful alright. Would have put a dent in your armor, Kuuga.

{Yes, suddenly Tsukasa is in the room}

 **Tsukasa:** You should learn to hide your identity better by not talking about this in plain sight. Because now I know you’re #4, Kuuga, though it should be obvious since your name is Yuusuke.

 **Yuusuke:** How did you know my name?

 **Tsukasa:** Again, you talked about this as if no one could hear you. Look, I know everything about the Grongi, or as you tend to call them, Kaijin, so let me help you. I have a theory…

 **Yuusuke:** Hey butt out! No one asked for you to meddle!

 **Tsukasa:** Sorry, but I’m all for meddling.

 **Yuusuke:** Grrrr…

{Yuusuke leaves the photo studio, and Natsumi follows}

* * *

{Yuusuke is on his bike, ready to leave, but Natsumi stopped him}

 **Natsumi:** Hey! Ms. Yashiro is just worried about you, Yuusuke.

 **Yuusuke:** I know she is, but if I don’t fight… if I don’t fight, who will!?

 **Natsumi:** Dec…

{Natsumi is then reminded of the Rider War and how Decade pwned everyone}

 **Natsumi:** …

 **Yuusuke:** Thought so.

{Yuusuke rides off}

* * *

{Back at the police station}

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, want to see me blow your minds? Look at the birthdates of the murdered cops.

{Tsukasa writes down the four birthdays, then circles the last digits of each of them}

 **Tsukasa:** The numbers conveniently spell out the message of “Kill everyone”. All that’s needed is the 4.

 **Random Police Chief:** How?

 **Tsukasa:** Right… I’m sorry. I don’t speak Gratuitous Japanese. Ahem. Mi-na-go-ro-shi.

 **Random Police Chief: ZOMG!** PROTECT ALL THE FEMALE COPS A 4 IN THEIR BIRTHDATES!

* * *

{Meanwhile, Grongis are planning stuff.}

**Bemiu:** Soon, our plans to revive the Grongi lord will become a reality!

**Biran:** All we need is one more cop!

* * *

{Back at the photo studio}

 **Tsukasa:** Damn it, these photos are bad too! Figured… this world hates me as much as I hate it.

 **Natsumi:** What do you mean?

 **Tsukasa:** I figured out what this world is. It’s the World of Kuuga when it was subbed by TV-Nihon. Their untranslated Japanese, use of honorifics, and translating Grongi through guesswork are all signature traits of this world. It also explains why we’re here when Kuuga was starting out. Have you heard of the Kuuga Curse?

 **Natsumi:** Kuuga Curse? Like… the owner of the belt will have bad things happen to him?

 **Tsukasa:** No. It’s a curse that befalls all subbers who try to sub all of Kuuga, leading to failures in trying to do so and resulting in those projects being cancelled early on. TV-Nihon was a victim of this very curse. This world is supposed to represent TV-Nihon’s take on the show. I could only assume I must prevent its destruction by finding a way to stop the curse from forcing the subbers’ hands in cancelling the project. But how is too hard… So I’ll troll!

 **Natsumi:** What?

 **Tsukasa:** Watch and be amazed!

{Tsukasa gets out his phone}

* * *

{At random fight location #43902}

 **Yashiro:** You better have a good explanation for why you called me here to this location! And why is #10’s bike here?

 **Tsukasa:** You accidentally revealed to me Kuuga’s identity, and now I’ll ‘accidentally’ reveal to you #10’s identity. But first…

{Tsukasa then punches Yashiro in the nose}

 **Yashiro:** OW! My nose! Why did you do that!

{She bleeds and the Grongi come out}

**Biran:** FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

**Yashiro:** Grongi?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. Turns out they’re killing the female cops in the same amount of distance of Mt. Plot Device. They’re also those kind of guys who set challenges to the games they play, and so they tried to kill the cops without spilling blood. Buuuuut I sort of spilled blood and so they failed.

{Suddenly Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** How the hell did you know all that?

 **Tsukasa:** I was able to speak Grongi to #9.

 **Yashiro:** You speak Grongi? How? No one, not even the top linguists, are able to decipher it!

 **Tsukasa:** I’ll explain after.

{No! Don’t do that! Haven’t you seen Game of Thrones? No one _ever_ explains after they say something like “the next time we meet” or “it can wait”!}

 **Tsukasa:** Time for me to kick some ass! Henshin!

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{transforms}

 **Yuusuke:** Wait… Decade? Huh… Should have figured that out…

{Tsukasa fights the Grongi and kills Bemiu, a Go-class Grongi (which to those who don’t watch Kuuga is pretty much the equivalent to an all-star) with a single slash. Wow is that Decade strong or what?!}

 **Yuusuke:** I see… **HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke transforms and beats him up}

 **Tsukasa:** **The heck was that for!?**

 **Yuusuke:** **It’s just as I heard, devil!**

 **Tsukasa:** **Devil? What are you on about!?**

**Yuusuke: I was told you’d come here and kill all the Riders! I’m here to prevent that from happening!**

**Tsukasa: Why would I kill the Riders? And you’re the only Rider here and I’m not the one randomly punching someone in the face now, am I?**

**Yashiro:** Ahem…

**Tsukasa: Okay, Yashiro aside. **

**Yuusuke: I don’t care if whatever he told me is a lie… I’ll fight to protect myself and those around me! **

**Biran:** Hey! Remember me? I’m supposed to be the one you guys are fighting!

**Yuusuke: Oh, right… **

{Yuusuke Rider Kicks Biran. Natsumi arrives and sees Tsukasa and Yuusuke confronting each other… then flashbacks to the Rider War.}

* * *

{Teh Uber Rider has pwned everyone and walks up to Natsumi, then Kuuga rises from the dead and becomes Black-Eyed Ultimate Form. They beat each other for a bit and then blow up the world because their punches are so epic.}

* * *

**Natsumi:** Stop fighting! You’ll only worsen this world!

**Yuusuke: Oh hey, cool sword. CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke transforms into Titan Form and gets Biran’s sword}

**Tsukasa: Meh, screw it. I’m sure this will rake in the big bucks. Come at me, bro!**

**ATTACK RIDE: SLASH!**

{Sword fighting ensues}

**Yuusuke: Crap… Hey, Ane-san! Hand me that gun!**

**Yashiro:** What? No! You and Decade need to work out your differences and fight the Grongi!

**Yuusuke: Who cares about teamwork and fighting monsters? I have a sudden urge to kill him for some reason! CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke snatches the gun from Yashiro and transforms into Pegasus Form, shooting at Decade}

**Tsukasa: It’s just your natural instinct as a rider to fight other riders! Now come at me, if you dare!**

**ATTACK RIDE: BLAST!**

{Tsukasa shoots at Yuusuke and they have a shootout. Meanwhile, a person mysteriously watches them.}

 **Narutaki:** Riders fighting each other? That should not be. There’s only one way to stop this…

{Narutaki summons a portal which brings forth the Hopper Hell Brothers}

**Kageyama: Oh hey, there’s Riders for us to fight!**

**Yaguruma: So there is… you ready, Aniki?**

**Kageyama: OH HELL YEAH!**

{And then the Hopper Hell Brothers go and attack the riders. Tell me, is this Kamen Rider or WWE?}

{TO BE CONTINUED!}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not mean to insult TV-Nihon or slander them in anyway with the jokes I made.


	3. Yuuseless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kuuga Curse takes hold. Will Tsukasa and Yuusuke defeat it?

{Kuuga and Decade are fighting the Hopper Hell Brothers}

**Yuusuke: Where did these guys come from!?**

**Tsukasa: I don’t know, but it seems we’re ignoring each other.**

**Yuusuke: Well, when you have two guys attacking you… Screw it, CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Transforms into Dragon Form, fights Kageyama, then coughs}

**Yaguruma: YOU LAUGHED AT MY PARTNER!? YOU MUST DIE!**

{Yaguruma goes to punch Yuusuke}

**Yuusuke: Oh shi-**

 

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

 

* * *

{The Hoppers are beating up Yuusuke}

**Yuusuke: OH GOD MAKE IT STOP EVERYTHING HURTS!**

{The Hoppers then get shot at by Tsukasa}

**Tsukasa: Okay, start explaining. Where did you guys come from?**

**Yaguruma: From hell. Do you wish to come?**

**Tsukasa: From… hell? Seriously, you’re from hell? AWESOME!**

**Yuusuke: I think he’s trying to be metaphorical here. Look, none of us are interested in going to “hell” so just take your aniki and leave. **

**Tsukasa: Wait, I want to know… why did you attack us?**

**Yaguruma: Riders should beat each other up, right?**

{A dimensional wall that gives a subtle build up but no pay off comes and takes the Hell Brothers away}

 **Narutaki:** My job is done. They’ve stopped fighting… for now. Decade, you should know what Riders are supposed to be…

{Narutaki walks off}

 

* * *

{Later, when everyone demorphed}

 **Natsumi:** Why the heck were you two fighting!?

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, first off, he attacked me. Second of all, we just had this… primal urge.

 **Yashiro:** Mr.Kadoya is a human and stated before he’s not a Grongi! So why did you attack him?

 **Yuusuke:** Because I was told that an enemy named Decade would come and kill all the Riders.

 **Yashiro:** So you randomly believed this person? It could have been some other Decade they were talking about!

 **Yuusuke:** No… This one… There was something in me that told me to fight him.

 **Yashiro:** Oh, okay, so you just fell for your instinct. Yuusuke, you’re still just learning how to use that thing. There will be times where the belt will tell you to… I don’t know, mercilessly beat the crap out of a Grongi to the point where it begs for mercy as you plunge your sword down its stomach.

{Yuusuke gives her a “WTF” look}

 **Yashiro:** But you shouldn’t let those instincts consume you. There’s a line between trusting your instincts and letting them take over your mind. Mr. Kadoya, is what you said correct? That this game of theirs is done?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. According to the script, they were trying to free this Ultimate Darkness from within Mt. Plot Device.

 **Yashiro:** So it’s still imprisoned? Good. The police can kill it then.

 **Tsukasa:** What? No, it’s not literally imprisoned! You can’t take him out yourself!

{But it’s too late, as Yashiro leaves to confront the Ultimate Darkness}

 **Tsukasa:** We should stop her… Buuuuuuut let’s have some exposition over lunch!

 

* * *

**Yuusuke:** Hahahaha, wow, these pictures are funny.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, that means I don’t belong here.

 **Yuusuke:** Yeah… You might not. Especially since I can’t go five minutes without randomly calling you the devil and attacking you.

 **Natsumi:** So… who told you that Tsukasa’s this… devil?

 **Yuusuke:** Some weird guy in a fisherman’s hat.

 

* * *

{Flashback to Yuusuke in a cave with a box of scraps and Narutaki}

 **Narutaki:** Because he rejected his role of Kuuga, you must take his place in the war against the Devil.

 **Yuusuke:** The Devil?      

 **Narutaki:** Yes. There will come a time when justice and camaraderie will be obscured by blood and sand. The Devil will make sure of that. Break this cycle of hatred, Kuuga. Don’t allow Decade to kill the riders.

 

* * *

**News Reporter:** We interrupt this exposition dump to bring you… COURAGE! THE COWARDLY DOG SHOW!

{Natsumi’s TV gets static}

 **Another News Reporter:** We interrupt that interruption to bring you this bulletin. Black smoke is coming from Mt. Hitoki, coming from the area where a specific police force, specialized in Unidentified Life Forms, are getting killed.

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san!

{Yuusuke runs off as Natsumi laughing-thumb-jabs Tsukasa}

 **Natsumi:** You knew this would happen! Why did you let us have lunch when we could have helped Ms. Yashiro!?

 **Tsukasa:** Hahahahahaha! It’s because I was hungry.

 **Natsumi:** So… What the heck are we supposed to do? Is what we have to do in this world isn’t over yet?

 **Tsukasa:** I guess so. Hang on, I’ll go to the mountain and see what the heck is up with that.

 

* * *

{Meanwhile, at said mountain, Police are dying and turning into Grongi thanks to the black smoke}

 **Yashiro:** The heck!?

{Yuusuke comes to save her}

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san! This way!

{He leads her away as the Ultimate Darkness comes out. Then Decade punches him, buuuuuuut he doesn’t flinch.}

**Gamio:** Why have I awakened?

**Tsukasa: Sorry, what?**

**Gamio:** I wasn’t supposed to be awakened!

**Tsukasa: Then why the heck did those Grongi tried to free you then?**

**Gamio:** I guess they haven’t gotten the memo I sent then a thousand years back when I was sealed.

 

* * *

{Cut to the letter in ancient Grongi}

_Dearest Grongi,_

_Please don’t wake me up. I want to take my eternal slumber and have it in peace. The last thing I want to do is wake up and find out that the place I’m in is being defended by teenagers with attitude. Seriously, no one should have to go through the trouble of trying to kill teenagers on a weekly basis then get a migraine when they defeat a monster in the same old fashion of killing it in a giant monster battle that should have caused more destruction than what the Grongi usually do. I don’t even wish that upon Daguva. So yeah._

_Don’t wake me up,_

_N. Gamio Zeda._

_P.S. I am dead serious about this, don’t free me. At all! Not even as a game or a Sacred Gegeru!_

 

* * *

**Tsukasa: So do you want me to put you to a permanent sleep? I can do that. **

**Gamio:** Hm… Nah.

{Gamio punches Tsukasa so hard he bounced off the wall}

**Gamio:** It’s too late. The Linto will become Grongi now!

**Tsukasa: What? That wasn’t what the Ultimate Darkness is! You’re supposed to make humans as violent as the Grongi, not literally turn them _in_ to Grongi!**

**Gamio:** That is because I chose to translate it as such. I now know why I was awakened. I am here because this world is cursed. I shall bring an end to this world before it sees natural closure.

**Tsukasa: You mean… This is the Kuuga Curse’s will?**

**Gamio:** Yes… Watch as I cancel this world’s production!

{Turns into the Smoke Monster}

 

* * *

{le hospital}

 **News Reporter:** Now the smoke is spreading out into the world! Unidentified Life Forms are emerging from this very smoke and its toxicity!

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san…

{Natsumi goes to Yuusuke}

 **Natsumi:** Yuusuke, what the heck is going on!?

 **Yuusuke:** The Grongi… That smoke is turning humans into Grongi. I’m worried for Ane-san… She inhaled a lot of it.

 **Natsumi:** You must have some concern for her… Just as she has a concern for you.

 **Yuusuke:** I will admit… I sort of have this crush on her. It’s silly… but… she’s a nice person, you know? I… I guess that’s why I fight. So that she doesn’t have to.

{Tsukasa enters just as Yuusuke hears this, beaten up}

 **Tsukasa:** And like that, the Yuusuke/Ichijou ship gets silently confirmed because Ichijou was gender swapped.

 **Yuusuke:** What are you on about? Who’s Ichijou!?

 **Natsumi:** TSUKASA! Oh My Goddess, you’re injured! What happened!?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, that, well the Kuuga Curse decided to wake up an ancient Grongi that took the “Turn Humans into Grongi” thing way too literally. I’m guessing that’s its way of trying to end the show.

 **Yuusuke:** End the show? Kuuga Curse? You know something I don’t! Now fess up!

 **Tsukasa:** I’m not telling you. It’d be meddling.

 **Natsumi:** Meddling? People are dying and you’re thinking of trying to stop meddling? Screw this. We came from another world, and we’re trying to save this and eight other worlds from their untimely destruction.

{Just then, Donald Duck comes in, squawking his head off}

 **Donald Duck:** YOU IDIOT! YOU DOOMED US ALL! YOUR MEDDLING WILL DESTROY THE MULTIVERSE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

{Donald Duck’s head explodes}

{Silence pertains as Yuusuke looks at the people grieving from their pains}

 **Yuusuke:** I… can’t fight.

 **Tsukasa:** Welp, time for me to pull out from this hat of “Believe in yourself” speeches gathered from various Shonen manga.

{gets a top hat and draws from it}

 **Tsukasa:** Ah, here we go! “If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win.”

{Yuusuke and Natsumi look at him, horrified}

 **Yuusuke:** That doesn’t help boost my morale in the slightest!

 **Natsumi:** What kind of manga gives off that kind of quote?

 **Tsukasa:** Apparently one with tons of blood and gore. Welp, since that didn’t help at all, I’m gonna go and fight that Grongi myself. Someone’s gotta stop the curse.

{Tsukasa leaves while Yuusuke goes to Yashiro}

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san…

 **Yashiro:** Yuusuke…  Why are you here?

 **Yuusuke:** I’m here because you make me smile when you complement me on my fighting. And… I fight because… I want to see you smile too… I can’t fight without you!

 **Yashiro:** I… I’ll die soon… If… If I become a Grongi… Kill me.

 **Yuusuke:** A…Ane-san…

 **Yashiro:** If my smile made you fight, then… the smiles of others will make you fight better. You’ll become stronger… better than before… Show me that you care, Yuusuke. Show me that you’ll fight for their smiles. It’s an order.

{Yuusuke starts to cry}

 **Yuusuke:** A… Ai-san.

 **Yashiro:** You called me by my first name… I’m… happy.

{Yashiro gives him a smile. Yuusuke then rushes off as Natsumi enters.}

 **Yashiro:** I played with his heart… In order for him to fight for everyone… is… is that a sin?

 **Natsumi:** No. It isn’t.

 **Yashiro:** Yuusuke… Promise me he won’t die.

{Natsumi smiles}

 **Natsumi:** So long as he has you in mind… he won’t.

 

* * *

{le final battle ground #1}

**Gamio:** Soon… This world will end!

{Tsukasa rides in on his motorbike}

**Gamio:** You again? You don’t belong in this world!

**Tsukasa:** It seems we are both people who should not be in this world.

**Gamio:** Do you wish to defeat fate? Do you wish to defeat the will of the Kuuga Curse? You will fail.

**Tsukasa:** No. I won’t. For I believe that this world will find its closure eventually.

 **Gamio:** It never will! The thirteenth and final episode will never be subbed!

 **Tsukasa:** Final?

**Gamio:** Yes! Those who try to cipher our language only succeeded for ninety percent of our time outside… but they are unable to cipher the Ultimate Darkness… The final episode of this show!

**Tsukasa:** How can that be? Kuuga ran for forty-nine episodes! Unless… Oh my Overlord… This world was a story that’s cut short…

**Gamio:** Exactly, just like yours. GET HIM!

{A horde of Grongi head to Tsukasa}

 **Tsukasa:** I don’t think so! Henshin!

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE**

{Transformation and fight ensue… for five seconds before Tsukasa gets his ass handed to and mauled by thousands upon thousands of Grongi. Then Kuuga comes and saves him.}

**Yuusuke: Tsukasa! I’m here to save you!**

**Tsukasa:** For Yashiro?

**Yuusuke: She won’t smile if you fight by yourself!**

**Gamio:** ENOUGH! HAX BLAST!

{Gamio fires a green Hadouken at the group, knocking Yuusuke to the ground, causing him to go into Growing, then demorph.}

**Gamio:** Grongi! Let these two fight each other! Humans can do nothing but fight each other!

**Yuusuke:** That’s bullshit!

{Tsukasa looks surprised at Yuusuke as he gets up}

{[Cue the song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s)}

 **Yuusuke:** Humans… aren’t like you monsters! They’ll never be like you! They fight to protect others! And they die by your hands when they do! That’s why I fight! I fight so that no one else needs to fight! I used to fight for Ai-san’s smile… but… when you plunged this world into darkness, I’ve desired to make everyone smile. I will protect everyone’s smiles!

{Tsukasa nods his head and plays along}

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah! When he protects their smiles, I’ll protect his! Did you know his smile’s good?

{Suddenly, slash fic warning signs blare}

**Gamio:** Who are you to decide the outcome of this world? Identify yourself, outsider!

{Tsukasa gives a cocky smile and places the DecaDriver on his waist}

 **Tsukasa:** I’m just a passing through Kamen Rider… REMEMBER THAT! HENSHIN!

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{Transformation ensues}

**Tsukasa: Yuusuke, I know you might not be able to transform... but if you can't fight... **

**Yuusuke:** Don't worry. I can fight. I _won't_ die. **HENSHIN!**

{Transformation ensues. Just then, Kuuga felt a pulse and looked at Decade}

 **Arcle:** _Kill him Kuuga… It’s your nature… Your duty…_

{Kuuga’s Arcle begins to spark yellow electricity}

**Yuusuke: No… He’s my comrade! I won’t hurt him!**

{Then Tsukasa’s RideBooker opened up and gave him three cards that glowed and activated}

**Tsukasa: Sweet! New powers! Come, Yuusuke, let’s try it out! **

**Yuusuke: Okay!**

**FINAL FORM RIDE: KU- KU-KU-KUUGA!**

**Tsukasa: Now, this miiiiiiiight tickle!**

{Tsukasa pokes Yuusuke’s back. At first, he got a jetpack, then his head bends backwards into it.}

**Yuusuke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!**

{Sounds of bones breaking could be heard as he transforms into a stag beetle}

**Yuusuke: Okay, I’m good now.**

**Tsukasa: Told you it’d just tickle.**

{They kick Gamio’s ass with this power}

**Gamio:** How could the Linto be able to destroy me?

**Tsukasa: Because, we’re Sonic Heroes!**

**Yuusuke: Really?**

**Tsukasa: Yeah…**

**Gamio:** The curse… the darkness… they’re all… fading… This ending… it completes me… and Kuuga…

{Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!}

 

* * *

{The duo rush back to the hospital, only to find Yashiro has died}

 **Yuusuke:** Ai-san…

 **Tsukasa:** Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, might as well hit the old dusty trail…

{leaves slowly. Then trips the fire alarm}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh for the Overlord’s sake!

 

* * *

{The Grongi fade away at the cave. Then Narutaki comes in}

 **Narutaki:** Decade… you were able to stray from your nature… but… you has brought Kuuga's story to an end… Decade… I can’t forgive you.

{He then fades through a wall}

 

* * *

{Back at the Photo Studio}

 **Natsumi:** Why did we leave Yuusuke like that? The hell, Tsukasa?

 **Tsukasa:** Our mission is done. Turns out that this world is different from Kuuga’s world, in which it only had a handful of episodes and the curse tried to bring about the show’s ending so that it’d have closure by the time the subbers cancelled the project. We stopped this world from being destroyed, so that’s our mission.

 **Natsumi:** To stop the worlds from being destroyed?

 **Tsukasa:** Seems like it. I’ve gained more powers by having Kuuga as a friend, though. So it seems my personal mission is to make friends with the nine Riders and gain their powers. Who knows, maybe I could learn something about myself. Like why I can speak Grongi.

 **Natsumi:** You speak Grongi?

 **Tsukasa:** For some reason… Was I a Grongi at some point?

 **Natsumi:** Only one way to find out… Onto the next world.

{The two enter the main picture hall where they nod to Eijiro, who knocks the chains and reveals the next painting to be Kiva’s World.}

 

* * *

{Yuusuke is at Yashiro’s grave now}

 **Yuusuke:** Yashiro… Even if the Grongi are gone… I’ll make you and everyone else smile… Somehow…

{Just then, a small bat flew to him}

**Kivara:** Is that what you wish? How would you like to travel the worlds and be a supporting yet ultimately useless character?

**Yuusuke:** Huh? What? I-

 **Kivara:** Good! Now this might tickle!

{She then transports Yuusuke away to another world}

{To Be Continued}


	4. New Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa and Natsumi wind up in what seemed to be a rejected Vampire: The Masquerade setting, set with tons of LARPers and Yuusuke.

{We resume our story with Yuusuke being transported to another world}

 **Yuusuke:** What the hell? Where am I? Where are you taking me?

 **Kivara:** Where you will feel useful, Yuuseless…

 **Yuusuke:** My name is Yuusuke!

 **Kivara:** That implies that you will have use… Hehehehe…

{Yuusuke then appears in a posh room where he is greeted by a blue werewolf, a green merman, and a purple Frankenstein monster.}

 **Yuusuke:** Horror movie monsters? What?

* * *

{Tsukasa gets outside… only for his clothes to magically change to that of a violinist}

 **Tsukasa:** Sweet, now to find a girl who will hopelessly pine for me to the point where she’ll sell her soul to heal my hand. Then I’ll play the usual role of trolling douche, ignore her, then make out with her friend.

 **Natsumi:** Tsukasa, that will never happen, and you know it.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, it could happen! Oh, hey look, Castle Doran! We must be in Kiva’s world!

 **Natsumi:** The one with where Toshiki Inoue took a great concept, poured leftovers of Faiz over it and called it a day?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. That one… Oh shi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

**Natsumi:** So how do you know about-

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, this is getting annoying. First off, how the hell do _you_ know Castle Doran? Second off, I have JRPG Amnesia so I could easily remember that but not remember my own past. And lastly, we’re both seemingly played as Kamen Rider Otaku, so it doesn’t make sense for us to ask each other how we know this stuff. Besides, perverted spider monster with wasted potential is here.

 **Spider:** Herro!

 **Tsukasa:** As if we need any more warning signs that he’s bad news… I guess you want a picture?

 **Spider:** Yeah.

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, let’s go in.

{They go inside, where the Spider Fangire sees the backdrop}

 **Spider:** Now let me change into a monster form!

{transforms into Spider Fangire}

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, time for me to kick your ass!

{Gets DecaDriver}

 **Eijiro:** Wait! The TARDIS suddenly pulled this out of the Fireplace that can also function as a computer!

 **Tsukasa:** What?

{reads the guide}

 **Tsukasa:** Oooooooh… A Fangire and Human truce is made… This must be after the finale… But how come Spidey here is still around? Didn’t he get offed by Mari to prove no other point than to show Mari kicking ass?

 **Spider:** Huh? I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I’m playing the race card!

{he runs out to two children, bawling his eyes out. If this was the real universe’s Spider Fangire, this would actually be a scary scene}

 **Spider:** Aaaaaaaaaah! Little kids, little kids, help, they’re bullying me!

 **Random Child Guard (really? Child guards? Yeah, that’s surely not a sign of a Dai-Shocker ruled world.):** Stop that shit.

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, jeez!

* * *

{Meanwhile…}

 **Basshaa:** Damn it, the Prince ran away. Argh! This always happens when we talk to him about becoming king! It’s like he doesn’t want to be king or something!

* * *

{le abandoned house}

 **Kybat:** Great… First I babysat what someone claimed was God, then I was a computer hacker who’s the right hand man of an alien, and now I’m babysitting this excuse of loyalty… Good grief. Can we just go back to the castle?

 **Wataru:** Nope.

 **Kybat:** I’m pretty surprised that there’s a kid who doesn’t want to become a king. Then again, I’m a talking bat and we’re stuck in a world where-

* * *

**Natsumi:** It's like a Twilight fanfic.

{Tsukasa and Natsumi are riding their bike on the street, noticing the various people, as Humans and Fangires start becoming closer together.}

 **Tsukasa:** You mean it wasn’t already? At least it means we just need to find a guy who sparkles in the daylight and assume he’s the villain and then beat him to death. Or if that fails, find Dakota Fanning and beat her ass.

{Thumb-jab-laugh that results in the two crashing their bike}

 **Tsukasa:** What did you do that for?

 **Natsumi:** I hear someone murdering a violin.

 **Tsukasa:** Sweet, time to outplay him!

{gets over there and does just that to the violin player, revealed to be Wataru}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh yeah! You like my skills, dontcha?

 **Natsumi:** I apologize for Tsukasa’s dickish behaviour.

 **Wataru:** Leave me alone! I am a monster!

 **Tsukasa:** Welp, we found our Kiva. Only a rider like Kiva would whine about their heritage.

{Sudden woman scream}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hey, a woman that’s in trouble. I’m off to save her, byyyyyyyye!

{leaves}

* * *

{le battle ground #2}

{A woman is being chased by the Lion Fangire, who kicked all kinds of ass}

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, here’s how it’s gonna go, Fangire. I fight you, you die, I become badass, kids buy toys that I used to kill you.

 **Rook:** Out of my way. I’m the closest thing this world has to a police officer, and that woman broke the law!

 **Tsukasa:** Booooring. Look, let me kill you. It’d only take a second.

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{Ass kicking ensues as Tsukasa easily kills the Lion Fangire, who took one fight to grant a weak spot on his shoulder, twenty two years, and then someone else to attack that very same weak spot for massive damage.}

 **Kybat:** Good grief… He just killed the guard. Wataru, he broke the law. Why don’t you kick his ass?

 **Wataru:** Fine… Kivat!

 **Kybat:** Alright! Kivatte… **IKUZE! Gabu!**

 **Wataru:** Henshin.

{transforms into Kiva, then begins fighting Tsukasa. Meanwhile, Kivara and Narutaki talk from afar}

 **Kivara:** See? When I brought the useless one to this world, Decade followed.

 **Narutaki:** How does that make a lick of sense? I’m pretty sure Decade went to this world _before_ you dragged Kuuga along, and why did you bother to do so anyways? Isn’t this gonna make more meddling?

 **Kivara:** Since when do we follow Kingdom Hearts rules? Now, for your daily dosage. **Ga…bu!**

 **Narutaki:** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah~!

{Back to the fighting}

**Wataru: We need to take this guy out!**

**Kybat:** Well, you don’t have Emperor Form yet, so you can’t abuse the heck out of it. Just use the forms you never really use in the first place.

**Wataru: Alright.**

**Kyvat: BASSHAA MAGNUM! **

* * *

{Back at Castle Doran}

 **Basshaa:** Holy crap! I’m finally noticed! Yay!

* * *

{Wataru becomes Basshaa Form and kicks Tsukasa’s ass}

**Tsukasa: I’ve been needing an excuse to use this… Henshin!**

**KAMEN RIDE: KUUGA!**

{Transforms into Kuuga}

 **Natsumi:** He transformed into Kuuga! Just like Yuusuke!

**Tsukasa: No shit, Sherlock!**

{more fighting ensues, with Tsukasa and Wataru switching forms faster than you can say “Wataru has other forms?”. That’s when Yuusuke comes in}

 **Yuusuke:** Stop fighting!

**Tsukasa: Yuusuke?**

**Yuusuke:** Don’t you see? This is like what happened back in my world!

**Wataru: What is he talking about?**

{Tsukasa and Wataru demorph}

 **Tsukasa:** You wouldn’t understand. And I don’t want to infuriate the duck even more than I did.

 **Wataru:** Well, I’ll stop, but that doesn’t excuse this man from killing a guard.

 **Tsukasa:** I was trying to protect a woman!

 **Bishop:** A woman who was breaking the law!

 **Yuusuke:** Oh, yeah. That woman’s a Fangire and she broke the law by sucking up a human dry.

 **Disposable Woman Fangire:** But it’s my instinct to feeeeeeeeed!

 **Bishop:** Yeah. Vampire LARPers called, they think you’re getting too over dramatic.

{Bishop casually kills the woman in front of the heroes. If this was the real Bishop, this would have been a serious “he crossed the line” moment, but here…}

 **Tsukasa:** So I killed a guy trying to do his job? … Awkward.

 **Yuusuke:** Well, at least it wasn’t me fighting you. I am a guard after all. Alright, I’m gonna treat you for ice cream, Wataru!

 **Wataru:** Are you people blind!? Two Fangires died and you just brush it aside like it’s nothing! One of our guards is dead and we just saw an execution done live! How can you be cheery about that!?

 **Yuusuke:** Oh yeah… Hey, Tsukasa, do you have fondue at your place? I could go for chocolate strawberries!

 **Kybat:** And it’s at that moment that me and Wataru discovered that we were surrounded by idiots.

* * *

{le photo TARDIS}

 **Yuusuke:** Delicious!

 **Tsukasa:** Why are you here, anyways?

 **Yuusuke:** Because I’m Kuuga!

 **Tsukasa:** That’s not a valid excuse!

 **Yuusuke:** It worked for Batman.

 **Tsukasa:** Because he’s a badass. Everyone’s arguments are invalid when Batman’s concerned. So why are you here?

 **Yuusuke:** A strange bat creature took me here and I met up with this prince. I’m going to help him out. I think I’m really getting through to him!

* * *

{flashback to le castle}

 **Wataru:** What are you doing in my castle?

 **Yuusuke:** I don’t know… But I think I’m gonna help you smile!

 **Wataru:** Don’t. There are only fangs to my smiles.

 **Yuusuke:** Well… fangs can be pretty cute on a child.

 **Wataru:** I am nothing but a bastard child. Cursed to be to bear an unbearable curse of cursedness because of my parent’s forbidden love. Woe is me!

 **Yuusuke:** I’ll help you however I can!

 **Wataru:** You can start by leaving me alone with my thoughts.

 **Yuusuke:** How about I be your guard?

 **Wataru:** Fine.

* * *

**Tsukasa:** You know, the brat’s right. You’re pretty blind.

 **Yuusuke:** He’s not a brat! He is the future king and when he becomes king, the world will be a better place! That’s why I’m safeguarding him!

 **Tsukasa:** Look, he’s going through that dopey emo phase of being a vampire. At least wait until he gets to the Alucard-level badass phase of his life. I mean, it took the original Wataru about a series before he got to that point.

* * *

{back at the castle}

 **Wataru:** I don’t want to be king.

 **Kybat:** He’s been like this all day. I’ve tried getting him to at the very least sing _I Just Can’t Wait To be King_ , but even the might of Disney can’t make him change his mind.

 **Garulu:** Dude, the throne is sitting there, getting showered by magically appearing rose petals with no one to sit on it for ten freaking years! The Fangires are beginning to forget that we’re supposed to have peace with the humans and began attacking! We need a king!

 **Wataru:** Then find one. I won’t be your king, for I am a mistake that should never exist.

{Wataru gets up and leaves.}

 **Garulu:** Great. Our only shot at getting a king up and left. It’s not like some dude will march in and declare kinghood!

* * *

{cut to the Beetle Fangire looking at Castle Doran}

 **Beetle:** Hm… I suddenly feel the need to declare kinghood!

* * *

{back with Wataru, Yuusuke catches up to him}

 **Yuusuke:** Hey, want that ice cream I promised you yesterday?

 **Wataru:** Stay away from me! I am cuuuuurrsed!

 **Yuusuke:** Are you running away somewhere? I could help you. Just get on my bike, tell me where to go, and we’ll go.

 **Wataru:** Would you be willing to kidnap a prince? And why?

 **Yuusuke:** If it means finding use in my life, I will do it. And Wataru, you need someone, just like I do. Welp, I’m gonna give you some candy now.

{gives Wataru candy}

 **Yuusuke:** Bye-bye!

{leaves}

 **Wataru:** … Okay?

* * *

{Meanwhile, Fangires are attacking people, but Tsukasa is too busy looking for violin players to show off his skills to, which he does.}

 **Random Dude:** Sup dude. That was a sweet melody you got.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. Too bad I had to let those people die while I went over here to play my violin to you.

 **Random Dude:** Yeah. Fangires do that. It’s their nature.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, it won’t be once humans and Fangires get together.

 **Random Dude:** That will never happen. I tried to shag it with a human woman once, but we were exiled because of our forbidden love.

 **Tsukasa:** So you must be Kiva’s dad.

 **Random Dude:** Kiva… A King who is long gone from this world. His replacement is nothing but a coward who is scared of his past. The past that was forged by forbidden love.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh for the Overlord’s sake, you’re starting with the emo vampire crap too. Welp, I’m out of here.

{Walks off}

 **Random Dude Who Is Totally Not The Beetle Fangire:** Wait! You haven’t heard the part where I would say that I’m overthrowing Kiva!

* * *

{le riverbank}

 **Tsukasa:** This world is just full of stupid stuff. Why can’t something cool and interesting happen?

{Just then, a small bat flew to him}

 **Kivara:** Is that what you wish? How would you like to learn the meaning of your existence in the eyes of the future writing staff?

 **Tsukasa:** That could be cool and interesting. Show me the meaning!

 **Kivara:** Of being lonely? Or of being a Rider?

{Kivara teleports him to a stadium. Then Kaixa comes.}

**Kusaka: I’m here to take your belt!**

**Tsukasa:** Why?

**Kusaka: So I could go around posing as you and ruin any sort of truce you would have formed with your enemies, thus providing yet another ten episodes of you and him fighting.**

**Tsukasa:** Arg… Faiz’s World… Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{Gunfight ensues}

**Tsukasa: Why are you randomly attacking me?**

**Kusaka: Riders should beat each other up, right?**

**Tsukasa: … Just like with the Hoppers…**

* * *

{Meanwhile, at Castle Doran, The Beetle Fangire breaks into the throne room with Wataru inside}

 **Beetle:** Hey! Mind if I steal your throne?

 **Wataru:** Uh… No! Henshin!

{Another fight ensues}

{To Be Continued}


	5. Breaking Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wataru is dethroned rather easily and both Yuusuke and Tsukasa must work to get him back in the throne.

{Back with the Kiva Vs. Beetle fight, Bishop comes in}

**Bishop:** DAMN IT! I JUST CLEANED THIS PLACE UP!

**Beetle:** Just let this punk hand over the Kiva Armor!

**Wataru: This armor is the proof of my curs- I mean the proof of a King!**

**Beetle:** Don’t lie to yourself! You only hide behind that mask because of your self-esteem issues, not because you act as King! If you won’t act like a King, _I_ will!

{Ass kicking continues as the other monsters come in}

**Garulu:** Wataru!

**Wataru: Garulu, lend me your strength!**

**Garulu:** Uh… No.

**Wataru: Wait, what?**

**Basshaa:** Yeah, I gotta agree with Garulu on this one. You are kind of a pussy. I mean, if this guy is taking that much effort in trying to _become_ King, imagine what he’d be like if he _was_ King.

**Wataru: What am I paying you people for!?**

**Dogga:** Nothing. You don’t pay. At all. You barely use us, let alone recognize us.

**Garulu:** Yeah, hate to break it to you, kid, but this guy has our votes. Right, Bishop?

**Bishop:** Depends… What is your first action as King, Random Fangire that just broke in, killed dozens of maids, and attacked the future King?

**Beetle:** Erm… More hoes and wine?

**Bishop:** All the time?

**Beetle:** Erm… Yeah?

**Bishop:** Yeah, let him take the throne.

**Wataru: YOU PIECES OF SHI-**

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Back at the stadium with Decade and Kaixa}

**Kusaka: Arg… Is this all the weapons you have without relying on other Rider Cards? Just Blast and Slash?**

**Tsukasa:** **Yep. Just a simple blast and slash. It’s gonna work for Sentai, trust me.**

**Kusaka: Dude, you gotta learn how to stand on your own without having to steal other people’s stuff.**

**Tsukasa: Like you? ** 

**Kusaka: Look, I only used Faiz’s and Delta’s belts, like, once!**

**Tsukasa: And your attempt to steal my belt?**

**Kusaka: … Screw this, I’m out of here.**

**Tsukasa: Wait! I just pulled this card out of my ass!**

**ATTACK RIDE: ILLUSION!**

{Decade splits into six Decades}

**Kusaka: Now you’re ripping off Naruto!**

**Tsukasa: I was more or less ripping off Knight and OOO, but yeah, Naruto’s fine.**

**Kusaka: Yeah, screw this.**

{Kusaka leaves and Tsukasa returns to Kiva’s World}

**Tsukasa: What was that about?**

**Narutaki:** Behold! That is your purpose, Decade! For you are the Destroyer of Riders and Worlds! Your very presence will bring forth destruction!

{Kivara bites his finger, causing him to… yeah.}

**Tsukasa: Can you explain it to me as if I had no idea what you’re on about?**

**Narutaki:** Nope. Now, if you excuse me… I-

{Suddenly, Andy Samberg from _The Lonely Island_ comes in}

 **Andy Samberg:** No. No no no no no no. Stop this. I know where you’re going at, and really, even _I_ think the joke’s getting stale.

 **Narutaki:** Well… What am I going to do now?

 **Andy Samberg:** I dunno! Cut to a guy being useless?

* * *

{le castle... Beetle now sits in his throne while Wataru is out of his Kiva armor. Kivat flies around.}

**Kybat:** So, because this guy waltzed in and kicked Wataru’s ass, you all randomly decided that he’d be the King.

**Bishop:** He promised us hoes and wine!

**Kybat:** And his first order of business is to abolish that law we were trying to pass about Humans and Fangires being together.

**Garulu:** Well, it was a kind of hard law to enforce…

**Kybat:** Oh good, the lazy excuse. Any other reason why we should randomly follow this guy?

**Beetle:** Well… I _was_ King at one point… But then I was exiled…

**Kybat:** You were exiled… by your own people… Okay, your story is like Swiss cheese by this point.

**Beetle:** I liked transformation trinkets better when they _weren't_ talkative!

{He casts a magic spell… thing… to not only shut up Kivat, but also brainwash him into obeying him}

**Beetle:** Alright, next order of business is to casually murder the previous king, as per Klingon tradition… I mean Fangire tradition.

**Bishop:** Okay, guess I’ll do it since I used to be a villain and all that.

{goes over to kill Wataru, but Yuusuke comes in}

 **Yuusuke:** WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?

**Garulu:** Dude, the King demanded Ser Bishop to bring him his head.

**Yuusuke:** The King… is Wataru! **HENSHIN!**

{Transforms into Kuuga and runs to attack them… only to be beaten up by the Fangires}

**Yuusuke: OH GOD EVERYTHING HURTS!**

{Wataru runs off}

* * *

{Later, Wataru is by the docks, as Yuusuke comes to him via motorcycle, pretty beaten up}

 **Yuusuke:** Hey, Wataru, I got horribly beaten up and nearly killed, and they all want your head, but do you wanna come back to the castle with me?

 **Wataru:** WHAT!? NO! That’s a death wish you got!

 **Yuusuke:** That King out there is going to piss all over your hard work trying to maintain peace between the Humans and Fangires! Do you want that for a King?

 **Wataru:** Apparently everyone else does!

 **Yuusuke:** But… I don’t.

 **Wataru:** Why do you wish to help me? I used to be a mistake with the title of prince… Now I’m just a mistake.

 **Yuusuke:** No. You’re not. You’re a miracle. And miracles deserve to be protected.

 **Wataru:** QUIT IT WITH THE SAPPY SPEECHES! I’M A MONSTER AND I WILL PROVE IT!

{Suddenly, he uses his Fangire powers to drain Yuusuke of his Life Energy… But then he stops}

 **Yuusuke:** OOOOOOW! God! I’m okay.

 **Wataru:** Okay!? I just sunk metaphysical fangs into your neck and tried to drain your very life!

 **Yuusuke:** I’m good. It’s not like you drained my blood or anything. Now I’ll retrieve Kivat and-

{He passes out.}

* * *

{le photo studio, now with Wataru in there… for some reason. Did he even know where they were?}

 **Natsumi:** You nearly killed Yuusuke!?

 **Eijiro:** Wonder if the prince likes chocolate.

 **Natsumi:** Granddad! He just went through a traumatic experience! And attacked Yuusuke!

 **Tsukasa:** It’d be his comfort food.

 **Wataru:** No thanks… I don’t want anything.

 **Tsukasa:** You sure? You tried to feed on Yuusuke.

 **Wataru:** But… I didn’t-

 **Tsukasa:** You are half Human, half Fangire. The Fangire part of you wants to feed. It’s only natural to give into those urges.

 **Natsumi:** Uh, Tsukasa, I’m not sure reminding Wataru of his bloodline is a good idea.

 **Wataru:** No… I know what he means. Anytime I’m with someone… I… want to eat them. I can’t be with humans because of that… I’m told that I’d be King one day… But how could I lead my people to not eat humans when I have that craving to eat them myself!?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, tell you what: I’ll kill you the next time you decide to eat someone. How’s that?

 **Natsumi:** Okay, that does it.

{Laughing-Thumb-Jabbing ensues}

* * *

{Back at the castle, Yuusuke got himself beaten up… Again}

 **Yuusuke:** Why… Why am I defeated so easily?

**Basshaa:** Look at this idiot! Thinking he could take us on after we totally creamed his ass last time.

**Beetle:** Kill him and be done with it. He’s becoming a nuisance.

**Dogga:** WAIT! YOU’RE REALLY GONNA ABOLISH THAT LAW!?

**Beetle:** Yeah. We’ve been through this. I’m abolishing the law.

**Garulu:** If we start randomly attacking humans again, this world will be plunged into ~~darkness~~ chaos!

**Beetle:** SERIOUSLY!? We just talked about me abolishing that law! NOW SUDDENLY YOU’RE OBJECTING TO IT!? Sorry, I think you guys need to go.

{He grabs Dogga and absorbs him into his armor, then does the same for Basshaa}

**Basshaa:** BUT I DIDN’T DO ANYTHIIIIIIIIING!!!

**Garulu:** Wait! WHY ARE YOU ABSORBING US!?

**Beetle:** BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! BEGONE!

{Absorbs Garulu as well}

* * *

{Tsukasa waltzes in the Castle and plays his violin}

**Bishop:** Hey, you looked at me funny! LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET’S BATTLE!

**Tsukasa:** Hah.You won’t live ten seconds. Henshin.

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{And ten seconds later…}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DE-DE- DE-DECADE!**

**Tsukasa: The Riders send their regards!**

{He stabs Bishop and he dies.}

* * *

{cut to two guys and a girl on the couch. The girl screams out “NOOOOOOOO!” in a high-pitched voice as one of the other guys eats his popcorn and the third guy laughs his ass off as he films all this}

* * *

**Beetle:** I never really liked that guy. Or any of those other guys. Traitorous backstabbing wastes of space, let me tell you.

**Tsukasa:** **So, you must be the new King?**

**Beetle:** I’m not interested in the throne. I’m only sitting in it because no one else wanted to.

**Tsukasa: And abolishing the Human-Fangire equality law?**

**Beetle:** Fangires feast on Humans. Humans fear Fangires. Such a bond can never exist.

**Tsukasa: And Riders? Where do _they_ factor in the circle of life?**

**Beetle:** They play the same role as everyone else… They kill each other!

{The two begin to fight, then get thrown out of the building.}

**Tsukasa: Then they are all the same beings! They’re no different from each other!**

**Beetle:** Fool! There's _always_ a difference! Behold my status as King! HENSHIN!

{Transforms into Kiva Dogabaki form…}

**Beetle: See, I give a crap about the additional forms that the Fangires have provided for me!**

{Drags the Dogga Hammer and beats Decade with it, because… it’s a giant purple hammer that’s shaped like a fist, that thing’s gonna hurt. It hurts so bad that they’re knocked underground, where Yuusuke and Wataru are.}

**Tsukasa: Wataru, run! This guy is pulling out a form that the original show ignored!**

**Beetle: Shut up.**

{He knocks Tsukasa aside, then looks to Wataru}

**Beetle: I’ll give you one final chance. Drain this useless human of his Life Energy. Show me that you reject your humanity, Wataru!**

{Wataru gets up… considers it… then turns to Beetle.}

 **Wataru:** No.

**Beetle: What do you mean, no?**

**Wataru:** He’s my friend! He may be obnoxious and annoying… sometimes he’s just an idiot, but he doesn’t give up! He wants my smile! Yuusuke… I… I’m sorry for trying to eat you… I… I was just afraid that my Fangire side would take over…

**Beetle: It _will_ take over! It’s only a matter of time before that stain that human waste left in you disappears!**

**Wataru:** Don’t you say that… [DON’T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!!!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s)

{Wataru runs to the Beetle Fangire, takes the Dogga Hammer, and whacks him with it}

 **Wataru:** That ‘stain’ in me is proof that Fangires and Humans can live together!

**Beetle: Impossible! That dream will never exist! NEVER!**

{Beetle tries to slash at Wataru with the Garulu Saber, only for the blade to be grabbed by a costumed hand… Yuusuke’s, as he snatched it and transforms into Titan form}

**Yuusuke: It has now. Wataru and I have shown it!**

{He slashes at Beetle}

**Beetle: No… The Fangires have rejected that idea before! What makes you think they’ll accept the ideal now!?**

**Tsukasa: Because if the King believes… so will his people! That… is what a King is!**

**ATTACK RIDE: BLAST!**

{Tsukasa fires at Beetle, which knocks off Kivat and demorphs Beetle}

**Kybat:** Arg! Thank you! I'm free from his control! Though to be fair, he’s the only rational guy here…

**Wataru:** Kivat! Come! It’s time to show this Fangire the power of the mixed bloodline!

**Kybat:** Huh, you’ve stopped being emo. Nice! Alright… **KIVATTE… IKUZE! GABU!**

**Wataru:** HENSHIN!

{He transforms into Kiva. Soon, the three fight the Beetle Fangire. Kuuga slashed at him with his Titan Sword, then Wataru punched him with his fists. The two laid down the assault on him. Soon, it was Decade’s turn as he shoved him into a wall and pins him}

**Tsukasa: Can’t you see he’s just trying to fulfill a dream his father lost? A dream that _you_ lost?**

**Beetle:** Who are you to decide who will rule over the Fangires? Identify yourself, outsider!

**Tsukasa: I’m just a passing-through Kamen Rider… REMEMBER THAT!**

{He then pushes the Beetle in the path of Yuusuke as he pulls the Calamity Titan finisher on him. But…}

**Beetle:** No… I’m… I’m not done yet!!!

{He flies up, taking Yuusuke with him. The two Riders run out and see the Beetle Fangire landing on Castle Doran.}

**Beetle:** DRAGON! LEND ME YOUR POWER!

**Dragon:** No! I’m already lending it to Haruto!

**Beetle:** Wrong Dragon!

**Dragon:** Oh… Well then.

{Tsukasa gains new cards}

**Tsukasa: Sweet. Hey, Wataru, mind if I poke your back, twist your body, and use you like a bow?**

**Wataru: What?**

**Tsukasa: Okay, thanks!**

**FINAL FORM RIDE: KI- KI-KI-KIVA!**

{He pokes his back and Wataru does the splits. No, I’m dead serious.}

**Tsukasa: Alright!**

{He shoots the arrow at Beetle, which knocks him and Yuusuke off of the Doran. Wataru changes back, then looks to Tsukasa}

**Wataru: Let’s go, Tsukasa.**

**Tsukasa: Right!**

**Kybat: WAKE UP!**

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DE-DE- DE-DECADE!**

{The two pull off their Rider Kicks on the Beetle Fangire. Soon after he does that, Wataru gets Yuusuke in his arms.}

**Wataru: Gotcha!**

{The group lands and they demorph}

 **Yuusuke:** You did a good job, King.

 **Wataru:** I wouldn’t have been able to find the courage without your help, Yuusuke.

{Wataru smiles}

 **Yuusuke:** ( _I… became useful…_ )

{Yuusuke smiles too}

* * *

{Back at the abandoned house, Tsukasa finds the injured Beetle Fangire demorph into Random Dude.}

 **Beetle Dude:** Will… Will the kid be a good King?

 **Tsukasa:** He will. Is that why you overthrew your own son? So that he could prove his worth?

 **Beetle Dude:** So… you know…

 **Tsukasa:** I’ve known all along. But yes. He will make a good King. Gone is his cursed past. Now he will show his people a new world.

 **Beetle Dude:** I’m… glad… I used to follow a King once… He promised a unified world... Say… He… looks sort of like you… Could it be…

 **Tsukasa:** Sssshhhh… No foreshadowing… only violin…

{Tsukasa gets out his violin and plays it. Beetle Dude dies just as Wataru entered the room.}

 **Wataru:** I was born here, y’know… This is where it all began. Peace between Humans and Fangires can finally begi- hey, what the heck is this?

{He picks up a piece of shattered Fangire glass and looks at Tsukasa}

* * *

{At the photo studio…}

 **Yuusuke:** I can’t believe you got us banished from Kiva’s World!

 **Natsumi:** Well, we would have gotten banned an episode ago. I mean, Tsukasa killed a few royal guards, talked about killing Wataru right in front of him, and got him to partake in not only regicide but also patricide. It’s only natural for the King to tell us to GTFO.

 **Tsukasa:** Besides, telling from the messed up photos, this world rejects me as much as I reject it. Sorry, but emo vampires aren’t my thing.

 **Yuusuke:** But Wataru was just moving past that!

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, too little too late. Hopefully we get to a fun world like Agito’s World.

 **Yuusuke:** Well, since Wataru also kicked me out, I’m coming with you.

 **Tsukasa:** Wait… you’re… OH OVERLORD NO!

{Donald Duck comes in}

 **Donald Duck:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! MEDDLING! YOU’RE MEDDLING! WAAAAAAAAAAAAK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

{Donald’s head explodes}

 **Natsumi:** Hey, Granddad, you got yourself a duck to cook! You can drop that subplot about cooking the chicken that you were planning to do!

 **Eijiro:** Oh damn it! Well… I guess duck and beer could suffice.

{Then Kivara comes in}

 **Kivara:** Hey! Mind if I just randomly come in!?

{She startles everyone, and causes the painting to come down, revealing a red Chinese Dragon}

 **Tsukasa:** OH YEAH! Natsumi, give me my score sheet! I’m gonna set the world record for killing the most Riders!

 **Natsumi:** Wh-what?

 **Tsukasa:** It’s Ryuki’s World! Thirteen Riders, fighting to the death, all for a wish… It’s practically the best place to practice my Rider fighting skills.

 **Natsumi:** Y-yeah… ( _Tsukasa… Are you really going to be the man I saw in my dream?_ )

{To Be Continued}


	6. Tsukasa Kadoya: Ace Attorney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa enters the World of Ryuki and has to fight to prove Natsumi's innocence, because the judicial system is pretty screwed up, even by Ace Attorney standards.

{Our episode begins with Natsumi talking with an editor-in-chief of a newspaper company}

 **Momoi:** Hi there! I bet you want to know all about the Kamen Riders in this world!

{She then dies just as a guy comes in}

 **Ren: ZOMG!** MOMOI’S DEAD!

{He sees that Natsumi holds in her hand an _unbloodied_ fork}

 **Ren:** YOU DID THIS, DIDN’T YOU!

 **Natsumi:** What? No I didn’t!

 **Ren:** YOU MUST BE ARRESTED FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

 **Natsumi:** This is bullshi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Back at the Photo Studio}

 **Eijiro:** You know, thanks to that duck’s head exploding one episode ago, I now have dinner... but no subplot!

**Kivara:** Well, we could always be off-screen for the rest of this arc, I mean, what’s the most useful thing any of us can do right now?

**Yuusuke:** Hey, aren’t you the bat that randomly teleported me to Kiva’s World?

**Kivara:** Um... No... That... was my twin sister... Kiva...bey... Yeah. Kivabey.

**Eijiro:** Come along, Kivara, let’s be pointless characters in another room while the plot kicks into gear.

**Kivara:** Alrighty then!

{The two leave as Tsukasa enters dressed as an attorney}

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, I’m completely sure this is Ryuki’s world, not Phoenix Wright’s world.

 **Yuusuke:** Huh? What’s with the goofy getup?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, this. Yeah, every time I visit a world, I gain a new suit or something.

 **Yuusuke:** Oh, well maybe you became a lawyer to better blend in with this world. Like how you became a police officer in my world.

 **Tsukasa:** True. One of the riders in the show _was_ an attorney. Come along, Yuusuke. The sooner we get to picking off the riders, the more kills I can put on my score.

{Suddenly, the TV turns on to the News Channel}

 **News Reporter:** This just in, the editor-in-chief of the ATASHI Journal, Momoi Reiko, was found killed in the editing area. Police have arrested Hikari Natsumi, who is suspected to be her killer based on the sole evidence of her being in the same room as her at the time of her death and of her holding a fork that doesn’t even have blood on it. The suspect has obviously denied that she killed Momoi, but who cares about what the accused has to say, am I right?

 **Tsukasa:** She couldn’t go five episodes without her being the damsel in distress, can she?

* * *

{Meanwhile, Natsumi is in the courtroom, which is oddly darkened and only has a table, the judge’s stand, a TV screen, a disembodied voice, and a guy standing creepily next to Natsumi.}

 **Judge:** Your judgement will be decided by whoever wins this Rider War.

 **Natsumi:** Wait, what?

 **Judge:** It’s simple. Riders each fight for their opinions. It’s used to solve many disputes.

* * *

{Cutaway to a battle done a while ago}

**Alternative Zero: My Little Pony is the best show ever!**

{He gets kicked into Genocider’s stomach by Ouja}

**Ouja: No! My Little Pony is horrible!**

{Suddenly, Ouja gets punched by an orange rocket}

**Fourze: No it isn't! It teaches the great morals of friendship!**

* * *

**Judge:** And we got lazy and decided to have that be our judicial system. So yeah, our attorneys no longer have to learn how to do stuff like cross-examine or object... but rather learn how to kick people’s asses.

 **Guy standing next to Natsumi:** You gotta admit, that’s pretty badass.

 **Judge:** We also have people who were related to the incident fighting as well. Regardless on if they know how to fight or not. We have weird standards when we pick Riders.

 **Natsumi:** So why don’t you have me be a rider and fight for my own innocence?

 **Judge:** A woman being a Kamen Rider? HAH! That’ll be the day.

 **Natsumi:** What about Femme? I can see her with the other riders.

 **Judge:** Oh, Femme? That’s just the donut seller from down the street.

 **Natsumi:** How is he more related than I am?

 **Judge:** Because he promised me all the donuts I can eat if he fought in this war.

 **Natsumi:** This doesn’t make sense! Why base my judgement on whatever the winner says?

 **Judge:** What did you expect? They arrested you because you had an unbloodied fork in your hand right as Momoi dropped dead! Don’t worry, this system is the most fair and balanced of any judicial system.

 **Natsumi:** Then why do you have Odin in this? The Rider who could kick everyone’s ass in the matter of five seconds?

 **Judge:** Because shut up.

* * *

{Meanwhile, in a battlefield}

**Zolda: The pieces of evidence from the police proves that she’s guilty! All two of them!**

{shoots at Tiger and knocks him out}

**Scissors: Wait! I surrender!**

{Verde stops attacking Scissors... then Volcancer gets at him}

**Scissors: SUCKER!**

{Then Kamen Rider Knight comes in}

* * *

{Back in the courtroom}

 **Natsumi:** This concept is completely stupid! Can we have a freaking lawyer please?

* * *

{Natsumi gets one in another room}

 **Natsumi:** Goddamn it.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, out of the two jerkasses that are lawyers, you sure lucked out with me.

 **Yuusuke:** So, Natsumi, what happened in there that caused you to get arrested?

 **Natsumi:** I was about to have cake and talk with Momoi when suddenly she dropped dead and some asshole came in and got me arrested for no damn reason.

 **Shinji:** Asshole?

{Tsukasa immediately notices him}

 **Tsukasa:** And who the heck are you?

 **Shinji:** Oh, I’m Tatsumi Shinji. I was an employee of Momoi’s before she died.

 **Tsukasa:** So, you must be Ryuki then.

 **Shinji:** How do you know that?

 **Tsukasa:** It was either that or a total wimp who pilots his mother.

{Everyone in the room looked at Tsukasa weirdly}

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, it happens!

* * *

{Tsukasa, Shinji, and Yuusuke all walk across the park}

 **Shinji:** So, you take photos too?

 **Tsukasa:** Yes. I do. But they’re messed up...

{Tsukasa hands Shinji the photos he took in Kiva’s World}

 **Shinji:** I don’t think so. They look pretty cool. Did you use Photoshop for these?

 **Tsukasa:** No. They do that on their own.

 **Shinji:** Oh. So special chemicals then?

 **Tsukasa:** I wish. But no. So, to change topics, how’s being a Rider here?

 **Shinji:** To tell you the truth... I don’t think I can fight.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, so you _are_ that Shinji.

 **Shinji:** No. I mean... Natsumi doesn’t seem to be culprit material. Tsukasa, she said earlier before that an asshole got her arrested. Maybe... Maybe that asshole was the culprit and accused Natsumi to cover his tracks.

 **Tsukasa:** Ah. That makes sense. Case 1-1: The First Turnabout. All I gotta do is point out the contradictions and he’ll throw his toupee.

 **Shinji:** What are you talking about?

 **Yuusuke:** He’s Tsukasa. Half the stuff he says makes no sense.

{They soon hear sounds of battle going on in the reflective surface of the rear window}

 **Tsukasa:** Crap! I’m missing a battle! Hang on! I’m gonna score me some kills!

{Tsukasa rushes over to the mirror, transforms, and jumps into it}

* * *

{Meanwhile, in said battle}

**Scissors: Okay! Okay! She’s innocent!**

**Ren: I have no interest in the verdict...**

**Scissors: WHAT!? Then why did you join!?**

** FINAL VENT! **

{Ren then straight up kills Scissors... No, he’s never seen again after this and he went up in an explosion. Oh, and he gains his cards}

**Ren: Sweet.**

{Tsukasa then comes in}

**Tsukasa: Aaaaaw, you killed Scissors? He was like, the best jobber I could have gotten next to Beast! Now who will be my first kill? Guess you’ll do.**

{The two then get fired at by Zolda}

**Zolda: SHE’S GUILTY! GUUUUUUUUUUILTY!!!!!**

{He fires his giant ass missiles at the two, though the recoil knocks him off the pile of giant cylinder blocks and to his death. Tsukasa then leaves the Mirror World and demorphs}

* * *

{Back to reality}

 **Yuusuke:** You did it!

 **Tsukasa:** Did what? All I did was get my ass kicked!

 **Yuusuke:** If you continue to win like that, you can decree Natsumi as innocent!

 **Tsukasa:** I wasn’t winning!

 **Yuusuke:** Oh! Maybe the true culprit is a rider and you’re trying to rout him out! Is that it?

 **Tsukasa:** No! I just want to kill Riders! That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Fight until there’s one left?

 **Yuusuke:** Oh... Well challenge all the riders then!

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, Shinji, you wanna fight?

 **Shinji:** Not really.

 **Tsukasa:** Fine. I’ll kill you last. Who else can I kill until that point?

* * *

{Tsukasa, Yuusuke, and Shinji are all back at the ATASHI Journal}

 **Kamata:** My name is Kamata, the editor-in-chief replacing Momoi.

 **Tsukasa:** And my name is Tsukasa, Natsumi’s defence attorney. I’d like to ask you about what happened to Momoi.

 **Kamata:** Well... that culprit went over to talk with Momoi about the Riders. From there, Momoi died from a cut to the throat. We found her killer with the fork.

 **Tsukasa:** A fork that can’t cut... and was unbloodied.

 **Kamata:** Exactly.

 **Shinji:** But nobody was there to witness the murder! How do you know about it?

 **Kamata:** I only know about it from the guy who called the police on her.

 **Tsukasa:** Aaaand... where were you?

 **Kamata:** I’ll show you.

* * *

{le scene of le crime}

 **Kamata:** I was over there, at the park outside, drinking my coffee... Had I known Momoi would suffer a horrible fate...

 **Shinji:** You said that someone told you that Natsumi killed her... Who was it?

 **Kamata:** It was Haguro Ren. He’s-

 **Tsukasa:** Kamen Rider Knight.

 **Kamata:** How did you-

 **Tsukasa:** Lucky guess.

 **Kamata:** Soo... Battle time?

{He shows Tsukasa the Abyss Deck}

 **Tsukasa:** OH HELL YEAH!

{The two get their belts ready.

 **Kamata and Tsukasa:** Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{The two transform and enter the mirror world}

* * *

**Kamata: There is no Rider who can beat me.**

**Tsukasa: Even Odin?**

**Kamata: Who?**

{Tsukasa then shoots at Kamata, which hits him}

**Kamata: Ow! I expected that kind of cowardice from Scissors!**

**Tsukasa: Even I’m full of tricks.**

**Kamata: Well, I’m a new Rider made just for this show. Time for me to show you my tricks.**

{He draws a card and puts it in}

** SWORD VENT **

{He then slashes at Tsukasa, knocking him against the wall. He then plays another card}

** ADVENT **

{A couple of shark monsters gang up on Tsukasa and attack him. He then plays one more card}

** STRIKE VENT **

{He gets a shark-head that doubles as a high-powered Super Soaker... and does little damage to Tsukasa, but gets him wet.}

**Tsukasa: Alright, you had your shilling, now it’s time to die!**

{He then gets attacked by Imperer and his pack of Gigazelles}

**Tsukasa: OH COME ON!**

**Kamata: I await our next duel, Decade.**

{He leaves}

* * *

{At Ren’s house}

 **Yuusuke:** I’m here to ask you why you were at the scene of the crime.

 **Ren:** I went to see Momoi.

 **Yuusuke:** But you two haven’t seen each other in years... Or so I heard from Shinji.

 **Ren:** Shinji... He and I made a great team... But then-

{Just then, the two see Tsukasa fighting the Gigazelles. Ren takes out his deck}

 **Shinji:** So... you _are_ a Rider. It all makes sense now. You left for a big magazine company. There was no reason for you to visit the ATASHI Journal without something sneaky going on... You did it, didn’t you?

 **Ren:** I- what?

 **Shinji:** Shut up and fight me!

{Shinji points his deck to the mirror, and Ren does the same}

 **Shinji and Ren:** Henshin!

{The two transform and enter the Mirror World}

 **Yuusuke:** Hm... I wonder... **HENSHIN!**

{He transforms into Kuuga}

**Yuusuke: Sha!**

{Tries to enter the Mirror World... only to bump backwards.}

**Yuusuke: Ow... What is the purpose of me being in this world?**

* * *

{Ryuki and Knight fight}

**Shinji: Admit it! You killed Momoi and joined the battle to ensure Natsumi’s guilt!**

{Shinji repeatedly punches Ren, to no avail. Before he could land another punch, Imperer gets knocked into him.}

**Tsukasa: COME TO PAPA!**

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DE-DE- DE-DECADE!**

{He Rider Kicks Imperer}

**Tiger: BROTHER, NOOOOOOO!**

**Tsukasa: No. We’re so not doing that.**

**Tiger: Aaaaaaw!**

{He leaves the place}

**Tsukasa: As for you, Ren. It’s time for me to show off a cool power! Henshin!**

**KAMEN RIDE: KIVA!**

{He transforms into Kamen Rider Kiva}

**Shinji: He changed forms!**

**Tsukasa: No shit, Sherlock!**

{He then proceeds to fight Ren}

**Ren: Who are you? My records say nothing about some barcoded, green-eyed Rider who could transform into a completely different Rider!**

**Tsukasa: Really? Because I know everything about you, Shinji, and eleven other Riders!**

{Tsukasa then Form Rides into the other Kiva forms and kicks Ren’s ass... Until he pulls out Trick Vent... And then that’s where Tsukasa fumbles}

**FORM RIDE: KIVA! BASSHAA!**

{He transforms into Basshaa’s form... and does nothing but let Ren kick his ass. It seems that Basshaa was useless even when used by Tsukasa. He goes back to his Decade form}

**Tsukasa: Oh hey, an excuse for me to use that card I used last episode!**

**ATTACK RIDE: ILLUSION!**

{Tsukasa splits into four Tsukasas and proceed to fight Ren. He manages to get the upper hand.}

**Tsukasa: Now... let us count up your crimes!**

**Shinji: Wait, we’re out of time for this episode! **

**Tsukasa: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-**

{To be continued}


	7. Turnabout Riders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji has solemnly believed that Ren has murdered Momoi! Narutaki offers Natsumi a way out! Kamata hides a dark secret! And Tsukasa must fight for his life! It all happens in today's episode! There's gonna be lots of fanservice! (No. Not really. Just the EVA shout out and that's it.)

 

**Tsukasa: Okay, it's the next episode... Now, die!**

{Shinji steps in between Tsukasa and Ren}

**Shinji: Wait! I should be the one who kills him!**

**Tsukasa: You? Kill Ren? HAH! Aren't you supposed to be _against_ fighting?**

**Shinji: That was before Ren showed me that humans are selfish and alone... He killed Momoi... so I will kill him in revenge.**

**Tsukasa: Do you have any proof he killed Momoi?**

**Shinji: He pinned the blame on Natsumi. That's enough of a reason for me.**

**Tsukasa: Any motive? He has to have some motive if he's desperate to shift the blame.**

**Ren: Uh, if you could let me explain for a few minutes-**

**Shinji: Kamen Riders don't explain. They just fight... and fight... and fight... Riders should beat each other up, right?**

**Tsukasa: It can't be...**

{The three then get shot at by Kamata}

**Kamata: Hey, guys, can the sentimental moment end? We're kind of in a trial here.**

{He puts in a card}

** STRIKE VENT! **

{Suddenly, out of nowhere, a shark with fricking machine guns attached to its eyes comes and fires at the group... even though it's established that Strike Vent gives him a glorified super soaker. The shi-}

 

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

 

* * *

{Yuusuke was outside with a photo of Shinji and Ren... Then the three riders get knocked out of the Mirror World}

 **Yuusuke:** Huh?

 **Tsukasa:** I'm calling hax! That guy should not be able to get a giant CGI monster out of just two Monsters of the Week!

 **Yuusuke:** So you guys didn't come to a conclusion?

 **Tsukasa, Shinji, and Ren:** No shit, Sherlock!

 **Tsukasa:** I wasn't even trying to reach a conclusion! I just wanted to murder a Rider!

 **Shinji:** See what I mean? Riders only want to kill... Nothing ever changes... Everyone should just die...

 **Tsukasa:** Overlord be damned if you become _that_ Shinji right now! Rebuild 2.0 Shinji, maybe, but _not_ End of Eva Shinji!

{Ren, meanwhile, sneaks off}

 **Shinji:** That Shinji? What are you even talking about? Stop comparing me to another person I don't even know like I'm supposed to fulfill a secret legacy that I don't know about! I'm my own damn person!

 

* * *

{Meanwhile, Ren is stumbling from the injuries he gained from the Shark Zord with Machine Guns (aka Abyssodon), soon he hears the Mirror World.}

**Odin: Sup.**

**Ren:** Finally... I found you!

 

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Eijiro:** Here you go! Cooked Raging Duck! Enjoy!

{Eijiro gives Tsukasa, Shinji, and Yuusuke the cooked duck}

 **Shinji:** Ren killed Momoi.

 **Yuusuke:** Not this again.

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, I think he's on to something now that I think about it... He wouldn't have come back to the place he left for any other reason... We just need a motive and we're golden!

 **Yuusuke:** Shinji, you guys used to be a team! Maybe he tried to rekindle the bond you guys shared!

 **Shinji:** Nope. He left us and then came back to kill Momoi. That's the only logical explanation in the whole world.

 **Yuusuke:** _Why_ would he kill Momoi?

 **Shinji:** I don't know! All I know is that he killed Momoi!

 **Tsukasa:** And that's _all_ we know. Hate to break it to you, Shinji, but we need a motive. Though leaving Natsumi to rot in jail would be a nice thing.

 **Yuusuke:** Hey!

 **Shinji:** Oh! That's right! We have to get her out of there!

 **Yuusuke:** So, wanna bust her out?

 **Shinji:** Nope! How about we just blame Ren and set up a trial just for him?

 **Tsukasa:** I like that plan!

 **Yuusuke:** Do you people even listen to yourselves!?

 

* * *

{le jail cell}

 **Natsumi:** Tsukasa... He's obsessed with the World of Ryuki... If he was to fight to kill...

{Cue mandatory flashbacks to the Rider War. Soon, she is whisked away to another world}

 **Natsumi:** Huh? Where am I?

 **Narutaki:** You are right that Tsukasa will only kill the other riders if he remains in Ryuki's World. Though that is the nature of Ryuki's World and every variation of it. He has strayed from his path twice now. That's good... but Ryuki's World will bring out the Destroyer in him. I do not wish for you to be killed when he awakens... That's why I offer you a way out. Come with me, and I will try to fix your world.

{Natsumi considers it, then shakes her head}

 **Natsumi:** No. Tsukasa and I are doing our best to save the nine worlds. We will save our world ourselves.

 **Narutaki:** He'll awaken as the Devil if he keeps on fighting Riders!

 **Natsumi:** That's just a dream I had! Yes, Tsukasa is a massive dick, but his heart's in the right place! He wouldn't destroy the worlds... and he most certainly won't kill the riders!

{Narutaki gives her a sadistic smirk}

 **Narutaki:** He will... He just needs a push. And this world will give him that... Watch.

{Natsumi is then teleported back to his cell}

 **Bailiff:** Hikari Natsumi? You're getting bailed out.

 

* * *

{le interview room}

 **Kamata:** So you think Ren is the culprit?

 **Shinji:** I _know_ so. He's a Rider already, so the trial will be easy. Kamata, we'll deliver judgement upon him together. Just remember that I must land the killing blow.

 **Tsukasa:** Yay! We're teaming up to murder a Rider! What lovely bonding!

 **Natsumi:** Tsukasa...

 **Tsukasa:** So you don't mind this little alliance?

{Kamata shakes his head}

 **Yuusuke:** No... I won't stand for this! It's like you don't know anything about Ren!

 **Shinji:** I know that he killed Momoi!

 **Yuusuke:** And what else?! Why did he leave the ATASHI Journal!? He said you and him made a great team at one point! I wonder if you're the reason why he left.

{Shinji then punches Yuusuke in the face}

 **Shinji:** Shut up! What do you know about Ren!?

 **Yuusuke:** ... More than what _you_ know, that's for sure.

{Shinji leaves in a huff}

 **Tsukasa:** Well, that was fun. Kamata, you wanna talk battle plans in the Mirror World?

 **Kamata:** Sure.

 

* * *

{Meanwhile, Ren is trying to beat the crap out of Odin, but fails miserably}

**Ren: I finally found you! Now give me your cards! **

**Odin: Okay.**

{He blows up and gives Ren his cards. He then promptly gets booted out of the Mirror World. Then Shinji finds him.}

 **Shinji:** I found you, murderer! Now you will pay for your crimes!

{He's about to hit him before Yuusuke intervenes}

 **Yuusuke:** Stop!

{Shinji stops for a brief moment, then notices the card}

 **Shinji:** Time Vent? I thought this card was a myth!

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, what?

 **Ren:** Time Vent... The Advent Card that allows time to repeat itself. With it... With it I would be able to go back in time and talk with Momoi... maybe stop her death...

 **Shinji:** Talk with her? Stop her death? Are you implying you didn't kill her?

 **Ren:** I would never even think of doing that... Momoi summoned me to the ATASHI Journal... She wanted to speak to me about something big... That's why I fought... To gain the Time Vent card... and... maybe... Urgh!

{Ren reels back from the pain he received from Odin and Abyss}

 **Shinji:** But... if you were to use that card... you'd be removed from the Trial!

 **Ren:** If I play my cards right... There won't be a Trial to begin with...

 

* * *

{Meanwhile, right inside the mirror outside where the three were}

**Tsukasa: Shinji will then drag him into here, and that's where you summon your Advent Monsters. I'll bend Yuusuke into a stag beetle and pretend he's my Advent Monster. But remember, Shinji must land the final blow.**

**Kamata: Don't worry. I'll let Shinji kill Ren.**

**Tsukasa: Hypothetical question though... What if Ren wasn't the killer... What if _you_ were?**

**Kamata: Where did you get that idea from?**

**Tsukasa: It's a hunch. If Natsumi didn't kill Momoi and Ren didn't kill her, it thins out the culprits.**

**Kamata: Why would you believe that Ren didn't kill her?**

**Tsukasa: Because Yuusuke believes he doesn't. And my Shonen quote is that I should believe in Yuusuke for he believes in me.**

**Kamata: What kind of logic is that? I was outside having my coffee, and I wasn't a Rider until Momoi died. Unless you believe I have the magic ability to shoot razor wind from my arms, I'm as innocent as Natsumi.**

**Tsukasa: Oh, that's great, because I could believe you could do that, Gary Stu.**

{[Kamata reels back in surprise](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65CPytzP5fE)}

**Kamata: Wha-what did you call me?**

**Tsukasa: You're a Rider custom made for this world. You are able to out power me, Shinji, and Ren with Mirror Monsters that were originally Monsters of the Week, and we're heading to the endgame of this trial. Usually they don't reveal a culprit this late in the story, so one must narrow down the culprits. And who'd be a better culprit than the person with a clean slate and a potential to be anything the writers want? You were a potential culprit from the moment you got out your deck.**

**Kamata: So because of the deck I use, I'm accused of being the culprit? You can't prove anything!**

**Yuusuke:** Uh, hey there!

{The two look at Yuusuke, who is talking to them through the mirror}

 **Yuusuke:** We have a magic card that can take us back in time!

**Kamata:...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-**

** TIME VENT!  **

 

* * *

{Our episode begins with Natsumi talking with an editor-in-chief of a newspaper company}

 **Momoi:** Hi there! I bet you want to know all about the Kamen Riders in this world!

{Suddenly Shinji and Tsukasa jump out of a mirror}

 **Momoi:** WHAT THE-

{Tsukasa then looks to the window where Kamata gets up from his chair and uses his razor wind powered arm to cut through the window, shattering the glass... even though the glass was unshattered... and when Shinji tackled Momoi, the wind blade flew to the couch and ripped it... Wait, how did that not decapitate Momoi before? No. I'm not stopping the narration. How the **** was this possible? It broke through glass and had enough razor wind to cut a couch, yet when she died, it was like a tiny cut to the neck. How is that possible!?}

{Anyways, Tsukasa leaves and Ren comes in}

 **Ren:** What the heck happened!? Wait... Shinji?

 **Shinji:** Ren...

 **Momoi:** Oh, great. Now I can share the news with _both_ of you in the know! Ren, I want you to come back.

 **Shinji:** What!?

 **Momoi:** I was the one who suggested to Ren that he'd leave our team for a while.

 **Ren:** Yes... I... I was jealous of your photos. I felt that no matter what I wrote, your photos would be a thousand times better than my own articles... It didn't help that I was hitting burnout in an attempt to one up you. Momoi suggested to me that I should leave to another company to blow off steam. I lost sight of what was important, Shinji... We were a good team... The two of us make a single article writer. I can't write my articles as well without your photos... I need you... partner.

 **Shinji:** Ren... Ren... I'm... I'm...

{Shinji freezes for a bit, trying not to cry}

 **Ren:** Shinji?

 **Shinji:** (I'm sorry... for what I did to you... I know you won't understand if I apologized... But... at least let me make amends...) I'm so happy!

{Shinji cries}

 **Ren:** Shinji, stop...

{He chuckles}

 **Ren:** You're embarrassing yourself...

{Shinji stops crying and smiles}

 

* * *

{Outside of the ATASHI Journal}

 **Kamata:** Welp, my work is done. Hope they blame someone else for the murder.

 **Tsukasa:** Sup, Gary!

 **Kamata:** Aaaaand you are?

 **Tsukasa:** What neat power was that? That clearly isn't human. You must be a monster or something... I'm guessing Phantom. Am I right? If I am, just do the "the human, Kamata, died, giving birth to the Phantom" speech like you Phantoms usually do, it'd be a real treat!

 **Kamata:** What are you talking about?

 **Tsukasa:** Or maybe you're an U-

{He gets tackled from behind by the Future Kamata}

 **Tsukasa:** How typical of you to sneak in the Time Vent with us... Dunno how you did that, but cool trick.

 **Future!Kamata:** Yes, it was me all along, Austin! I snuck into this world, but Momoi was suspicious and I killed her to shut her up! Or at least I _would_ have if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

{Suddenly, another Donald Duck comes in}

 **Donald Duck:** WAAAAAAAAAK! YOU WERE MEDDLING!? WAAAAAAK! MEDDLING IS BAD! BAAAAAAK!

{Donald's head explodes}

 **Past!Kamata:** What is going on here? Why is there another me here? And why did that duck just blow up?

 **Future!Kamata:** I'm you from the future! There's no time to explain! Follow me to-

 **Past!Kamata:** OH CHRIST!

{He dissolves and merges with Kamata. Tsukasa looks at what happened, then turns to the audience}

 **Tsukasa:** DO YOU EXPECT ME TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT THE HECK I JUST SAW!? EVEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

{Kamata pulls the Advent Deck out of his ass}

 **Kamata:** Henshin!

{He puts it in his belt that appeared out of nowhere and transforms, then summons his monsters on Tsukasa}

 

* * *

{Back at the ATASHI Journal}

 **Momoi:** I actually have a story for you guys, if you're interested.

 **Ren:** You have my interest.

 **Momoi:** There are inhuman beings that have been entering our world, and I suspect our deputy editor Kamata to be one of them.

 **Ren:** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that interest is gone. Bye bye, crazy lady who I thought was Momoi.

{Ren gets up and tries to leave}

 **Shinji:** Wait!

{Ren stops}

 **Shinji:** What she may say is ludicrous... Even I have doubts in what she says... But... You should believe in her. There are good intentions in her... Just as I know you have good intentions... Ren... Stay. Without your articles, my photos can't fly!

{Ren stares at Shinji}

 **Ren:** Shinji...

{Suddenly, slash fic warning signs blare... And Natsumi wakes up}

 **Natsumi:** Huh? What happened? Why did Tsukasa land on me?

 **Shinji:** Tsukasa? He came with me?

{Shinji then rushes off}

 **Ren:** What's with him?

{Momoi and Natsumi shrug}

 

* * *

{Shinji runs to the beach where Tsukasa is getting his ass handed to by the two Abyssharks.}

**Kamata: This is not the Mirror World... If you lose here, you die!**

**Tsukasa:** But if we don't fight, we can't win!

**Kamata: What kind of logic is that? Do you really think you can fight the strongest Rider here? You admitted it yourself, Tsukasa. I can easily overpower you and Shinji. Therefore, I will decree the verdict, as per Rider Trial tradition. I have passed judgement! It's death!**

{The two monsters knock Shinji and Tsukasa to the ground}

 **Shinji:** What gives you the right to declare our fate?

**Kamata: The fact that I am the remaining Rider of the trial... Though it's interesting to hear the guy who would throw Ren under the bus, no matter what others tell him.**

**Shinji:** It's true... I let myself get angry at Ren. It's human nature to feel anger. But... I shouldn't have done it.

**Kamata: Hmm?**

{[Cue the song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s) as Shinji gets up}

 **Shinji:** I should have believed in Ren, but instead, I mistook his intentions and believed he was murdered Momoi.

**Kamata: How typical for a human to fight out of anger.**

**Shinji:** Humans attack each other out of anger, yes, but with the same hands we use to beat each other with, we can use them to help each other... And help ourselves understand more about each other! We may fight alone, yes, but we fight together as a team! You wish to fight with me, Tsukasa?

 **Tsukasa:** To kill a Rider? Heck yes, I'll fight! Now I'll pass my judgement! You're guilty for the murder of Momoi, Past!Kamata and the attempted murder of me and Shinji! Deletion approved!

**Kamata: Who are you to decide my judgement, especially when you can't beat me? Identify yourself, outsider!**

**Tsukasa:** I'm just a passing through Kamen Rider... Remember that!

 **Tsukasa and Shinji:** HENSHIN!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{The two transform and Tsukasa gains new cards}

 **Tsukasa:** **Shinji! Let's practice our new alliance with some yoga!**

**Shinji: Wait, what?**

{Tsukasa puts in a card}

** FINAL FORM RIDE: RYU- RYU- RYU-RYUKI! **

{Shields appear on Ryuki's shoulders}

 **Tsukasa:** **That's it? Well, that's disappointing.**

**Kamata: My turn...**

{Kamata puts in a card}

** FINAL VENT! **

{The two Sharks jump in the water and emerge as the CGI monster, knocking the two off}

 **Tsukasa:** **Ouch! You mean to tell us that's your Final Vent?**

**Kamata: Yeah! Prepare to meet your judgement!**

**Tsukasa:** **You realize that it's just a glorified Unite Vent, right?**

**Kamata: What?**

**Tsukasa:** **I mean, Takeshi uses it to combine his monsters into Genocider... How the heck did you get a Unite Vent for a Final Vent? Aren't Final Vents supposed to be big climatic finishing moves?**

**Kamata: Sh-Shut up! Okay? It's an awesome Final Vent!**

**Tsukasa:** **Suuuuuuuuuuure it is, Gary.**

{Kamata yells and fires his super soaker at him. Tsukasa pushes Shinji out of the way, causing him to transform into Dragredder}

 **Tsukasa:** **Oh hey, I just needed to give him a tap. Shinji! Take on the horrific excuse that is a CGI monster!**

{Shinji flies over to fight Abyssodon, which he easily defeats.}

 **Tsukasa:** **Hah! Now you should... Wait, you're not going blank... Usually when you defeat a Mirror Monster that's contracted to the rider, they lose their color and stuff...**

**Kamata: Well screw you! I can still fight!**

**Tsukasa:** **Nah... Watch, _this_ is how you do a Final Vent!**

{Tsukasa puts in a card}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE: RYU- RYU- RYU-RYUKI! **

{Tsukasa jumps in the air and does the Dragon Rider Kick}

**Kamata: I will counter with my ultimate jumping attack!**

{And he jumps right into the attack and blows up}

 **Tsukasa:** **Well, that takes care of that.**

{The two demorph and are shocked to discover that Kamata is alive... Well, Shinji was. Tsukasa was more shocked that he bled green. And by shocked I mean amazed}

 **Tsukasa:** HAH! CALLED IT!

{Narutaki then comes out of nowhere}

 **Narutaki:** His name is Category King of Hearts.

 **Tsukasa:** Hi Category King of Hearts!

 **Narutaki:** Okay... to save on a mouthful, he's the Paradoxa Undead.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, didn't some famous J-Pop singer have this guy attack me at some point?

 **Narutaki:** Huh? You must be imagining things. You almost certainly didn't remember Yuki Jojima fighting you in the warehouse and sending the Paradoxa Undead after you. And you most certainly do not remember the Kamen Ride card he gave.

{Tsukasa looks at his Ride Booker and pulls out a Gackt Kamen Ride Card}

 **Tsukasa:** OOOOOH! Nice!

 **Narutaki:** Decade! Focus! This world is just an experiment... To see if the Destroyer in you has awakened. To my surprise, it hasn't. You continue to amaze me, Decade. How long can you keep it up before you begin to destroy? That will be entertaining for me...

{Narutaki laughs and teleports Kamata with him out of Ryuki's World}

 

* * *

{The duo, seemingly unfazed by that random chat from Narutaki, head back to the Journal}

 **Shinji:** So, while my team with Ren is back, I doubt it'd be as good as your team, Tsukasa.

 **Tsukasa:** My team?

{Shinji gives him a photo}

 **Shinji:** Yeah! Look how good you guys look!

 **Tsukasa:** Dude, look at Yuusuke's face! That screams “why am I here?”!

{He gets thumb-jabbed}

 **Natsumi:** How dare you fall on me!

 **Tsukasa:** Ahahahahahahahahaha! Alright, we should head, Natsumi.

 

* * *

**Yuusuke:** What do you mean Ryuki's World is over? We haven't done anything!

 **Tsukasa:** Time travel's confusing, I know. Don't worry, the world with the trains will make more sense of time travel... provided we're not annoyed by the resident comic relief team. Oh, by the way, Eijiro!

{He gives Eijiro, who just came into the room, the headless corpse of Donald Duck from when he confronted Kamata}

 **Tsukasa:** I found a new duck for you to cook when you're done making another one!

 **Eijiro:** Oh, thank you! Just for that, ONTO THE NEXT WORLD!

{Eijiro hits some chains and transports them to Blade's World}

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi... HAVE YOU REALLY BETRAYED US!?

 **Natsumi:** Oh God... This World...

{Natsumi facepalms}

{To Be Continued}


	8. Have You Really Betrayed Us?!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa gets paid big money to go over and beat up the Undead. Meanwhile, Kazuma gets in the most humiliating demotion since George Jetson's umpteenth firing. Yuusuke and Natsumi... do things... Yeah, not really.

{Our foray into this world begins with an Undead attacking people.}

 **BOARD Lady:** There's an Undead attacking. Go over there and fight.

{A couple of people rush out to take on the Undead}

 **Tachibana:** Let's go, Kazuma!

 **Kazuma:** Okay!

{The two go to fight the Buffalo Undead unmorphed. Aaaand they get beaten up}

 **Kazuma:** Why haven't we got approval to transform!?

* * *

{Meanwhile, the President of BOARD is sitting in a Jacuzzi with several women while smoking a cigar}

 **BOARD Employee:** Um, Sir, We have a paper request for you to approve the BOARD System Activation.

 **President Hajime:** Can it wait? I'm gonna do jello shots off Miss December.

{He gets looked at by two women, both looking the same}

 **Miss December:** Which one?

{The two Miss Decembers giggle}

* * *

**Kazuma:** Well, we have to hold them off until-

{Suddenly, they get a transmission}

 **Taiga** : Final Fusion, AUTHORIZED!

 **Kazuma:** Uh, Who's this?

 **Taiga:** Erm, Wrong channel.

{There's static, then someone else speaks}

 **Eiji:** Final Rescue, APPROVED! Explosively suppress it!

 **Tachibana:** WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?

 **BOARD Man:** Hey! Hey! You guys got the approval! Transform now!

 **Kazuma:** ABOUT TIME! HENSHIN!

** TURN UP! **

{He transforms and effortlessly kills the Undead. Meanwhile, Tsukasa is high up above on a bridge}

 **Tsukasa:** So this must be Blade's World, I was expecting it to be a little more... funnier.

{He tries to take a picture}

 **Tsukasa:** Great, is this broken camera gonna fire off the B-Plot for this arc?

{Thumb-Jab}

 **Tsukasa:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ow! What did you do that for?

 **Natsumi:** Because I'm getting sick and tired of the Blade jokes. Next time you quote a line from there, I'll jab ya.

 **Yuusuke:** Okay, explain to a total new guy here what you guys are talking about.

 **Natsumi:** Early on in the show, some of the characters said really serious things that for some reason couldn't be taken seriously.

{Tsukasa looks to Yuusuke}

 **Tsukasa:** Yuusuke, I'LL BEAT YOU TO DEATH!

{Yuusuke's head bobs back in surprise, especially with the face Tsukasa said. Tsukasa simply laughs}

 **BOARD Lady #1:** Hey! Tsukasa! You're not gonna laze around all day on that bridge, are you?

 **Tsukasa:** Uh, what the heck is going on?

 **BOARD Lady #2:** It's time for work!

 **Tsukasa:** Oh shi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{le BOARD}

 **Tsukasa:** So, you're telling me I'm a cook?

 **BOARD Lady #1:** Yes.

 **Tsukasa:** And that pyramid tells us who's ranked higher?

 **BOARD Lady #2:** Yes.

 **Tsukasa:** And there's no Hearts on it becaaaaause...?

 **BOARD Lady #3:** We dunno.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, Chalice always _was_ the odd one out, makes sense if Hearts were left out. Hey, wait, why am I a two?

 **BOARD Ladies:** We dunno,

 **Tsukasa:** Let me guess, our lunch is gonna be based off the ranking caste, isn't it?

{The ladies nod. Then Kazuma passes by him}

 **Kazuma:** Being an Ace kicks all sorts of ass! I got a huge paycheck!

 **Tsukasa:** Well, that settles it. I'm out of here. This world can blow up for all I care.

{Tsukasa tries to walk out, but he gets thumb-jabbed by Natsumi}

 **Tsukasa:** AHAHAHAHA, Ow!

 **Natsumi:** Remember our mission! At least stay here for a little while, You gave Ryuki's World almost no chance!

 **Tsukasa:** I already solved the problem! It's all time travel's fault!

 **BOARD Lady:** Oh hey, Undead attack. Go fight!

 **Tsukasa:** Well, that's my cue. But first, an Ace lunch!

 **BOARD Lady #3:** But Tsukasa, you can't get the Ace Lunch! You can only get the trashiest of lunches!

 **Tsukasa:** And by trashiest you mean manliest, right?

 **Yuusuke:** I think she means-

 **Tsukasa:** I know what she said! I'm off to go get myself promoted.

{Tsukasa leaves}

* * *

{Kazuma and Tachibana both fight the Elephant Undead, Then Mutsuki gets attacked by another Undead}

**Kazuma: Mutsuki!**

{He runs over to fight the Capricorn Undead}

**Tachibana: Hey! Kazuma! Stop trying to save our friend's life and fight the Undead!**

**Kazuma: No way! I have to save my friend!**

**Tachibana: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!?**

**Tsukasa:** Well, might as well get to work. Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{He transforms into Decade and fights off the Elephant Undead}

**Tsukasa: Hey, I wonder how elephants taste when a dragon cooks them. Henshin!**

**KAMEN RIDE: RYUKI!**

{He transforms into Ryuki}

**Tachibana: Who's the new rider? And did he just-**

**Tsukasa: Yes. I changed. You don't hear me remark the same damned revelation whenever someone changes clothes. Now, on to paraphrase a show about a sommelier being a Kamen Rider!**

**Kazuma: Wait, What?**

* * *

{Cut to a television commercial where Kamen Rider G is riding on his motorcycle across the rock quarry, then cuts to a clip of him fighting Shatieeks and then having a sword fight with Delu Knight}

 **TV Announcer:** The Unofficial Sentai now has the Unofficial Rider! Kamen Rider G!

{Then it cuts to a scene of Goro drinking wine in a bathtub with Malshina}

 **TV Announcer:** Good kids should stay away from this show, okay?

* * *

**Tsukasa: On second thought, maybe just roasting you without the one-liners is good enough. Don't wanna scar the kids after all.**

**ATTACK RIDE: STRIKE VENT!**

{Tsukasa gains Dragredder's head and has an open flambe on the Elephant Undead. Capricorn straight up leaves}

**Tachibana: Well done! You defeated Category Jack of Clubs! Now where's his card?**

**Tsukasa: Uh, card?**

**Tachibana: You know! The card you just used! All Undead get sealed into a card when they're defeated!**

**Tsukasa: Oh! That... Well... Guess I destroyed him, No card. Sorry. But hey! Look on the bright side, you won't be using _that_ card again anytime soon.**

{Kazuma, Tachibana, and Tsukasa demorph}

 **Tachibana:** What rank are you? Do you even work at BOARD?

 **Tsukasa:** I am an ace, No, a _super_ royal ace!

 **Kazuma:** No you're not. You're just a rank 2! Look at your tag card!

{Tsukasa notices it}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, so I do... Hey, look over there!

{The group looks and Tsukasa makes like a banana and-}

 **Tsukasa:** If you make that joke, I'll beat you to death... And I'm not trying to reference Hajime there.

{, Okay then,}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Eijiro:** You look so pretty, Kivara! Especially since I put lipstick on you!

 **Kivara:** Thank you! You sure are nice!

 **Eijiro:** Yeah, It'd suck if I was some squid man planning to go on an inkvasion on the multiverse, but that'll be the day when I'm suddenly important enough to get a B-Plot.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey Eijiro! I need you to fix this for me!

{Tsukasa hands Eijiro the camera}

 **Eijiro:** Wait, You should pay me for this! I don't work for free, y'know!

 **Tsukasa:** Well, crap. I was expecting to put it on the bill and hope you forget about it... Now where will I get free money...

 **BOARD Ladies:** CHIEF!

 **Tsukasa:** How did they find out where I live!? Look, ladies, I don't wanna cook today!

 **BOARD Ladies:** But this is about the President giving you a big raise for that Undead you defeated!

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, wait, I'm in the money making world. KACHING! Welp, here comes the B-Plot!

* * *

{le BOARD}

 **Hajime:** So let me get this straight, You want to help us save the world from its inevitable collapse?

 **Natsumi:** Yes. We do. We'll do it for free even!

 **Hajime:** If you want to use our Rider Systems, you have to pay for it. I ain't handing this stuff for free, ya know!

 **BOARD Secretary:** Mr. President, the Aces, Mutsuki, and Tsukasa are here.

 **Hajime:** Ah! Come right in!

{The group enters}

 **Hajime:** Mutsuki, although you almost got killed by standing in the sidelines so much, I've decided to not only promote you to Ace, but also to give you the Leangle System!

 **Yuusuke:** But, You just said you don't-

 **Hajime:** Hush up! I'm talking to my employees!

 **Yuusuke:** {grumble grumble}

 **Hajime:** Kazuma, because you risked your life to save a dear employee to our company, I've decided to demote you and have Tsukasa take your place.

 **Kazuma:** WHAAAAAAAAAT!? Dude! I tried to save Mutsuki! This is insane!

 **Tsukasa:** Don't hate the player, hate the game.

 **Hajime:** Oh, by the way, Tsukasa, you're getting a raise, though I'm promoting you to King instead of Ace because of it. I'm not willing to pay for three Ace's at once, ya know.

 **Tsukasa:** Sweet!

 **Yuusuke:** Hey, uh, Mr. President, I can be a Rider too. I have my own belt and-

 **Hajime:** Oh look! It's time for my daily sexy party! Gotta go!

{Hajime leaves. He then enters the room again}

 **Hajime:** Oh, by the way, Kazuma,

* * *

{le hell's kitchen}

 **Kazuma:** Can't believe I'm reduced to a cook!

 **Tsukasa:** And I'm promoted to Chef Ramsey. Now you get your food nice and hot or I'll shut it all down!

 **Kazuma:** You think for someone who saved this company many times, they'd give him the least humiliating demotion ever.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, life's a bitch then you get thumb-jabbed by one.

* * *

{Cue a montage of Kazuma screwing up with his food and Tsukasa Ramseying it up.}

 **Tachibana:** Hah! Look at you, screwing up! Aren't you supposed to be an Ace?

 **Mutsuki:** You should just quit.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, I agree. You should get the heck out of here.

 **Kazuma:** Alright then! I get it!

{He leaves, but then is pushed back in by Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** You're gonna be a loser dog if you quit!

 **Kazuma:** A Loser Dog? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

 **Tachibana:** Relax! We're trying to bully you into not quitting!

 **Kazuma:** You want me to quit and now you want me _not_ to quit? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

 **Tsukasa:** Look, just carry the food. I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

{Cut to him screwing up with carrying the food and causing a big mess... Bonus irony points being that the guys who told the President of this screw up were Tachibana and Mutsuki}

* * *

{le president's office}

 **Hajime:** I put you in the kitchen for two minutes and you screwed up more times than a ditzy intern! For that, I'm demoting you to Rank 2. Hand over your BlayBuckle!

 **Kazuma:** Screw this, I'm out of here!

 **Hajime:** Have you heard of survival of the fittest, Kazuma? It's a saying that means only the strongest get the right to exist. You're unfit to be a Rider because of your constant screw ups, therefore you are not the strongest... You will not be the one who will survive...

 **Kazuma:** Well... I wanted to quit anyways! Good day, Mr. Hajime!

{Kazuma exits through the door}

 **Hajime:** That's my-

{Kazuma opens the door}

 **Kazuma:** Closet, I know.

{Kazuma exits to the real door... but not before slamming face first into it}

 **???:** Hey!

{Hajime turns to see...}

 **Kamata:** Mind if I stay in this room and say an ominous thing, thus making you the villain for this arc through association through me?

 **Hajime:** Uhhhh wha-

 **Kamata:** Good. Riders and Undead should team up to take over the world. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

{Kamata leaves}

 **Hajime:** The heck was that?

* * *

{Meanwhile, underground}

 **Kivara:** Decade is in the cafeteria. Other than screaming out "SAYAKOOOO!" in front of Tachibana and saying how he should tell him to make a wish among the stars, he's not really that interested in this world. In fact, he seems to like work more than fighting.

 **Narutaki:** Good... I knew this world would be perfect for someone like him...

{Then Natsumi comes in}

 **Natsumi:** Uh... What the heck is going on?

 **Narutaki:** Um... Oooooh! I'm being the mysterious watcher who has a lot of mystery in his past that will never be revealed!

{He leaves through a dimensional wall}

 **Natsumi:** Kivara, what the heck was that?

 **Kivara:** A scene that has little to no buildup and thus serves no point other than to fill time, sweetie.

* * *

{At a random corn field, Kazuma runs out, only to bump into Tsukasa}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hey, don't mind me, I'm just walking around a random corn field... It's not like I was waiting on you or anything.

 **Kazuma:** What do you want!?

 **Tsukasa:** I want you to come back and apologize to the president!

 **Kazuma:** Oh hell no! I ain't doing that!

 **Kamata:** Hey! Can you hand over the Blay Buckle?

 **Kazuma:** And you are?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hai Gary Stu!

 **Kamata:** My name... is not... GARY STU!

{He transforms into the Paradoxa Undead}

 **Tsukasa:** You saved me the trouble of finding you, that's for sure. Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{As the two fight, Kazuma is confronted by Mutsuki and Tachibana}

 **Tachibana:** Hey! If you return the Blaybuckle, the President won't fire you!

 **Kazuma:** I wouldn't be in this situation if you guys hadn't weaseled me out like that after encouraging me to stay!

 **Mutsuki:** He has us there.

 **Kazuma:** Just watch... I'll fight the Undead and regain my position as Ace! Just like how Tsukasa got his promotion! Henshin!

** TURN UP! **

**Tachibana and Mutsuki:** Henshin!

**TURN UP! OPEN UP!**

{The three fight, then Capricorn gets in on the action, who Tsukasa promptly takes out of the action with a Rider Kick}

**Tsukasa: Oh! Sorry about that! I just screwed over Kazuma! He's never getting Jack Form... Or King Form! I just killed the Queen!**

**Kamata:** Wait, that was a chick?

{Just then, explosions... Then Chalice comes, beats up the BOARD Riders, then snags Kazuma's belt, demorphing him.}

**Tsukasa: I was wondering where you'd come in, Chalice.**

**Chalice: Are you the Destroyer of Worlds? The Devil that I was told about?**

**Tsukasa: Wanna find out?**

{Tsukasa and Chalice run at each other, and were about to punch each other, when suddenly, a guitar riff was heard}

**???: HEY HEY HEY HEY!**

{The Riders and Paradoxa look to the guy...}

**Tsukasa: Oh Overlord No...**

{Tsukasa recognizes the rider as Todoroki}

**Todoroki: LISTEN TO MY SOOOOOOOOOOONG!**

{Todoroki then plays a sick guitar riff that takes about a week to finish... In that time, I say we shall end this chapter here... To Be Continued}


	9. I Fed Aaaaap With Dis World!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa goes on a get-rich-quick scheme, Yuusuke shows his Yuuselessness, Natsumi pulls her weight, Kazuma gets the wrong idea, Hajime develops one of the most hair-brained schemes to get rid of Kuzco yet, and there's some guy who apparently knows Tsukasa.
> 
> Just another day at The Office!

{Todoroki's song still played as the Riders began to play poker. Texas Hold 'em for those interested in knowing what kind.}

**Chalice: Alright, I'm betting my mother's soul. In trade, I want the knowledge of your secret identity, Decade!**

{Tsukasa facepalms}

**Tsukasa: When the heck did poker become so melodramatic? Shouldn't this happen to children's card games? Look, just bet something that doesn't relate to stealing souls, okay?**

**Chalice: Fine. I'm betting my belt.**

**Tsukasa: Much better! I fold!**

**Mutsuki: Fold.**

**Tachibana: What the heck, I call.**

{Tachibana and Chalice both put their belts in the pot, then reveal their cards}

 **Reginald Van Winslow** : Chalice has... a royal flush! Garren has... two pair! Chalice wins the hand!

**Chalice: I'll be taking that.**

**Tachibana: This is bullshi-**

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Todoroki finishes playing}

**Todoroki: AND I'M DONE! THANK YOU, L.A.!**

{Todoroki stabs the ground with his guitar and makes everything explode}

**Tsukasa: Okay, seriously? What the crap was that?**

{A mysterious person watches the battle from afar}

 **???:** Hehe, my trolling is so much fun!

**Tsukasa: Well, that asshole managed to kill the mood for me. I'm out.**

**Chalice: Yeah. Same here. I gotta fire some- Uuuuuuuh, I mean, I gotta look at Garren's deck... Yeeeeeaaaaaaaah...**

{Tachibana sighs}

**Tachibana: The boss will have our asses for this.**

* * *

{le BOARD}

 **Hajime:** Congratulations, Tsukasa, you managed to kill a king Undead.

 **Tsukasa:** Uuuuuh, Queen.

 **Hajime:** What?

 **Tsukasa:** I killed the Queen of Spades.

 **Hajime:** But... that Undead wasn't a girl.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, so because an undead is a different gender, he's not allowed to be a different rank?

 **Hajime:** That's not what I was trying to say.

 **Tsukasa:** No. I can totally see that being the case.

 **Hajime:** Do you want the big raise or not?

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, shutting up now.

 **Hajime:** Heh, bribery. Gets 'em every time. Anyways, your raise is only a few hundred bucks. If you want a bigger raise, then I suggest you fix the screw up that your associate made. Speaking of screw ups, Tachibana, because you literally gambled away your belt, you're getting demoted.

 **Tachibana:** Wait, what? I didn't say anything about gambling... ehehe....

 **Hajime:** Still, you lost in the race for survival because you thought with your heart instead of your head.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hai, Darwin!

 **Hajime:** Ignore Mr. Jackass over there. Anyways, Mutsuki, you're being promoted to Ace.

 **Mutsuki:** Wasn't I _already_ an Ace?

 **Hajime:** Riiiiiight... Okay, you're a _Super_ Royal Ace!

 **Tsukasa:** Ahah! So there _was_ a rank higher than Ace!

 **Hajime:** By the way, Kazuma, you're fired. Bye bye!

* * *

{In the locker room, Kazuma is putting away his things}

 **Kazuma:** Stupid Tsukasa. Stupid Tachibana. Stupid Mutsuki. Stupid Hajime. Stupid Random Guitar Playing Oni. Everybody betrayed me!

{Tsukasa enters}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hooooo, how the mighty have fallen!

 **Kazuma:** Put a sock in it, I don't wanna deal with you right now.

 **Tsukasa:** An episode ago, you were raving about how awesome your rank is. You know, you're just way too obsessed with your ranking. So, let me give you a parting gift. Use this to feel better about yourself when you cry yourself to sleep.

{He gives him a card saying ♠0 on it. He leaves}

 **Kazuma:** Jackass... STOP MOCKING ME, YOU DICK!

{Suddenly Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** Stop! Think about what the card means! The zero represents how you lost everything! He's telling you to restart from zero!

 **Kazuma:** Restart from zero? Is... Is that true?

 **Tsukasa:** Um... Yeah... aha... Sometimes I just need to push you around.

 **Kazuma:** Wait a minute, isn't this like with the "Loser Dog" thing yesterday? We _all_ remembered how well that worked, right?

 **Tsukasa:** Ooops! Look at the time! I gotta... uh... clean the restaurant! Yeah!

{Tsukasa runs out of the locker room}

 **Yuusuke:** That Tsukasa... Surely he has his comrades in his thoughts when it comes to doing his job.

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Eijiro:** I have your camera fixed. You got the money.

 **Tsukasa:** Heck yeah I do!

{hands the money over}

 **Tsukasa:** Come to papa!

{He tries to take the camera, but he gets thumb-jabbed by Natsumi}

 **Natsumi:** That's far from enough money! You still have to pay for your coffee fee and your photo development fee!

 **Tsukasa:** Hahahahaha!I have to _pay_ for those?

 **Natsumi:** We also haven't figured out what to do in this world! You just keep getting focused on that stupid job at the kitchen!

 **Tsukasa:** Hahahaaaaah...Alright fine. I'll get the money.

{He gets thumb-jabbed again}

 **Natsumi:** No! You have to save the world! Prioritize, damn it!

 **Tsukasa:** Fine! I'll start by helping that stubborn Kazuma. He's the Rider of this world after all... Maybe I might help him learn not to be such a stubborn ass.

 **Natsumi:** Good! Now, what will be the first thing?

 **Tsukasa:** Well...

* * *

{le restaurant, with Tsukasa standing in front of many chefs}

 **Tsukasa:** From now on, everyone will be getting Ace-level lunches! The reason this restaurant is in the red is because nobody is getting what they like! Everyone, make the same quality lunches as you would for the Aces!

 **Natsumi:** How is this helping Kazuma?

 **Tsukasa:** Um... Well...

 **Yuusuke:** And why have you decided to turn this restaurant into a host club? Like, why am I dressed like a host?

{He cocks his head to see behind Tsukasa and sees a DVD of _Ouran High School Host Club_ }

 **Tsukasa:**...

{He steps in front of the DVD and blocks Yuusuke's view}

 **Tsukasa:** Let's get to work, people!

{and so a montage of Tsukasa serving the guests Ace Lunches plays. And soon, the montage ends... Back with Kazuma.}

 **Mutsuki:** Aren't you supposed to be fired?

 **Kazuma:** Apparently they take in part-timers. Even _if_ they got fired.

 **Mutsuki:** Huh. Don't care. Gonna get the Rider Buckles back. Don't need your help in it. Gonna do it all by myself.

 **Tsukasa:** We get it, you rival me in how much of an ass you are.

 **Kazuma:** Yeah. I agree... You're letting this Ace thing go to your head.

 **Mutsuki:** It's _Super_ Royal Ace!

 **Kazuma:** Who cares? A rank is just a rank. Right, Tsukasa?

 **Tsukasa:** Uh... yeah. Erm, good luck with your job, Mutsuki. Try not to get yourself killed...

{Tsukasa crosses his fingers behind his back}

 **Mutsuki:** You best learn to respect your superiors. Let's go, dog.

{Mutsuki leaves with Tachibana}

 **Kazuma:** Cheese!

 **Tsukasa:** It's chief!

 **Kazuma:** No! No! If I make this right, we can give cheese for everyone!

 **Tsukasa:** Huh... Can't believe we just subverted that. Then again, when was the last time I poked fun at the Ondol language?

* * *

{At a random battleground, Mutsuki and Tachibana are searching for Chalice}

 **Mutsuki:** Found him yet?

 **Tachibana:** Nope...

 **Mutsuki:** Damn it... It's not like he's just gonna pop up and- He's right behind me isn't he?

 **Tachibana:** Yeah.

 **Mutsuki:** Crap! Henshin!

** OPEN UP! **

{The two fight each other and wind up knocking each other's belts off, revealing that Chalice was...}

 **Mutsuki:** Old Man Jenkins?!

 **Hajime:** No, you idiot! I'm your boss! Now do you want to work for my company and actually do something other than act like smug jackasses?

 **Mutsuki:** Um... no?

 **Hajime:** Too bad, I'm looking for some asshole victims!

** CHANGE! **

{Chalice attacks them}

* * *

{le restaurant}

 **Tsukasa:** TAXES! BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY TAXES!

 **Natsumi:** So you didn't really care about Kazuma when you decided to do this.

 **Tsukasa:** Pretty much.

 **Natsumi:** You're a dick.

 **Tsukasa:** I'll always be one.

 **BOARD Announcer:** Mutsuki and Tachibana have retired.

 **Kazuma:** How can that be? They're not the kind of people to just retire out of the blue!

 **Tsukasa:** Someone's invoking the Retirony trope... Basically, retired is just another word for "gonna die really soon."

 **Natsumi:** Wait, shouldn't we save them if they're gonna die?

 **Tsukasa:** Nah. It'll be just like Yashiro in Kuuga's World. We're just gonna ignore it and hopefully they'll die without us ever knowing.

 **Yuusuke:** Oh, by the way, I've still yet to call you out for that.

 **Tsukasa:** Shush. Why don't you be useful for once and help Kazuma rescue Mutsuki and Tachibana?

 **Yuusuke:**... Fine. Let's go, Kazuma.

 **Kazuma:** To the secret lab!

{Yuusuke and Kazuma run off to their bikes. Yuusuke gets on his, but Kazuma stands in front of a large lever system}

 **Kazuma:** Pull the lever, Yuusuke!

 **Yuusuke:** Are we really doing this?

 **Kazuma:** Hey, we need some comic relief here!

 **Yuusuke:** Why do we even _need_ a lever? We have bikes!

 **Kazuma:** Party pooper.

{The two drive off}

 **Natsumi:** But seriously Tsukasa, you have to help too.

 **Tsukasa:** I know, but I like to play the big damn hero, ya know?Pop in just when things are grim, kick some ass, say a few words, and get the magical girl to do her finisher.

 **Natsumi:** This isn't Sailor Moon!

 **Tsukasa:** I wish it to be.

 **???:** Oh, sure you do.

{Tsukasa and Natsumi look to a strange man who had just finished their lunch}

 **???** : Oh, don't mind me, I'm just finishing up here and I'll be outta your hair.

 **Tsukasa:** And you are?

 **???:** Oh, shock! You don't know me? I was your most favoured chef before I pissed you and about a quarter of the multiverse off by backstabbing you.

 **Natsumi:** Multiverse? You mean, like other worlds?

 **???:** Correct. Not sure why you hang around with a dick like Tsukasa. Especially with what I know.

 **Tsukasa:** What? You know about me?

 **???:** Yeah. Just don't expect me to blab about it. Knowing amnesiacs, they tend to have those conflicted "Who am I" moments when they find out who they really are. Just ask that bookworm in Futo. All I'm just gonna say is "Sea Cucumber". It means absolutely nothing and only serves to both drive epileptic trees nuts and to serve as a running gag for writers who have no idea what the original writer had intended. Welp, I'm done my exposition and foreshadowing for now. Adios.

{And then he up and leaves}

 **Tsukasa:** What the heck was that about?

 **Natsumi:** I was gonna ask you the same thing.

* * *

{le secret lab}

 **Hajime:** So run this by me again, random stranger who just appeared in my building yesterday?

 **Kamata:** Well, by fusing the undead cells with human life forces, we can create the ultimate Undead.

 **Hajime:** Ah! Right! That makes sense.

* * *

{Outside le secret lab, Kazuma and Yuusuke run over barricades on their bikes}

 **Kazuma:** Don't mind us!

{Yeah, and they also run over some guards}

* * *

{le secret lab}

 **Kamata:** Amazing! We created the Joker card!

{Kazuma and Yuusuke run in}

 **Yuusuke:** Oh no! They killed Mutsuki and Tachibana!

 **Kazuma:** Meh.

 **Yuusuke:** Meh!? They were your allies!

 **Kazuma:** They were also massive jerks.

 **Yuusuke:** They weren't always! Remember how they tried to help you when you got demoted?

 **Kazuma:** They got me fired!

 **Yuusuke:** Because _you_ were stubborn!

 **Kazuma:** No, because they ratted me out for a screw up right after they encouraged me to keep going!

 **Yuusuke:** You need to stop acting so high and mighty! They may be jerks, but if weren't for them, you wouldn't be you!

 **Kamata:** Hey, guys? We're sort of here? Do you think you can do a little fighting with us?

 **Yuusuke:** Eh, why not? **HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke transforms and fights Kamata in his Undead form.}

 **Hajime:** Kazuma, can I have a word with you outside?

 **Kazuma:** Um... Sure?

{The two leave the secret lab}

 **Kazuma:** Okay, so why the heck are you doing this?

 **Hajime:** Because if we run out of Undead to fight, our company has no reason to exist! I mean, it's not like the Earth is gonna get continually threatened by evil monsters on a daily basis. So, we've decided to make an artificial Undead to ensure that the country gives us money.

 **Kazuma:** Wait, wouldn't they get suspicious if you wind up fighting the same Undead over and over again? And who are you gonna fight it with? You fired me and killed off the other two Riders.

 **Hajime:** ... Sounded better in my head. I mean, seriously, look!

{Hajime slides the Joker card through the Chalice Rouzer}

** JOOOOKER!! **

{and Hajime becomes Kamen Rider Joker}

**Hajime: Wait what?**

{We're sorry for that joke. The person who wrote the joke has been sacked... Then wouldn't this fanfic end? No? Well... Let's continue then.}

{Hajime is now in his Joker form}

**Hajime: Behold! My ultimate form!**

{Hajime is about to kill Kazuma, but then Tsukasa, in Ryuki form, jumps out of a car window and saves him}

**Tsukasa: Hey Kazuma, don't ask me how I got this. I don't even know.**

{Tsukasa hands Kazuma the Blay Buckle}

 **Kazuma:** You didn't tell me you were bringing a secret weapon, Tsukasa!

**Tsukasa: That's Mr. Tsukasa to you, Kazuma! Wheeze!**

{Suddenly, Kuuga gets tossed out and demorphs into Yuusuke. Then the Paradoxa Undead jumps down}

**Tsukasa: Look what I can do!**

{Tsukasa jumps into the reflection of a car window, only to find that he can't get out on another car window}

**Tsukasa: The heck? Didn't Toei decide to ignore that whole "you can only go back the way you came" rule? Kind of screws up my whole plan then... Whatever. Plan was stupid anyways.**

{Tsukasa jumps out of the car window and slashes Kamata. However...}

**Hajime: HAX BLAST!**

{He fires a green beam at Tsukasa, causing him to demorph.}

**Hajime: Riders and Undead will join forces to take over the world! You shall help us with that cause!**

**Kazuma:** Help you? After you fired me? After you showed me just how greedy you can become? [Don't make me laugh!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s) I sort of owe you for firing me, as it had forced me to realize just how obsessed with rankings and this whole "survival race" you keep preaching about.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, hate to break it to you, Darwin, but evolution can't begin with just one person. Seriously, do you even do your freaking research or do you just spout nonsense about survival of the fittest and think it's deep?

**Hajime: Then how does it begin? One person must make all the moves...**

**Kazuma:** Alone, yes, but he will make mistakes. It's only with others that he is able to learn from his mistakes and become a better person. _That_ is evolution!

 **Tsukasa:** Besides, if you REALLY want to solve your Undead running out crisis, why not use Remote Tapir? It's been used countless times to unseal the Undead.

**Hajime: We would, but some dick decided to blow up the Undead and prevent them from being sealed.**

**Tsukasa:** Heh heh, whoops?

**Kamata: Who are you to decide the business strategies for us? Identify yourself, outsider!**

**Tsukasa:** I already told you!

**Kamata: Well... um... Can you tell me anyways? Please?**

**Tsukasa:** Fine, just a passing through Rider, remember that, alright let's kick their ass, Kazuma.

{Tsukasa holds his Kamen Ride Decade card}

 **Kazuma:** Right... HENSHIN!

 **Tsukasa:** HENSHIN!

** TURN UP! **

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{Fighting ensues, but Tsukasa gains his Blade cards}

 **Tsukasa:** **This might tickle.**

**FINAL FORM RIDE: BLA- BLA- BLA-BLADE! **

{Tsukasa pokes Kazuma's back and his body turns into a giant ass sword. Then Tsukasa places the final card}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: BLA- BLA- BLA-BLADE! **

{And pretty much blows them to kingdom come. The two demorph.}

* * *

{Later on}

 **Tsukasa:** Why do I have to leave again?

 **Natsumi:** Last I checked, the main villain of this world is dead, the main rider of this world stopped being a jerk, and you unlocked your Rider Cards for this world. I think we've fulfilled the formula required for us to leave this world.

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, we got a formula patted down after three worlds?

 **Natsumi:** Two worlds and _one_ world you've decided to skip!

 **Tsukasa:** Read my lips: TIME. TRAVEL.

 **Natsumi:** And read _my_ lips: LET'S. GO.

 **Tsukasa:** Fine. I'm going. Adios, Kazuma.

 **Kazuma:** Erm... Bye?

{Tsukasa and Natsumi ride off on their motorbike}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Yuusuke:** Let's reintroduce the moral for the kids who didn't understand the first time around: We should help our friends and work to evolve together!

 **Tsukasa:** Wasn't that the moral in the previous world?

 **Yuusuke:** No. That was "so long as The King believes his dreams, so will his people."

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, I'm getting really sick and tired of pretending that Ryuki's World never happened. You want the truth? Here's the truth! Natsumi got accused of murdering some random bitch even though the evidence presented were clearly not enough to convict her! Bloodless fork, really? And the Judge was so dumb he needed to have a needlessly complicated system where thirteen people, some of them potential psychopaths or someone who actually did the crime and just wanted to cover their tracks, fight and decide the fate of the accused. I partook in the tournament, Shinji became a whiny bitch as usual, Gary Stu was waltzing around with his deck that apparently was able to take me and Shinji out, Ren effortlessly defeated Odin, the be-all-end-all Rider in Ryuki's World, got his Time Vent card and Shinji used it. Then Shinji and I got back from that future, saved that bitch from getting killed by some stupid wind scythe thing, and kicked Gary Stu's ass before some asshole in a fisherman's hat came and took him out of that world and put him into this world!

 **Natsumi:** Wait, fisherman's hat?

{Kivara backed away}

 **Tsukasa:** And y'know, I am starting to like this world too! Even if my photos tell me I don't fit, I like it enough to stay! But nooooooooo! We have to go to the next world! And the next world! And the next world! Save the nine worlds my ass. All we've done is bitch smack people who are either wimpy, a dick, or both and tell them to stop acting like douches. That's. It. Fighting the other Riders is just for fan service, beating up the bad guys is just so we have some visible cue of when we need to get the heck out, and I'm seriously betting that I'm screwing up more than I am actually fixing things. I mean, I got a kid to kill his dad. HIS DAD! And now I just financially doomed BOARD to the point where they might get bought out by a rival company who will only make it the shadow of what it will formerly be.

 **Yuusuke:** I think you should calm down.

 **Tsukasa:** Seriously, I'm getting fed up with this bullcrap! It makes me sick!

{Tsukasa tosses his newly developed photo at the chains, which causes the next backdrop to fall... Tsukasa recognizes it and reacts with fear in his eyes}

 **Tsukasa:** So... Instead of a world where I can be rich... I get a world where I'll wind up in a river?

**Kivara:** Oh! I know this world somehow... Let me guide you...

**Tsukasa:** Thanks... I really need the help. Especially with communications.

**Kivara:** By which I mean I'll do nothing but watch you get beaten up by a guy that I could have spent five minutes of talking to get him to understand that you're not a bad guy.

{Tsukasa's eye twitches. Then Eijiro comes in with a receipt}

 **Eijiro:** Oh, by the way, you haven't paid that development fee yet.

{Tsukasa's eye twitches even faster. He inhales and then...}

**Tsukasa:[FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufsf_-a_H9Q)-**

* * *

{Narutaki is on a rooftop, where he could see the Hikari Photo Studio from afar. He closes his eyes as he hears Tsukasa's rage.}

 **Narutaki:** Decade... Surely this world will bring out the devil in you...

{To Be Continued}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In hindsight, I should have:
> 
> 1) Made more Ondol jokes (though at the risk of making them really tiresome)  
> 2) Since Tsukasa was coming out of a salaryman setting, sort of like an office, have him react [like so](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ).


	10. Kaito debuts in this one, guys!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! After ten episodes, Kaito finally appears! Huh? What? You want a summary? Uh... High School Hijinx? WHO CARES!? KAITO'S HERE!

{Our episode opens at Smart Brain High School at night where a guard finds a girl.}

 **Guard:** Are you a student here?

 **Girl:** No... I can't attend this school...

 **Guard:** Huh? Why not?

 **Girl:** Because I'm... I'm an Orphnoch...

{She turns into one, scaring the guard away while Faiz swoops in and kicks her ass... Then he mortally wounds her}

 **Girl:** I just... wanted to go to school...

{and she dies. Faiz stands there, reflecting on the moment, then gets on a bike and rides off, unaware that a man was watching this exact fight.}

 **???:** Faiz's Belt... will make a fine collection.

 **Guard:** Hey what are you doing here!?

 **???:** Oh shi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Le photo studio}

 **Natsumi:** Uuuuuh, did my granddad go overkill on the food?

{She and the others look at the horde of food}

 **???:** No no, that was all me!

{Suddenly, that same man popped up out of nowhere}

 **???:** Consider it a "congratulations on making it through ten episodes!" dinner!

 **Tsukasa:** You!

 **Natsumi:** The Dine-and-dash guy!

 **???:** Please, let's stop with the nicknames and the question marks. My name is Kahn... SYKE! My name's Kaito.

 **Natsumi:** Kaito... like the singer?

 **Kaito:** No. Kaito as in the thief. I'm everything the fans wanted out of the main character of this story and more. I'll journey on from here. Tsukasa, would you kindly step off your spot of hero and let me take the helm.

 **Tsukasa:** Hell no! I like being the hero!

 **Kaito:** Oh... By the end of this arc, I'll take over this show.

{Kaito leaves}

 **Natsumi:** Screwier and screwier...

* * *

{Tsukasa then steps outside the studio and discovers he's in a school uniform}

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, am I in Faiz's world or Fourze's world?

{Natsumi giggles at him}

 **Tsukasa:** You know, I'd like it to be Fourze's... Then I'd take the Driver and chuck it into the nearest lava pit.

 **Natsumi:** Didn't Gentaro already do that?

 **Yuusuke:** DUDE! SPOILERS!

 **Tsukasa:** What? That's not gonna happen for another five years... Or eight in our case. Let's see where the heck this uniform belongs to.

{He takes out an ID and looks at it}

 **Tsukasa:** Smart Brain High School. Oh cool, Professor Bias runs this school.

 **Natsumi:** Did we really just make a Super Sentai reference?

 **Tsukasa:** TO SCHOOL!

* * *

{Le school}

 **Natsumi:** So, recap for the people who don't know what Orphnochs are. They're zombies. Humans revive as monsters and secretly attack humanity. Because of this, they're banned from going to this school... At least that's what I read on this "politically correct" Wikipedia.

 **Tsukasa:** Of course, you will run into tragic villains. Tragic villains who wouldn't be so tragic or villains if we spent time talking to them... But tragic villains nonetheless. Alright, let's continue.

{Just then, the world's version of the Lucky Clover appear}

 **Random Student:** Look! It's the four most popular students in the school that are mean to us yet we totally idolize them at every moment!

 **Genda:** I don't like having my picture taken, girl!

 **Yuri:** But I was taking a picture of a flower!

 **Genda:** Too bad, we need to further establish that we're the alpha bitches.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hai Sunset Shimmer's male counterpart.

 **Natsumi:** Really? My Little Pony?

 **Momose:** Who dares reference My Little Pony in my area?

 **Tsukasa:** That would be me- Wait... Is that... No... It can't be...

{Tsukasa goes up to him and tries to pull off one of Momose's arms}

 **Momose:** What the heck are you doing?

 **Tsukasa:** You must be...

{Genda pulls Tsukasa off of Momose}

 **Momose:** Don't lay a hand on me, fool!

 **Tsukasa:** Then how about a picture?

{He takes Yuri's camera and takes several photographs of the Lucky Clover members. One of them get so pissed he throws one at Tsukasa, only for it to get shot away by Kaito}

 **Kaito:** Now now, the time for bickering has ceased. Tsukasa, come with me.

 **Tsukasa:** Where did you come from? And what the heck is up with that gun? And why do I find it so familiar?

 **Kaito:** I said follow me.

{Kaito pulls Tsukasa aside}

 **Shukawa:** Could he be Faiz?

 **Genda:** Naaaaaaaaaaah.

* * *

**Kaito:** I thought I told you that I would be taking over the show.

 **Tsukasa:** Well too bad. I have a mission that's well established. You're a guy who came right the frak out of nowhere. The audience won't know who you are nor would care about your mission.

 **Kaito:** Oh, but the audience does know who I am. They anticipated for me to come. They wondered what personality the author would give to me. Would I be a carbon copy of my TV show counterpart? Would I revel in my awesomeness and be the badass who has his own theme song? Would I have the hots for you? God I hope not. Point is, fans love me. They see you as a dick. They see me as a hero.

 **Tsukasa:** What the heck are you talking about? I thought this was just a show made to cash in on a milestone.

 **Kaito:** It is... This is just an abridging of one. 

**Tsukasa:** Abridging? 

**Kaito:** I shouldn't say too much... Let's have a little wager. We both know Takumi's Faiz... the fun is who will be the first to find viable proof and show it. Winner keeps the show. Loser leaves this world forever.

 **Tsukasa:** Fun enough, I've been looking for an excuse to get out of this world from the beginning.

 **Yuri:** Um... Guys?

{Tsukasa turns to Yuri and Takumi, but Kaito disappears}

* * *

{le Photography Club}

 **Takumi:** My name is Ogami.

 **Tsukasa:** Hah.

 **Takumi:** Wh-what's so funny?

 **Tsukasa:** It's like the writers ran out of ideas for what to name you so they just decided to get the Japanese word for your- Oh, spoilers.

 **Yuri:** Um... Anyways, thanks for standing up to those bullies.

 **Tsukasa:** You're welcome. It's their fault to name themselves Lucky Clover.

 **Yuri:** I hate them. As much as I hate Orphnochs.

 **Tsukasa:** Did Orphnochs eat your mom or something?

 **Yuri:** No... Just... They're just monsters disguised as humans, right?

 **Tsukasa:** No, you're thinking Worms or Phantoms.

 **Yuri:** I hate being around those filthy Orphnoch. I mean, it'd suck if my friend was one.

{Tsukasa looks at Takumi, who's sweating up a storm}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh look, your friend's caught a cold! I should go before I get the virus.

{Tsukasa gets up and walks away}

* * *

**Momose:** So why did you decide to challenge the Lucky Clover to a tennis match?

 **Tsukasa:** Because I want to show the audience that I used to do Prince of Tennis before this.

 **Momose:** Prince of what?

**Tsukasa:** [HIT IT!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceh5J4rj9JM)

{And so he plays tennis and does some hax moves that look like something out of a shonen manga about tennis... I mean, like Prince of Tennis, but with Dragonball Z style tennis matches.}

 **Genda:** Alright, enough show-boating! We know you're Faiz! Show yourself!

{Genda turns into the Dragon Orphnoch}

 **Tsukasa:** Figures. Well, guess it's time for me to show off Blade's power. Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{He transforms}

 **Genda:** You're not Faiz!? Still, you know my true identity! Therefore you must die!

**Tsukasa: You would have avoided it if you didn't just jump to conclusions, ya know... Henshin!**

**KAMEN RIDE: BLADE!**

{The Change Card appears in front of Tsukasa}

**Tsukasa: UUUUUREEEEEEIIIIIII!!!!!**

{He runs through and slashes at Genda}

 **Shirogane:** Tch... Typical.

{He turns into the Centipede Orphnoch and whips Tsukasa around. Tsukasa uses a new card}

**ATTACK RIDE: METAL!**

{Half of Decade's body turns silver}

**Tsukasa: What? No! I mean make my body metal! Not give me the Metal half of Double!**

{Oh... Sorry.}

**Tsukasa: No. No. You killed the mood. Let me just kill this dude now.**

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: BLA- BLA- BLA-BLADE!**

{Tsukasa rider kicks Genda. Meanwhile, Narutaki watches from afar}

 **Narutaki:** Amazing! I surely thought that the seeds of discord would be sewn between Faiz and Decade...

{Just then, Kaito jumps over him}

**Kaito:** [Herro!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Khsi-zAO25E)

**Narutaki:** You... What business do you have here?

 **Kaito:** Nothing much... Just stealing the show... Oh, by the way, you seem to be supporting Decade... Aren't you the guy who spites his name everywhere you go?

 **Narutaki:** He has shown me four times that he can ignore the killing instinct of his Rider Belt. He only fights the other riders out of self-interest or self-defense, but never actively fights other Riders for the sake of killing them. Four out of nine times is too soon to tell though.

 **Kaito:** Killing instinct? Didn't realize this abridgement had depth. The author must have been mighty pissed about how the show was a confusing mess.

 **Narutaki:** Abridgement? Are you...

 **Kaito:** Stay out of my way, and I won't consider you an enemy.

{Kaito leaves}

 **Kivara:** Is it time for a cryptic conversati- HURMP!

{Kivara gets squeezed by Narutaki and then gets stuffed into his pocket}

 **Narutaki:** So... He's aware.

* * *

{Back with Tsukasa, Momose revives Genda and turns into the Tiger Orphnoch}

**Momose:** Faiz is our enemy. You best get of our way.

**Tsukasa: So, I presume you're trying to fight Faiz because you want to defend yourselves and have a normal life as a high school student?**

**Momose:** Hah, no. We snuck into this school to rule over humanity! Muwhahahahahaha!

{Momose then beats up Tsukasa, demorphing him}

**Momose:** We _could_ kill you, but we got to go back to our generic plotting to sabotage someone's journey to be a prom queen.

{the group leave}

* * *

{The Lucky Clover then encounter Kaito}

 **Kaito:** Now, I know the script didn't mention me getting this because there was practically no way to say "And then a photo fell out of Faiz's pocket" without poking holes in wondering why a Rider would so carelessly drop a photograph, but I am here to say a photo fell out of Faiz's pocket last night when he was brutally murdering an Orphnoch.

 **Genda:** GIMMIE!

{Kaito holds it above Genda}

 **Kaito:** A famous person once told me: "In order to gain something, you must give something up." If you want to get this photo, I want something in return.

 **Momose:** Name your price.

 **Kaito:** I want membership into the Lucky Clover.

 **Momose:**... An interesting proposition...

* * *

{Yuri and Takumi are strolling in the school yards when two members of the Lucky Clover come and kick their asses}

 **Shirogane:** Yuri! Are you Faiz?

 **Yuri:** Wait, what?

 **Shirogane:** Last night, Faiz dropped this photograph. By association, you must be Faiz.

 **Yuri:** That's insane! I'm way too ladylike to be a Rider!

 **Shirogane:** Well, we'll kill you anyway!

{Both Shirogane and Shukawa turn into Orphnochs}

 **Takumi:** Don't worry, Yuri! I'll save you!

{The two see Takumi with a phone.}

** 555! STANDIN' BY! **

**Takumi:** HENSHIN!

{puts the phone into the Driver}

** Complete! **

* * *

{Le school}

 **Tsukasa:** What do you mean this school is as long as a road?

 **Natsumi:** I checked... It's like this entire school is a city in of itself! Also, you know who Faiz is, right? Find out if he's a dick and then have him stop being a dick!

 **Tsukasa:** Fine, I'll go find them.

{He leaves}

* * *

{Takumi tries to fight the Orphnochs but gets his ass handed to, demorphing}

 **Tsukasa:** Damn it... We're back to the incompetent kind of rider. Time to save his ass.

**Genda:** Oh no you don't!

{He attacks Tsukasa. Both Takumi and Tsukasa are pinned down and are about to be killed when clapping is heard}

 **Kaito:** Congrats! Guess this means I'm a Lucky Clover member, right?

 **Tsukasa:** Kaito...

 **Kaito:** Buuuut... Five members is too much for a team which name implies four people...

**Shirogane:** We can rename the group the Lucky Star.

**Kaito:**...

{Gets out his Diend Driver}

 **Kaito:** Just for that you're the first to die.

{He loads the card into the Driver}

** KAMEN RIDE: **

**Kaito:** HENSHIN!

{Kaito fires}

** DIEND! **

{[He transforms into a new Rider: Kamen Rider Diend](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9MeIlyDTbk)}

**Kaito: Tsukasa, just listen to this song... Can't you hear how badass it is? The fans will be hard-pressed to find this song and not know it's stock music!**

{Tsukasa does just that}

**Genda:** You're still fighting me, you know.

{Tsukasa fights Genda while Diend kicks the other two Orphnochs around}

**Kaito: Time to foreshadow my alliance!**

{He takes out two cards and slides them in}

**KAMEN RIDE: REY! KABUKI! **

{Diend summons two Riders to the battle, Rey and Kabuki. The Orphnochs are awed by this}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh hey, a distraction! Time for me to get my belt!

{Tsukasa does so}

 **Tsukasa:** Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{[cue Ride The Wind](http://youtu.be/WEgWU9x7d-A?t=15s)}

{Tsukasa manages to kick the Dragon Orphnoch away mid-henshin, causing blue flames to appear on his chest before they settle and vanish}

**Genda:** You bastard...

**Tsukasa: Yuri! Take Ogami and run! We'll handle these guys!**

**Yuri:** Whatever you say, random man!

{She leaves. Meanwhile, Kaito is fighting the Centipede Orphnoch, who has Faiz's belt in his hand}

**Kaito: Once you die, I'll have that belt of yours.**

**Shirogane:** Cretin! You were after this the whole time?

**Kaito: Cretin? No one uses that anymore. Die now.**

{Kaito places a card in the Driver}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DI- DI- DI-DIEND!**

{Kaito summons nine rings which suck Kabuki and Rey in as he fires a mega death beam at the Centipede Orphnoch}

{Song end}

* * *

{Yuri and Takumi try to flee, but Momose stops them}

 **Momose:** Faiz! Die by my hands!

{He transforms into the Tiger Orphnoch. He then smacks him aside and goes for Yuri instead... what?}

 **Takumi:** Wait, it's me you want!

{He runs and blocks Momose's strike, transforming into the Wolf Orphnoch}

 **Yuri:** No... No... It can't be... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

{Tsukasa looks over}

**Tsukasa: Ahahaha... That's gonna be awkward. Huh?**

{Tsukasa picks up the Faiz Belt}

**Kaito: Hand over the belt, Tsukasa. It'd look great in my collection.**

**Tsukasa: Well... I would probably-**

{Tsukasa gets a headache as visions of the Rider War flash through him.}

**Deca Driver: Fight him for it... It is the only way you can earn your place... Like you always have.**

**Tsukasa:... I'll get in your way then...**

{Tsukasa draws a card, which Kaito responds to}

** ATTACK RIDE: BLAST! **

** ATTACK RIDE: BLAST! **

{The two Riders shoot at each other, all while Narutaki watches from afar}

 **Narutaki:** Finally... He's given in... Decade's Violent Emotion has resurfaced... Damn you... DAMN YOU DECADE!!!

{To Be Continued}


	11. 555 Treasures, 1 Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi thinks he's an idiot while Kaito makes a deal with the devil, all while more questions of Tsukasa's past is raised.

{Takumi and Momose fight it out}

 **Momose:** YOU BASTARD! You were an Orphnoch this whole time!?

**Tsukasa: {** _shouting from afar_ **} It was pretty obvious if you think about it!**

**Yuri:** No way... Takumi is an Orphnoc-

**Tsukasa: {** _shouting from afar_ **} YES! WE GET IT!**

{Some students pass by}

 **Student:** Oh my God! Takumi's an-

**Tsukasa: {** _shouting from afar_ **} SHUT THE [EFF!] UP! WE GET IT! HE'S AN OPRHNOCH! HOLY SHI-**

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Tsukasa and Kaito continue to shoot each other, though Shukawa holds up Kaito}

 **Shukawa:** You... You said you'd join Lucky Clover! Why randomly kill our brethren!?

**Kaito: Because I do not actually care for your silly little club. I've been gunning for the Faiz Driver that whole time.**

**Tsukasa: What do you want with Faiz's belt?**

**Kaito: Nothing really. It'd make a nice addition to my collection. That belt was made by a certain company-**

**Tsukasa: Smart Brain.**

**Kaito: Um... What?**

**Tsukasa: Smart Brain. That's who made it.**

**Shukawa:** You're mistaken. Smart Brain is a High School, not a company.

**Tsukasa: But... It has Smart Brain on the freaking briefcase that holds this!**

{Shukawa shows him the briefcase that blatantly has the Smart Brain logo}

 **Shukawa:** No it doesn't.

**Tsukasa:... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!**

{Tsukasa loads a card}

**ATTACK RIDE: JET SLINGER!**

{Tsukasa hops on a massive motorcycle that jets toward Kaito, firing a photon cannon at him. Kaito moves Shukawa in the path of the cannon and she is blown to pieces by the blast.}

**Kaito: WHAT THE [EFF!]!?**

**Tsukasa: Now for you...**

{Tsukasa swerves around on the Jet Slinger, causing the Faiz Driver to fly out of his hands and right to Takumi, who commands Auto Vajin to come and rescue him and Yuri. Tsukasa fired a missile at Kaito, which split into eight mini-missiles. Kaito dodges the missiles and brings out two cards to load}

**KAMEN RIDE: ARC! TOUKI!**

{Kaito summons Arc to hold down Jet Slinger while he summons Touki to knock Tsukasa out of the controls. The two remaining Orphnochs gather around him and Tsukasa, though Jet Slinger automatically fired its remaining missiles at the group, exploding everywhere. As the smoke cleared, Kaito was gone and the Orphnochs received heavy enough damage to retreat. Tsukasa, in the meanwhile, was knocked out of his transformation.}

 **Tsukasa:** Ah... Arg...

* * *

{Meanwhile, Yuri and Takumi drive off}

 **Yuri:** Could you stop please?

 **Takumi:** But-

 **Yuri:** _Stop!_

 **Takumi:** Fine!

{He stops the bike and Yuri gets off}

 **Yuri:** How long were you one?

 **Takumi:**...

 **Yuri:** How long!?

 **Takumi:** When... When I was a kid...

 **Yuri:** What? You... You were one all this time?

 **Takumi:** Yes... But... I'm still the person you know! There's nothing wrong with me!

{He tries to touch her shoulder, but she slaps his hand away}

 **Yuri:** Leave me alone, monster!

 **Takumi:** ... I see. It's only natural for humans to have a prejudice towards Orphnochs... I... I'm sorry.

{Takumi rides off while Tsukasa watches from afar and shadows him}

* * *

{le river of miscommunication}

 **Takumi:** I'm an Orphnoch... This belt is useless to me now!

{He tosses it into the river}

 **Tsukasa:** Uh, you _do_ realize that the belt would have been useless if you _weren't_ an Orphnoch, right?

{Takumi turns and sees Tsukasa on the same bridge and notices his suit was ruined}

 **Takumi:** You... You knew?

 **Tsukasa:** I always have. Name was a dead giveaway.

 **Takumi:** So how come you haven't resented me like the rest?

 **Tsukasa:** Because... I might be an Orphnoch myself. Or maybe I am another monster entirely.

 **Takumi:** Figures. Only Orphnochs would support other Orphnochs.

 **Tsukasa:** I know exactly what it's like to be rejected by your world. Heck, worlds reject me all the time, so it's like clock work. But... It's my dream to find my world, so I take pictures.

 **Takumi:** You're a photographer?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. Though... my photos are bad. They're a sign that it's not my world... When my photos improve, then I'll know if it's my world.

 **Takumi:** Your... world?

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, you might want to cover your head.

{He sees Donald Duck running onto the bridge}

 **Donald Duck:** WAAAAAAAK! YOU MENTIONED WORLD! THAT MEANS YOU'RE MEDDLING!

 **Tsukasa:** The word's been mentioned all the time and you haven't raged about it.

 **Donald Duck:** BUT YOU WERE GONNA TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT! SO THAT MEANS YOU WERE MEDDLING! THAT'S BAD! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

{Donald's head explodes}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh boy. More duck for dinner. You wanna come over for dinner, Takumi?

 **Takumi:** No thanks... I think I'm gonna just go...

{Takumi leaves}

 **Tsukasa:** More for me then.

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Natsumi:** Wait, since when did we have Faiz's belt?

 **Tsukasa:** During this scene change. I love doing stuff off-screen. It just confuses the audience.

 **Yuri:** I... I still can't believe it...

 **Yuusuke:** A bigger question is what this girl is doing here.

 **Tsukasa:** Again, gotta love being off-screen to do all this stuff in a short and unexplainable amount of time.

 **Yuri:** Why would Faiz attack his fellow Orphnoch?

 **Tsukasa:** The belt was made by Orphnochs to counter Orphnochs. It's an insurance policy to them.

 **Yuri:** Why... Why did Takumi hide the fact that he was an Orphnoch...

{She opens a photo book}

 **Yuri:** These smiles... they're... they're all lies!

{She tosses the book away}

 **Tsukasa:** If you were in Wizard's World, yes. That face would have been fake. If it was Kabuto's World, the face would try to act like it's the truth, but it'd still be fake. But this is Faiz's World. You could take five hundred and fifty five pictures of Takumi's face, and it'd be a different one every time... But they all share one common theme. The same could be true for photographs. Isn't that why we're aspiring photographers, Yuri?

 **Yuri:** Tsu... Tsukasa...

 **Natsumi:** Uh, Tsukasa, wasn't the reason for you being a photographer was so that you could capture your world?

 **Tsukasa:** Shush... I want to... photograph Takumi's face.

{Suddenly, slash fic warning signs blare}

* * *

{Takumi stares at yet another river, then Kaito shows up}

 **Kaito:** I've finally found you!

 **Takumi:** I'm sorry for making you look for me...

 **Kaito** : No, it was really simple. I just summon Odin to spy on all possible reflections to try and find you. Gotta hand it to my fans, they can utilize me in better ways than the show can ever do.

 **Takumi:** It's because I just can't care about anything anymore.

 **Kaito:** Well, life's a bitch then you marry one. Did you ever expect the rejection from your peers because of you being an Orphnoch though, Takumi?

 **Takumi:** I can't even remember what was so important, so worth protecting...

 **Kaito:** Most Riders experience that. I felt that way too once... Did you know that? Wait, this is starting to sound familiar...

 **Takumi:** Hope and despair-

{Takumi gets a dope slap from Kaito}

 **Kaito:** The moment we make this a Magical Girl show is the moment I shoot myself. Enough chit chat, where the [EFF!]'s the belt?

{He points the DienDriver at Takumi}

 **Takumi:** Who knows... Who cares?

 **Kaito:** I do! Now give me the belt!

{He shoots at Takumi, who transforms into his Orphnoch form}

 **Kaito:** Oh crap, not that form! Not that form!

{He runs off as Takumi pursues him. He turns around and fires at Takumi, knocking him over}

 **Kaito:** But still, you're just an Orphnoch. Now, what happened with the belt?

 **Takumi:** I threw it away.

 **Kaito:** Bull. The belt is too valuable to be thrown away.

 **Tsukasa:** It's true. And look, SMART BRAIN.

{Tsukasa arrives, holding the belt in the briefcase}

 **Kaito:** You...

{Points his gun at Tsukasa}

 **Kaito:** Not one step closer, destroyer!

 **Tsukasa:** Ah crap, this again? Well, I always wanted to fight-

{Tsukasa brings out his Ride Booker, but Kaito shoots it off Tsukasa... then shoots it constantly until it comes to his hands}

 **Kaito:** This may not be a good treasure... but if it stops you from destroying everything this early in the show...

{Then a gray wall swallows Tsukasa and Narutaki emerges}

 **Narutaki:** Thank you. I had doubts about you, but it seems we see eye to eye.

 **Kaito:** Narutaki...

 **Narutaki:** Now I shall personally destroy the devil before the belt drives him more.

{He and Tsukasa disappear}

 **Kaito:** THAT ASSHOLE HAD MY TREASURE THOUGH!

 **Natsumi:** Is that all you care about?

{Kaito sees Natsumi coming at the bridge too}

 **Kaito:** What concern is it of yours?

 **Takumi:** Um... Hello? I'm still here.

 **Natsumi:** Yuri left the shop, go find her.

 **Takumi:** Okay.

{Takumi leaves}

 **Natsumi:** Kaito... That boy has something more important and valuable than the Faiz Gear.

 **Kaito:** Really? Tell me, what is more valuable than the power to become Faiz?

 **Natsumi:** Save Tsukasa. He's good with the pointing out of valuable treasures.

 **Kaito:**... Fine.

* * *

{le high school}

 **Yuri:** Ah! Found my camera!

{She turns around and sees students fleeing, as well as some of them having ash emerge from them and dying at the hands of Genda while Momose stands next to him.}

 **Momose:** With Faiz gone, attacking the school has never been easier!

 **Yuri:** You!

 **Momose:** Up until now, humanity had rejected us and had Faiz murder our kind, all because we were different! But no more! We shall rule over humanity so that Orphnochs can live in a world without fear!

 **Genda:** Wait, you mean we actually had a motive other than being a generic villain who wants to take over the world? 

**Momose:** Of course!

* * *

{le beaches}

 **Narutaki:** Decade... you've awakened finally... Now I shall destroy you before you destroy the worlds!

 **Tsukasa:** What are you talking about?

 **Narutaki:** You don't remember, do you? No matter. You will still die! COME FORTH, RYUGA!

{Ryuga emerges from the dimensional wall}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Kivara:** Welcome home, Yuusuke!

 **Yuusuke:** I think I'm finally gonna do something useful for once! Urk!

{He gets knocked out by Kaito, who then grabs Kivara}

 **Kaito:** I know your true form!

 **Kivara:** Really? 

**Kaito:** Yeah! And it's not a toy on a string!

 **Kivara:** Teehee... Well, I guess I shall drop the act for now. 

{Kivara bites her way out of Kaito's hand and hovers around, now in CGI}

 **Kivara:** What is it you wish of me? 

**Kaito:** Take me to your master!

 **Kivara:** Why would you want what? 

**Kaito:** Because he has something I want.

 **Kivara:** Tsukasa? 

**Kaito:** Yes and no. Tsukasa can show me a far greater treasure than the belt. I need to save him though.

 **Kivara:** So... you regard him as a means to an end?

 **Kaito:** Yes. He was always a means to an end. If he can lead me to a valuable treasure, then so be it.

 **Kivara:** Of course he is... You know who else thought that? Ryusei. And we all know how _that_ ended...

 **Kaito:** I am nothing like him or any of the other Riders!

 **Kivara:** You look out for yourself... That is the quality found in nearly every Rival Rider. You say you're different and yet you still follow that path... When will you regret it? When will you scream out his name in the rain?

 **Kaito:** Never! Just take me to your master!

 **Kivara:** Is that what you wish? How would you like to betray all conventions of the path set before you?

 **Kaito:** If it means fighting on my own... Then... I accept!

 **Kivara:** Good... Behold the first broken convention.

{Kivara glows brightly as they get taken to the other world}

* * *

{le beach}

 **Narutaki:** And this is where you shall die, Decade!

{A wall emerges as Kaito shoots through it}

 **Narutaki:** Why do you interfere?

 **Kaito:** Because I need Tsukasa.

 **Narutaki:** Oh... I didn't know-

 **Kaito:** Not like that! I need him to show me something!

 **Narutaki:** Okay, I get it, but seriously, he'll blow up the world. This isn't the time to romance-

 **Kaito:** OH FOR [EFF!]'S SAKE! I JUST STATED I DON'T WANNA BE INTERPRETED THIS WAY! Screw it, your soldier is gonna die.

** KAMEN RIDE: **

**Kaito:** HENSHIN!

{Kaito fires at Ryuga's face}

** DIEND!  **

{He transforms and fights Ryuga. After a bit of fighting, Ryuga draws a card and places it in his visor.}

** ADVENT! **

{Dragblacker flies to him. Kaito chuckles and draws his own card.}

 **Kaito:** **Heh, behold my broken convention! A dragon rider for a dragon rider...**

{He inserts it into the Driver}

**KAMEN RIDE: WIZARD!**

{Kaito fires an illusional Wizard towards Ryuga, much to Narutaki's shock}

 **Narutaki:** But... how?!

**Kaito: If you and the others won't follow your paths in this abridgement, then I won't either.**

{He draws a card and puts it in his Driver}

** FINAL FORM RIDE: WI- WI- WI-WIZARD! **

**Kaito: The pain you'll feel will be nothing compared to the pain your enemy will feel.**

{He fires at Wizard, which caused him to explode in a purple mist. In his place was his Phantom, Dragon, who gave out a roar. As this happened...}

** FINAL VENT! **

{Ryuga's Dragblacker flies around him as he levitates in the air. Kaito draws a card and activates the final attack}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE: WI- WI- WI-WIZARD! **

{Kaito leaps into the air as Dragon merges with his foot and creates a giant boot. He Rider Kicks Ryuga right into Dragblacker and blows the both of them up, all while Dragon fades away. The two are transported away as Narutaki laughs}

 **Narutaki:** AHAHAHAHA! You're foolish to think you can defy your path! YOU'VE DOOMED YOURSELF, DIEND!

* * *

{back at the river}

 **Kaito:** Tsukasa, is there something more valuable than Faiz's belt?

 **Tsukasa:** Hm...

{The two hear screaming}

 **Tsukasa:** Follow me.

{The two rush off}

* * *

{At the school, Takumi rushes in to fight the Orphnoch, though he gets beaten up}

 **Genda:** Traitor... I'll be sure to destroy you. 

{He steps further to Takumi, only for Yuri to run in front of him.}

 **Yuri:** Wait!

 **Takumi:** Yuri!

{Genda smacks Yuri away, knocking her camera onto the ground}

 **Momose:** Genda... Crush that camera.

 **Genda:** Why? It's just a small object!

{Around this moment, Tsukasa and Kaito arrive, though Kaito pulled Tsukasa into the bushes and shushed him}

 **Momose:** It gives that pitiful human hope. Crush it and you crush her hopes.

 **Genda:** Fine.

{He tries to stomp on it, but Takumi runs and [holds his leg up](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s)}

 **Takumi:** This isn't her hope! This is her dream! When... When I became an Orphnoch, I had nothing to look forward to... No dream of mine to achieve. But... Yuri's dream became important to me... That's why I became Faiz... I don't have a dream... But I can protect them!

 **Genda:** You are just as pathetic as the humans!

{Genda knocks him away and proceeds toward Yuri}

 **Genda:** Watch as your dreams crumble into ash!

{He gets shot at by Tsukasa and Kaito}

 **Tsukasa:** FOR THE OVERLORD'S SAKE, YOU GUYS ARE NOT [EFF!]ING PHANTOMS! Maybe _that's_ why humanity resents your kind! You go around killing people and expect to be loved!

 **Momose:** Who are you to decide humanity's stance on us? Identify yourself, outsider!

 **Tsukasa:** Just a passing through Kamen Rider... Remembe- hey, can you do me something?

 **Momose:** ...What?

 **Tsukasa:** I mean, I know it's you and all that, so...

{Tsukasa goes over and hands Momose the Decade card}

 **Tsukasa:** Could you do that thing?

 **Momose:** What thing?

 **Tsukasa:** You know! Shout out my name? Toss me the card so I can transform? Ska music playing in the background?

 **Momose:** I don't even...

 **Kaito:** Tsukasa, he's not Ankh. Let it go.

{Kaito takes the card from Momose and hands it to Tsukasa, then takes out the Faiz Driver and hands it to Takumi. The three ready their drivers.

 **Kaito:** My story begins here!

 **Takumi:** A white tomorrow awaits us!

 **Tsukasa:** Remember that!

** KAMEN RIDE: **

** 555! STANDIN' BY! **

**Kaito, Tsukasa, and Takumi:** HENSHIN!

** DIEND! **

** COMPLETE! **

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{[Cue Song](http://youtu.be/kaurWYl1nmQ?t=24s)}

{The three transform into their respective forms and proceed to fight the Orphnochs}

 **Momose:** A traitor and two humans? That won't be enough to defeat us!

 **Tsukasa:** **Oh yeah!?**

{Tsukasa and Takumi get out their swords ( **READY!** ) and execute their attacks}

** EXCEED CHARGE! **

** ATTACK RIDE: SLASH! **

{The two send their slashes towards Momose, but Genda gets in the way and takes the blow, dying in the process. Momose is stunned at first, but then he laughs}

 **Momose:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DO YOU THINK I CARE IF MY BRETHREN ARE KILLED!? I CAN JUST BRING THEM BACK!

{He revives the four Orphnoch killed throughout this arc, now as mindless zombies}

 **Tsukasa:** **Is this how you want to rule humanity? By inducing a zombie apocalypse? **

**Momose:** They'll fear us either way! Faiz! If you win, you will still face the fact that you're an Orphnoch and your impact on society!

**Takumi: I don't care! So long as I protect the people I love and the dreams I cherish, I won't fight as a monster. I won't fight as Faiz... I'll fight as me!**

{Tsukasa soon gains the Faiz cards}

 **Tsukasa:** **This _will_ tickle. **

** FINAL FORM RIDE: FA- FA- FA-FAIZ! **

{Tsukasa transforms Takumi into a blaster and fires at the undead Orphnoch, only for them to reform bigger and stronger}

 **Kaito:** **Tsukasa, let's finish this together!**

{As he said that, he loads three cards}

**KAMEN RIDE: KIVA**

** FINAL FORM RIDE: KI- KI- KI-KIVA **

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE: KI- KI- KI-KIVA **

{Kiva is summoned, only to be turned into the Kiva Arrow}

**Tsukasa: Alright! **

{He slides in his own card}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE: FA- FA- FA-FAIZ! **

{The two ready their blasts}

**Kybat: KIVATTE... IKUZE!**

{And the two fire at the Orphnoch, destroying them for good, save for one heavily wounded (and by that I mean on blue fire) Orphnoch who returned to his human form. Faiz changes back to his rider form}

 **Momose:** Wh... Why? How could we have been beaten.

**Tsukasa: Because, we're Son- **

**Takumi: Because we each have a dream. A dream that will never sever. **

**Tsukasa: Yeah, sure, let's go with that.**

**Momose:** Heh... I... I had a dream too... A dream where we wouldn't be discriminated... A dream where humans and Orphnoch would be together... The more I looked at it, the more I realized the dream was impossible. Even when that man promised our kind so much... He disappeared before he made good on it...

**Tsukasa: Wait...**

{flashback}

 ** _Beetle Dude:_** _I used to follow a King once... He promised a unified world... Say... He... looks sort of like you... Could it be..._

{flashback end}

**Tsukasa: _(It can't be...)_**

**Takumi: If that is your dream, then I will gratefully share it.**

{Takumi inches towards and gives his hand to Momose, who slaps it away}

 **Momose:** No... I'm not the hand you should hold on to. A dream is the same as a curse... If you fail to achieve it, you will be forever cursed... And... My curse is... heavy...

{Momose soon crumbles into dust. Takumi dehenshins, but to his Orphnoch form}

**Tsukasa: Uh, dude? You-**

**Takumi:** I know.

{Takumi picks up Yuri's camera and hands it to her. He then turns around and leaves.}

 **Yuri:** Wait! You said you'd protect my dreams, right? Then please stay with me until I release our photobook! I've seen only a fraction of the faces you've yet to present! I want to capture them all and preserve them!

{She runs over and hugs Takumi, who transforms back to his human form}

 **Takumi:** Yu... Yuri...

{Takumi can see the students chatter amongst themselves. He smiled}

 **Takumi:** _(Don't worry... Your dream will be achieved. I shall protect it.)_

{Tsukasa demorphs}

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, where's Kaito?

* * *

{Kaito is at some random ruins, picking up Orga's belt}

 **Kaito:** Well, this must be what the girl was talking about.

{Tsukasa soon arrives}

 **Tsukasa:** Uh, Kaito, what the heck are you doing?

 **Kaito:** I found my treasure. The girl was right, you _did_ lead me to treasure!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, I did?

 **Kaito:** Yeah! This is the Emperor's Belt from _Paradise Lost_! I get to look like a badass pirate if I was an Orphnoch! Thanks for the treasure!

{He proceeds to leave}

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, Kaito, do you want to travel with us?

 **Kaito:** ... No. I alone decide where I travel. Who knows, maybe we'll meet again. Until then, please eat some sea cucumbers.

{He leaves the area, leaving Tsukasa to be a bit irritated.}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Tsukasa:** So I practically had to do nothing to get the kid to accept himself.

 **Natsumi:** Really? Nothing? I'm sure you did something to spurn him. Did you say anything to him?

 **Tsukasa:** Not really... I just told him about my world and my... dreams... Holy crap, I _did_ talk him into doing something.

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, you told him about your world?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. And I have the duck to prove it.

{He points to a headless Donald Duck}

 **Eijiro:** Oh boy! More duck!

{He picks up the body and chugs it to the kitchen}

 **Tsukasa:** I... Might be discovering more about my world though.

 **Natsumi:** Oh?

 **Tsukasa:** Right before we got banished from Kiva's World, Wataru's father told me how a man promised him a unified world... That kid at the school also said the same thing... One of them noted that the man looked like me...

 **Natsumi:** A unified world? What does _that_ mean?

 **Tsukasa:** Bad news if it means a world where Orphnoch, Fangires, and humans all lived in the same world... And yet, Wataru and Takumi proved me wrong. Who knows... Maybe I had that same ideal at one point.

 **Natsumi:** Speaking of which, what about Kaito?

 **Tsukasa:** He's out of our hair. I'm sure we'll never hear from him agai-

{Agito's World's painting scrolls down with a letter on it}

 **Eijiro:** Oh hey, it's a letter from that Kaito fellow!

 **Tsukasa:** OH OVERLORD DAMN IT!

 **Natsumi:** Hey, I just noticed... Where's Kivara?

* * *

{Meanwhile, in the cave at Kuuga's World}

 **Narutaki:** KIVARA!

{Kivara flies in as the toy on a string}

 **Kivara:** Myes, milord? 

{Kivara gets grabbed}

 **Narutaki:** You had something to do with Kaito gaining powers beyond his comprehension, didn't you!?

 **Kivara:** You mean those new cards he has? Yes. I have given him those powers.

 **Narutaki:** Why did you do it? Do you understand that this Kaito is aware of the fact that this is an abridged series?

 **Kivara:** I know. But he was begging like a doggy. I just couldn't resist giving him a little treat. Besides, with the Destroyer in Decade awakening, Kaito needs all the firepower he can get.

 **Narutaki:** ... You have a point on that last part. Try not to step on my toes again. After all, you are still just my faithful servant.

{Narutaki fades away into the gray wall}

 **Kivara:** ... I prefer the term 'student'...

{Kivara's eyes briefly shift to a purple shade}

{To Be Continued}


	12. Guren No Yuusuke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently we're retreading Kuuga... but with Agito elements thrown in... and Yashiro had a dose of hot-bloodedness...
> 
> Meanwhile, the jury is out on whether Gills is a monster or Rider. That and Yuusuke skips town for some Ane-san goodness... And that Tsukasa fights a hobo. Also Kaito pilots G3-X... which doesn't really seem to hurt the Grongi all that much.

**Narrator:** So far on Kamen Rider Decade!

 **Psyga:** Uh, Narrator? What are you doing?

 **Narrator:** Recapping Decade!

 **Psyga:** I usually skip these parts since I assume that by this point, the reader will already know what the heck is going on.

 **Narrator:** Well, viewers could be goldfish!

 **Psyga:** Yeah, but the heroes practically state their goal all the damn time. “Save the nine worlds!” “Get that treasure!” “Stop Decade from being the Devil!” Why the need for a pointless recap?

 **Narrator:** Point taken... How about a recap of Yuusuke’s relationship with that one character who only appeared in the first three episodes?

 **Psyga:** You mean Yashiro? The cop who was a friend to Yuusuke and died by the end of the Kuuga Arc? Readers might have forgotten about her. Why do you bring it up?

 **Narrator:** {Trollface.jpg} You’ll find out...

* * *

{Our episode begins with cops driving and confronting the Grongi... wait, what?}

 **Police:** We’ve located Unidentified Being #47-

{Cut to Tsukasa and the gang watching TV}

 **Tsukasa:** Woah woah woah woah woah! We’re acknowledging the connection between Agito and Kuuga?

 **Yuusuke:** What connection?

 **Tsukasa:** You know! According to the documents, Kuuga and Agito took place in the same universe! Heck, it was mentioned in Agito!

* * *

{Flashback to the second episode of Kamen Rider Agito}

 **Hikawa:** So yeah, I totally chumped out to that jaguar dude, but this guy who looks like #4 came and kicked his ass!

 **Ozawa:** Who’s #4?

 **Hikawa:** Uh... I mean... Those jaguar dudes referred to him as Agito... So... yeah? Does that work?

 **Ozawa:** Sure. Let’s go with that.

* * *

**Yuusuke:** So we’re in my world again? There’s so many things I have to ask! Why are monsters still attacking my world? Didn’t I kill their leader?

 **Tsukasa:** Actually, this doesn’t make sense. If this was Agito’s World, how come it’s separate from Kuuga’s World, yet has the nod that they were indeed connected?

 **Natsumi:** I think I have a theory. All the worlds we went to had some sort of ‘kink’.

 **Tsukasa:** You know, that actually makes sense. Kuuga was interpreted by a fansub group and was a thirteen episode offshoot akin to some unofficial Sentai show, Kiva was a replay of Vampire: The Masquerade gone horribly wrong, Ryuki was what happened if you blended it with Phoenix Wright, Blade took an office setting and Faiz... Yeah, High School alternate universe... So are you saying we’ve been stepping into fan fiction this whole time?

 **Natsumi:** Could be... If we view this world like a fanfic, it might be the author’s way of interpreting how Kuuga would interact with Agito by merging the two canons together.

 **Tsukasa:** Yuusuke! You might actually have use after all!

 **Yuusuke:** YES! Wait, if this is supposed to be Agito’s World with Kuuga elements, where’s Kuuga? I mean, besides me?

 **Eijiro:** Great! Now the channel’s stuck on VR Troopers!

{G3-X comes into battle on the TV}

 **Yuusuke:** Who’s this knock off!? That’s supposed to be Kuuga?

 **Natsumi:** Sort of. It’s supposed to be based off _you_ in case you weren’t around when monsters continued to attack. And they did. ... Okay, it’s confusing, but if you understand-

 **Yuusuke:** WHAT THE SHI-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

{Back at the Photo Studio, they witness G3-X throwing a car at the Grongi}

 **Yuusuke:** They thought their solution to me being gone is some robot that’s bound to hurt more people?

 **Natsumi:** Okay, one, we don’t even know if Kuuga existed in this world and if he is, it’s certainly not you and two, not a robot. It’s a guy in a suit.

 **Yuusuke:** Then why am I hearing robotic whirs?

 **Natsumi:** What would you want a person in heavy robotic armor to sound like?

 **Yuusuke:** Definitely not someone who decides his next response is to use a freaking gatling gun!

{And the TV shows exactly that, with G3-X losing control of the gun and shooting everywhere}

 **Natsumi:** Alright, I think I see where you’re coming from. If this was some big Hollywood blockbuster, that would have caused heavy property damage and countless lives being lost but never being addressed... And a broken neck.

 **Tsukasa:** Hahaha... Oh wow... They don’t need you if _this_ is what they is what they have for protection!

 **TV Announcer:** People wonder if the G3-X unit is really a wise idea, so interviewers go over to the police headquarters, where the chief of this unit, Yashiro Toko...

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san?!

{Yuusuke runs to the TV}

 **Yuusuke:** Guys, it’s my Ane-san!

{TV Shows Yashiro on TV}

 **Interviewer (on the TV):** Yashiro, do you think G3-X is overkill?

 **Yuusuke:** Ooooh... She’s so graceful! So kind! So gentle!

**Yashiro (on the TV): _SHUT THE [EFF!] UP! G3-X IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY AND IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME THEN SHOVE A LEEK UP YOUR ARSE!_**

**Interviewer (on the TV):** The nerve-breaking bullets police have developed seemed to help against the Grongi. Why bother with G3-X?

 **Yashiro (on the TV):** For how long!? Before you know it, the Grongi will develop super Matrix-like bullcrap and blow up bullets before they even reach their damn forehead!

**Kivara:** Okay, excuse me for not being cryptic, but who the heck is this Ane-

**Yuusuke:** RIDERSTFU!

{Yuusuke swats Kivara like a fly. Natsumi picks her up}

 **Natsumi:** Well, to recap for the audience, Yashiro was this detective-

 **Psyga:** We already told the audience in the beginning.

 **Natsumi:** Oh... Well... crap.

 **Tsukasa:** Makes sense. I mean, if this world is meant to be like Kuuga’s World, it’d only be natural to have a Yashiro in Agito’s World too... Oooh, wonder if there was a Yashiro in every world... Like Nurse Joy...

 **Yuusuke:** Ane-san is Ane-san! I gotta go meet her!

{And so he runs out. Tsukasa chases after him, but Natsumi notices something}

 **Natsumi:** You’re a mailman!

 **Tsukasa:** A mailman? What the heck? What does being a mailman have to do with Agito? At least when I was a lawyer or salary man, I was right into the fray and working alongside the Rider I’m supposed to motivate and befriend.

 **Natsumi:** Maybe you have a letter to deliver to him?

{Tsukasa looks in his pocket and sees that he does indeed have a letter}

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, so I do.

* * *

{Meanwhile, Yuusuke is in the police HQ parking lot}

 **Yashiro:** **_IF YOU QUIT BEING G3-X THEN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO DIE!_**

 **Shinji:** BUT YASHIRO! I DON’T WANT TO GET INTO THE ROBOT!

 **Yashiro:** Too bad! You’re getting into the robot whether you like it or not!

 **Shinji:** I just cause destruction to people care about! I don’t want to do that!

 **Yashiro:** You want to quit, Shinji? Fine! Quit! You were a 43 outta a hundred anyways!

{Shinji runs off crying}

 **Gendo:** Great! Now who’s gonna pilot G3-X? Maybe it’d be better if we went back to the nerve-breaking bullets.

 **Yashiro:** **_NO! G3-X IS NEEDED! IT IS THE BEST THING SINCE SANTA CHRIST!_**

 **Yuusuke:** Hey! I could pilo-

 **Gendo:** You _do_ realize that no one left in the police can pilot it, right?

 **Yuusuke:** I just said I want to-

 **Yashiro:** We’ll just get recruits then.

 **Yuusuke:** But I’m volunteering! You have a recruit already!

 **Gendo:** But how are we going to find out how to get the right user?

 **Yuusuke:** HELLO! I’M STANDING. RIGHT. HERE!

 **Yashiro:** Oh. Okay, this kid’s accepted.

 **Yuusuke:** YES!

**Yashiro: _BUT ONLY IF HE GOES THROUGH RIGOROUS TRAINING FROM THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF HELL!_**

* * *

{Cue him and five people on treadmills}

 **Yashiro:** **_YOU MAGGOTS ARE HUMANITY’S LAST HOPE OF SURVIVAL! THOSE UNIDENTIFIED LIFEFORMS WILL LEARN THAT THEY ARE THE FOOD AND WE ARE THE HUNTERS!_**

 **Takashi:** I can’t take anymore hot-blooded speeches!

 **Ross:** Please! I just want to go home and cuddle with my teddy bear!

 **Gendo:** Goddamn it, Ross- I mean Yashiro! You started the treadmills with too much speed.

 **Yashiro:** Damn it... only _he_ could do it right...

 **Gendo:** Did I just hear foreshadowing from your mouth?

 **Yashiro:** Um... No sir!

 **Gendo:** Good. You know that this show can’t handle foreshadowing to save its life.

 **Yashiro:** Yes sir.

 **Yuusuke:** I don’t mind this speed!

 **Kaito:** Neither do I! In fact, more speed!

 **Yuusuke:** WHAT THE-

{Blip}

 **Yuusuke:** More speed for me too!

{Blip}

 **Kaito:** Okay, I’m just gonna stop before we rip off _Mr. Woodcock._

* * *

{le locker room}

 **Yuusuke:** Kaito, what the heck are you doing here? The last time I saw you, you judo chopped my neck!

 **Kaito:** Really sorry about that. To make up for it, I shall welcome you to Agito’s World.

 **Yuusuke:** Tsukasa already introduced me to it.

 **Kaito:** OH GODDAMN IT!

{Yuusuke puts his clothes in a locker, but Yashiro breaks in}

**Yashiro: _DON’T YOU DARE USE THIS LOCKER! USE THIS ONE INSTEAD!_**

{Puts his clothes in another locker}

 **Yashiro:** Now let’s whip you people into shape! Yuusuke, get into the robot!

* * *

{Yuusuke tries, but he fails to even walk}

 **Yashiro:** **_Weak! I WILL NOT ACCEPT WEAKLINGS IN MY HOUSE!_**

 **Kaito:** That suit is too much for him. Let me try it.

{Soon, Kaito tries on the suit and manages to move much smoother than Yuusuke}

 **Yashiro:** Amazing! With strength like that, we could-

 **Kaito:** Subjugate the weak?

 **Yashiro:** ... You’re hired!

 **Kaito:** Nice!

* * *

{le abandoned house}

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, let’s find Agito, tell him to stop being a wuss or a jerk, and go.

 **Natsumi:** Hey, Kaito said he’d be in this world too... Should we pop by and say hello?

 **Tsukasa:** I don’t really give a crap about what he does. Hey! Shouichi! You in there!?

 **Natsumi:** Uh, Tsukasa? This is a rundown house. How the hell is he here?

 **Tsukasa:** Wataru lived in a worn down house. Chances are Shouichi does too.

 **Natsumi:** Wait, what’s with us referring to them by their first names? Don’t we have some honorific system or something?

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, can you stop with the questions? We might wind up like this apple.

{He tosses Natsumi a twisted apple}

 **Natsumi:** The apple is twis-

 **Tsukasa:** No shi-

{And they get pushed aside by telekinesis powers}

 **Tsukasa:** Crap! I forgot Agitos are psychic!

 **Shouichi:** What are you people doing at my house?

 **Tsukasa:** We got mail-

 **Shouichi:** Leave.

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, he’s being a dick... but he’s sort of like Wataru in the sense that he’s also a wuss...

{Just then an Ant Lord appears}

 **Shouichi:** Damn it! I just paid off last week’s exterminator fee!

 **Natsumi:** Grongi!

 **Tsukasa:** ...

{Tsukasa face palms as he slaps on his belt}

 **Tsukasa:** Henshin!

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{Tsukasa transforms and throws the Ant Lord outside.}

 **Shouichi:** He transformed?

 **Natsumi:** Uh, yeah... He just said he’d transform.

 **Shouichi:** No. He said Henshin. Not Transform.

 **Natsumi:** That’s the same thing though!

 **Shouichi:** No it’s not!

 **Natsumi:** Why not?

 **Shouichi:** Because Henshin is Japanese.

 **Natsumi:** ...

{She facepalms}

* * *

{Cut to a field where Tsukasa fights the Ant Lord}

**Tsukasa: Even though you’re not a Grongi, I wanna teach you a new Gegeru! Henshin!**

{Tsukasa gets out a card and puts it in the Driver}

**KAMEN RIDE: FAIZ!**

{He transforms into Faiz and slashes at the Ant Lord with his Ride Booker in sword form}

**Tsukasa: I’m getting bored now.**

{Tsukasa puts in a card}

**ATTACK RIDE: FAIZ EDGE!**

{Tsukasa gains the Faiz Edge and slashes a red wave at the Ant Lord, holding him in place. He then places one more card}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DE-DE- DE-DECADE!**

{Ten golden cards align in front of the Ant Lord as Tsukasa rushes through them and slashes both the Ride Booker and the Faiz Edge, both blades enlarged and digitized, destroying the Ant Lord. Tsukasa then demorphs.}

 **Tsukasa:** That takes care of that.

 **Shouichi:** It’s gonna be big trouble once they target you.

 **Tsukasa:** I’ll manage.

 **Shouichi:** No. I mean, big!

{He shows Tsukasa his exterminator bill.}

 **Tsukasa:** Ooooh... Well, I’ll just go over to my job at BOARD and OOOOOOOH WAAAAAIIIIIT...

 **Shouichi:** Just go. Run away and never come back.

 **Tsukasa:** Not without giving you this.

{Tsukasa hands Shouichi the letter}

 **Shouichi:** This thing’s a year old... What’s the point now?

{He was about to rip it in two when Gentaro comes over and grabs his hand}

 **Gentaro:** HEY! Read the damn letter, man! Think about how much care and effort that person put into writing that letter!

 **Tsukasa:** What the heck? No, seriously, what the heck is he doing here?

 **Gentaro:** I’m gonna make sure he reads this letter or my name isn’t Kisaragi Genta-

{He gets blown up by a magic symbolic cross attack}

**Taurus:** My work is done...

{He leaves}

 **Tsukasa:** What the heck was that?

{And then Shouichi rips the letter in two}

 **Shouichi:** And don’t ever come back.

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Natsumi:** And we just left?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

 **Natsumi:** Without even trying to read the letter?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

 **Natsumi:** And not questioning how Gentaro managed to cross over into this world?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

 **Natsumi:** Or who that cow that blown Gentaro to smithereens was?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

 **Natsumi:** Are you listening to me?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

 **Natsumi:** Are you _not_ listening to me?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah.

{Thumb jab}

 **Tsukasa:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 **Yuusuke:** I’ve finally decided! I’m staying in this world! I was selected to be G3-X!

 **Tsukasa:** The robot you decried earlier?

 **Yuusuke:** Yeah!

 **Tsukasa:** You _do_ realize the only reason you even decided to go was because Yashiro was there.

 **Yuusuke:** ... Screw you, man. I probably would have joined regardless.

 **Tsukasa:** Suuuuuure you wouuuuld... Look, I apparently know that you’re just backup.

 **Yuusuke:** How?

 **Tsukasa:** ... Shut up.

 **Natsumi:** Well that sucks. I thought you’d be travelling with us for the remainder of the trip.

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, can you count how many times Yuusuke has become useful on our trip without realizing you’re just counting with only one hand?

 **Natsumi:** Well... He helped Wataru reclaim the throne.

 **Tsukasa:** Really?

* * *

{Flashback to Yuusuke getting beaten up by Fangires}

**Yuusuke:** **OH GOD EVERYTHING HURTS!**

* * *

**Natsumi:** I mean after! He also helps with setting the jerk riders straight!

 **Tsukasa:** Relax! I can handle that shit just fine.

 **Eijiro:** Would you still join us for dinner, Yuusuke?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh sure, he’ll cross through space and time just to enjoy blown up Donald Duck cooked to perfection.

 **Eijiro:** But we can stay! There’s lots of good vegetables here!

 **Tsukasa:** ... You know... Screw it. We’re staying! I _did_ say that Agito’s World was fun.

 **Natsumi:** Wait, shouldn’t we try to go through the other worlds and save them and mine?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, I just told you how much that sucked back in Blade’s World, which is probably the best World right now.

 **Yuusuke:** Welp, I’m out. I’m indebted to you all, so feel free to take advantage of that!

 **Tsukasa:** Yuusuke! Be my personal bit-

{Yuusuke runs out the Photo Studio}

 **Tsukasa:** Aaaaw...

* * *

{Yuusuke gets on his motorcycle, though Natsumi stops him from leaving}

 **Natsumi:** So are you _really_ ditching us for a woman just because she’s an alternate Yashiro?

 **Yuusuke:** The thing is... I wasn’t able to save Ane-san... But with _this_ Yashiro... I feel like I can do it.

{He drives off. Natsumi smiles, then turns around to see Tsukasa reading the ripped letter}

 **Natsumi:** Tsukasa! What the hell?

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, these damn letters are always plot important... Yep! This one just spilled the plot’s beans for us! Let’s show it to Shouichi and get him to stop being a dick!

* * *

{le police station}

 **Police:** We’ve located Unidentified Being #48 and #49!

 **Yashiro:** Kaito, this will be the day you’re waiting for.

 **Kaito:** This is the day I’ll open up the door?

 **Yashiro:** I don’t wanna hear your absolutions!

 **Kaito:** Hope you’re ready for a revolution.

 **Yashiro:** God bless you, kid! You’ll make a great hot-blooded rider! Get out there and make mama proud!

 **Kaito:** Roger!

 **Roger:** Yeah?

 **Kaito:** ...

{Kaito shoots Roger}

 **Gendo:** Ignoring that murder right there... Yuusuke! Observe Kaito and study his every movement.

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, I’m just studying him?

 **Yashiro:** Yeah. Needless to say, you’re kind of a wuss in the suit. Kaito can kick ass, however.

 **Yuusuke:** ... Fine. Let’s go, Kaito... KAITO!

{Yuusuke sees Kaito pick-pocketing Roger’s wallet.}

 **Kaito:** What? He’s not needing it anymore.

* * *

{At an underground place, Shouichi is limping.}

 **Tsukasa:** Sup dude!

 **Shouichi:** Didn’t I tell you to get away?

 **Tsukasa:** Didn’t I tell you to shut the [EFF!] up? Besides, I’m here to kick Lord ass.

 **Shouichi:** You mean Unknown, right?

 **Tsukasa:** Oh right, I forgot they went under two names.

 **Shouichi:** STOP TRYING TO CONFUSE ME!

{Shouichi attacks with a tentacle towards Tsukasa, but he dodges and it gets Natsumi instead. It grabs her.}

 **Tsukasa:** Ah crap, I’ve seen enough anime to know where this is going.

 **Natsumi:** Stop joking and help me already! Or you know what?

{Natsumi elbows Shouichi and runs off. He simply laughs}

 **Shouichi:** That’s right... Treat me like a monster... **BECAUSE THAT’S WHO I AM!**

{Shouichi turns into Exceed Gills}

 **Tsukasa:** Woah, didn’t see that one coming!

 **Natsumi:** What? The part where he transformed into Gills’ Super Form or the part where he became Gills entirely?

 **Tsukasa:** Both! Great, now what do I do? The person I’m trying to save is now a feral monster! What would my shoulder angel do?

{Suddenly, a chibi Sid in an angel outfit poofs by Tsukasa’s shoulder}

 **Sid:** He’s a monster, and it’s a Rider’s job to kill monsters. That’s pretty heroic, no?

{Then a chibi Tomoko in a devil outfit poofs... and punches Sid in the face}

 **Tomoko:** SCREW YOU! THAT’S NOT HEROIC AT ALL! RIDERS ARE SUPPOSED BE HEROES AND FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!

{Sid simply goes unfazed and gives her a smirk}

 **Sid:** But isn’t that justice?

{Aaaand another deck to the face}

 **Tomoko:** No! YOU’RE NOT JUSTICE!

 **Tsukasa:** Oooookay, you two are useless. You know what? I think it’s time to hear what Mr. Voice In My Belt has to say.

**DecaDriver: Kill him... Slaughter him like a dog!**

**Tsukasa:** Alrighty! HENSHIN!

{Exciting Attitude plays}

**KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!**

{Tsukasa transforms into Kamen Rider Decade’s Violent Emotion as Shouichi gets a painful headache}

 **Shouichi:** **GET OUT OF MY HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAD!**

{Shouichi then gets hit by Tsukasa’s sword}

 **Tsukasa:** **I’m gonna show you a new Gegeru...**

 **Natsumi:** T-tsukasa?

{Tsukasa places in a card in the driver}

**ATTACK RIDE: A NEAT TRICK THAT YOU’LL NEVER DO AGAIN! ... WAIT!**

{Just as the Decader rolls in and changes into Auto Vajin, time (and the music) freezes to the sound of the Inception Bwong. Narutaki reveals himself and screams in front of Tsukasa’s frozen state}

 **Narutaki:** DAMN YOU DECADE! YOU CAUSED A PARADOX BY ACTUALLY DOING THE NEAT TRICK YOU’LL NEVER DO AGAIN!

 **Psyga:** Great, now I gotta reset the fanfic. Hang on...

{As Psyga fixes the problem, Narutaki looks over to see a man in a black sweater and medium length brown hair.}

 **???:** All according to plan...

{The man walks through a dimensional wall}

 **Narutaki:** What the hell?

 **Psyga:** Done! I’ve disabled Tsukasa’s Violent Emotion for now.

 **Narutaki:** What the hell were you thinking, allowing the voices of the belts to drive these Riders to fight?

 **Psyga:** Riders should beat each other up, right?

 **Narutaki:** You... You of all people should know what results from this!

 **Psyga:** Look, Narutaki, I’m just the author. All I do is tell a compelling story. That’s it. Tootles.

{Psyga also goes through a dimensional wall.}

 **Narutaki:** Come back here! Do you know how much you’ve changed?!

{Time resumes, and Narutaki is nowhere to be seen. Tsukasa was now in Kiva’s Garulu Form, attacking Shouichi... then he screams and runs off. Tsukasa goes back into Decade mode.}

 **Tsukasa:** **... I feel like something weird happened...**

 **Natsumi:** You think?

{The two see Shouichi flailing}

 **Natsumi:** Should we help him?

 **Tsukasa:** **Naaaaah... Let him run.**

* * *

{Meanwhile, up above in a generic battle location}

**Kaito: Here I come to save the daaaaaaaaaay!**

{Kaito rides forth and rams over one of the Grongi. He whips out his gun and fires at the other Grongi, only for them to be unfazed by the bullets.}

**Kaito: What the hell!? I thought G3-X was supposed to be effective against the Grongi!**

**Yashiro (through the G3-X Helmet):** _Don’t underestimate the power of the human race! It’s only through believing the you that believes in yourself would you-_

{Kaito takes off the suit}

 **Kaito:** Yeah, this Gurren Lagann thing isn’t working for me.

{Kaito gets out his DienDriver and puts in a card}

**KAMEN RIDE:**

**Kaito:** HENSHIN!

{He fires}

**DIEND!**

{and transforms into Diend}

**Kaito: Alright, soldiers, let’s show them the power of the future Riders!**

{Kaito slips in two cards}

**KAMEN RIDE: DELTA! DRAKE!**

{Kaito summons the two Riders and shoot down Ginoga. Kaito looks towards Mebio and puts in another card}

**KAMEN RIDE: RYUGEN! **

{Kaito summons Ryugen... who does nothing.}

**Kaito: Uh... dude? Why aren’t you fighting?**

**Mitsuzane:** **If I fight, Yggdrasil will notice.**

**Kaito:... Yeah, no. You’re a waste.**

{Kaito shoots his summon and destroys him}

 **Yashiro (through the G3-X Helmet):** _Kaito! What the hell is going on? Who was that guy you shot?_

**Kaito: Sorry about that. Technical difficulties. But hey, I’m hunting down Grongi. That’s good, right?**

**Yashiro (through the G3-X Helmet): KAITO! I SWEAR! IF YOU’RE USING ANOTHER SUIT, I’M GONNA KICK YOUR AS-**

{Kaito shoots the helmet, then looks to Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** What the hell are you doing!?

**Kaito: That suit was dumb, so I’m using mine!**

**Yuusuke:** Don’t insult Ane-san’s creation!

**Kaito: She’s not _your_ Ane-san. She may _look_ like her, but she’s not her.**

**Yuusuke:** Kaitoooooo!

**Kaito: Oh hey, our work’s being done.**

{Two Ant Lords come and kill Mebio}

 **Yuusuke:** What?

**Kaito: Good ol’ nod to the original show’s backstory that we’ll never see again.**

{The Ant Lords go for the two Riders... but then Gills comes and utterly kills the two of them}

**Kaito: Okay, since I’m teaching you about Agito’s World, let me tell you about Gills. He’s a batshit crazy homage to Amazon and Shin. He’s Exceed because water damage messed up the original suit.**

{Gills turns to the two Riders and Yuusuke holds up his gun at Gills}

**Kaito: Woah! He’s a Rider! Sure, he’s a corrupted Agito, but he’s still a Rider!**

**Tsukasa: He’s right!**

{Tsukasa rides in on his motorcycle and rides in front of Gills}

**Kaito: Oh hey, Tsukasa. How are you doing?**

**Tsukasa: Good. I miiiight have messed up the space-time continuum though.**

**Kaito: Wait... did you have that “blood for the blood god” shift again?**

**Tsukasa: Maaaaaaaaaybe?**

**Kaito:... You leave me no choice.**

{Kaito slips in a card}

**ATTACK RIDE: CROSS ATTACK!**

**Tsukasa: Well, this will be a piece of cak-**

{Shouichi steaks Tsukasa’s belt and he demorphs.}

 **Tsukasa:** HEY WHAT THE FU-

{Delta fires a drill at Tsukasa, then leaps into the air for a Rider Kick... then time stops again, with Narutaki overlooking the battle on top of a building}

 **Narutaki:** And so, Destroyer, it ends...

 **Psyga:** No... Not really.

 **Narutaki:** What do you mean?

 **Psyga:** Ever heard of cliffhangers?

 **Narutaki:** ... Wait, do you mean?

 **Psyga:** Yeah. Tsukasa’s probably gonna survive next episode.

 **Narutaki:** DAMN YOU PSYYYYYYYYYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 **Psyga:** Let it aaaaaaaaaall out... I’ll come back to see how you’re doing.

{Psyga teleports out.}

{To be continued}


	13. Are we being Sirius or Ambiguous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, what just happened!? Did... Did that happen? IT DID!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus. In return, I will give you this extra long chapter. Enjoy!

{Our episode resumes from where we last left off, with Tsukasa about to be Rider Kicked by Delta and shot to hell by Drake... and then...}

**BLAM!**

**Narutaki:** What the hell!?

{Delta successfully Rider Kicked Tsukasa. As he is catapaulted up into the air, he is shot by Drake’s Rider Shooting. Tsukasa screamed and exploded}

**Narutaki:** He’s... He’s...

**Psyga:** Oh fuck. He’s dead.

**Narutaki:** VICTORY!

**Psyga:** And now the series is over! Nice job breaking the hero!

**Narutaki:** But the destroyer is... well... destroyed!

**Psyga:** Now what do I focus on!? Without Decade, there’s no Kamen Rider Decade! Which means no Journey Through The Abridged! Which means this entire story ends now!

**Narutaki:** Oh... Well shi-

* * *

**Kamen Rider Decade**

**Journey Through The Cancelled**

* * *

{le workroom}

**Psyga:** Okay, let me see if I can abridge another show... Hm... How about Fourze?

* * *

{le bad guy lair}

**Gamou:** Sonada, you have failed me for the last time.

{Virgo walks in}

**Gamou:** As punishment, you are banished to off-screenville, where your character will never be mentioned or heard from again and will never get any closure from you!

{And Virgo promptly sucks her into the void}

**Gamou:** Now, Tachi-I mean Hayami, let’s continue our job of making glorified Monsters of the Fortnight!

* * *

**Psyga:** On second thought, maybe not. Maybe I need to write up a story that’s not a parody of a show... Hm... A Gaim story would be nice...

* * *

{Micchy’s Room}

**Takatora:** You do not want to commit justice. You’re just trying to prove yourself to me. Am I wrong?

**Mitsuzane:** Bro... I...

**Takatora:** I believed that you were unable to fend for yourself, that I must protect you. It would seem my ego clouded my judgement. You have chosen to fight here and now, just like me... A true Kureshima.

{Takatora gets up and looks at Micchy in the eyes.}

**Takatora:** You are, _truly_ , my brother.

{Takatora gets closer}

**Mitsuzane:** Uuuuh, Brother?

**Takatora:** Mitsuzane, it’s time you learned the truth... All of it.

{Takatora leans in to Mitsuzane’s lips...}

* * *

**Psyga: NOOOOOOO!** JESUS CHRIST! WHY AM I THINKING THAT!? Oh God... I... I need a walk.

{He gets up and leaves}

* * *

{At ???... Well, it’s a cave, but ??? makes it mysterious!}

**???:** _Tsukasa... Wake uuuuuuuup..._

**Tsukasa:** Oh My Overlord! I’m back at Kiva’s World?

**???:** _No... You are in puuuuurgatoryyyyyy!_

**Tsukasa:** Oooookay... Who are you?

**???:** _I am the mysterious, disembodied vooooooiiiiiice!_

**Tsukasa:** Okay, can you stop being creepy?

{Someone emerges from a tunnel}

**Yami Yugi:** Oh all right!

**Tsukasa:** And yooooouuuu’reeee...

**Yami Yugi:** Don’t you recognize me? I’m the King of Games, damn it! You know it’s me because I’m voiced by Dan Green!

**Tsukasa:** Doesn’t ring a bell. So... Is this really purgatory?

**Yami Yugi:** Yes. Well, sort of. It’s a long story, but let’s just say hiatus is a bitch. A massive bitch.

**Tsukasa:** So... I’m dead?

**Yami Yugi:** Not quite. There _is_ a way to get out of it, but it requires you to do a dangerous task!

**Tsukasa:** And that task is...

**Yami Yugi:** There will be an artifact in a room to your left. You must assemble the pieces within the time you are given. Succeed, and you’re revived. Fail? And you die!

**Tsukasa:** Agito almighty! What the hell?

**Yami Yugi:** What can I say, I’m the King of Games.

**Tsukasa:** You know, being dead seems pretty nice right now.

**Yami Yugi:** No! You must come back to prevent this from taking over your spot on TV!

{Yami Yugi shows Tsukasa a TV which is playing Power Rangers Super Megaforce}

* * *

**Levira:** With this powerful laser beam, we no longer need Zombats and can grow more than one monster at a time!

{She shoots the laser and makes the monsters grow. The Super Megaforce Rangers bear witness to this}

**Jake:** **They’re doing it without Zombats!**

**Emma:** **Now they can grow four at once!?**

{BTW, actual dialogue}

* * *

**Tsukasa:** Oh My Overlord! A show where it half-asses its legacy, states and repeats the obvious, and the only reason people watch it is for the promise of an epic battle of all their favourite heroes that _aren’t_ cardboard cutouts? It’s exactly like _my_ show!

**Yami Yugi:** Yes! Which is exactly why you must get the artifact and come back to life!

**Tsukasa:** So fix the artifact, then I’m back. Got it. Welp, gotta head.

**Yami Yugi:** Good luck! You’re gonna need it.

{Tsukasa leaves. Once he is far away, C.C. pops up from behind Yami... Atem... Whoever!}

**C.C.:** Well, _that_ was easy. He’s as dumb as you are.

**Yami Yugi:** I kno- wait.

{Yami Yugi takes off his wig and coughs, revealing that he was...}

**Lelouch:** I know. As soon as he walks in and forms the artifact, we burst in, steal it, and badda-bing, badda-boom, Code MENT is back in business!

**C.C.:** And you never once decided you should assemble the pieces because...

**Lelouch:** Me do actual work? That’s silly! When have I ever done that?

**C.C.:** Forget I asked.

* * *

{At a group meeting}

**Helheim Mai:** Thank you all for attending the MacGuffin Girls Anonymous, Natsumi. We’re all pleased you could make it out here.

**Natsumi:** Um... Thanks, but... Question?

**Helheim Mai:** If it’s about my eye...

**Natsumi:** No. I mean, why the hell are there _boys_ in the MacGuffin Girls Anonymous meeting?

{She points to Phillip, Ankh, and Kengo}

**Helheim Mai:** Well, to be fair, it wasn’t really popular before they got here. They’re just mascots to attract girls into the club.

{Ankh waves his hair back and forth, distracting Mai with his sexiness}

**Helheim Mai:** ... Alright! Natsumi, any thoughts about the times you had about constantly being the damsel in distress and how women like us should be stronger in those times?

**Natsumi:** Well... I have requested that I become a Kamen Rider at one point.

{Everyone gasps}

**Helheim Mai:** No!

**Natsumi:** What’s the problem?

**Helheim Mai:** A female being a Kamen Rider? That’s a death sentence!

**Koyomi:** Wait, Mayu became Kamen Rider Mage and she turned out okay.

**Helheim Mai:** SHUSH!

**Mio:** And to be fair, Megumi also became one as well and she didn’t get offed.

**Helheim Mai:** Well screw the two of you! I’m stuck in a show where its head writer is known for having an [EFF!]ing sandworm chomp on a magical girl’s head and going downhill from there! DO YOU THINK I’M [EFF!]ING HAPPY ABOUT THAT!?

{She hyperventilates while Yui comes and pats her on the back}

**Yui:** Eeeeasy there... Look, Natsumi, maybe being a Kamen Rider isn’t fit for someone like you.

**Natsumi:** Well, this is stupid. Every time I tell people I should be a Kamen Rider, they always shoot me down. Well, no more! If anyone’s willing, I’m gonna write a petition to make me a Kamen Rider! Who’s with me?

{Silence}

**Natsumi:** Well, I’m gonna get the Helheim out of here. Wonder what grandpa is doing...

{She walks out}

* * *

{Eijiro is all alone in his house, still located at Agito’s World. He’s sitting at a table full of vegetable soup, all of it without people to eat them}

**Eijiro:** ... {sigh} Life isn’t the same without them. Maybe I should drown my sorrows with some beer.

{He goes to the fridge and gets some beer. He also notices a squid among hundreds of headless Donald Ducks}

**Eijiro:** Ah... Squid and Beer.

{Sudden Dramatic Musical Sting! **BUM BUM BUUUUUM!** }

**Eijiro:** Huh? I’m just having Squid and Beer!

**BUM BUM BUUUUUUUM!**

**Eijiro:** {Sigh}

* * *

{At the MacGuffin Room in Purgatory}

**Tsukasa:** Ah! There we are!

{Tsukasa goes to a four pieced artifact and picks it up. Suddenly, the floor beneath him collapses and he falls through, plummeting into a pool of lava}

**Tsukasa:** OH WHAT THE [EFF!]? WE’RE RIPPING OFF POWER RANGERS NOW!?

{Tsukasa sees Xzibit falling next to him}

**Xzibit:** Yo dawg, I heard you like rip offs, so this is a rip off of a show that’s ripping off another show! So you can complain about a rip off being a rip off!

**Tsukasa:** Help me assemble these pieces!

**Xzibit:** Yo dawg, I don’t get paid enough for dat shizzle! I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one! HIT ME!

{Tsukasa punches Xzibit and he falls into the lava... which Tsukasa is still free falling to}

**Tsukasa:** Crap. Better assemble the pieces fast... Huh, they’re all connected together, so all I gotta do is...

{He puts the pieces together by practically shoving them into each other}

**Tsukasa:** BINGO!

{Tsukasa flashes just as he hits the lava}

* * *

{In the middle of somewhere, the area explodes, and as the smoke clears, Tsukasa walks out as Before My Body Is Dry plays}

**Tsukasa:** I’m back, baby!

{Record Needle Scratch as he notices he’s in a boxing ring surrounded by horde of students, two guys, and a school girl tied upside down on a metal cross}

**Tsukasa:** ... What? Um... This _is_ Agito’s World, right?

**Sanageyama:** No. This is Honnouji Academy.

**Tsukasa:** Ooooh... In that case, I might as well...

{Tsukasa runs off, away from the Academy, taking the Deliveryman’s motorbike for transportation}

**Sanageyama:** ... What the hell was up with that?

* * *

{[in a training area at Agito’s World...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfeF6kHKW2k)}

**Yashiro:** YUUSUKE! YOU ARE TO RUN 1000 MILES WHILE CARRYING A HUNDRED POUNDS! THAT WILL PROVE TO ME THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WEAR MY BELOVED G3-X UNIT!

**Yuusuke:** Yes Ane-san!

**Yashiro:** AND I WILL WHIP YOU WHILE YOU DO IT!

**Yuusuke:** YAY!

**Gendo:** I clearly don’t want to know what’s going through that poor kid’s mind right now...

{Sounds of whip hitting flesh is heard}

**Gendo:** You _do_ realize the point of “carrot-and-stick”-style training is to have the carrot, right?

**Yashiro:** CARROTS INVOKE WEAKNESS! I WILL NOT HAVE WEAKNESS IN MY MEN! ISN’T THAT RIGHT YUUSUKE?

**Yuusuke:** I’ll agree with whatever you say, Ane-san!

**Gendo:** I’m surrounded by idiots... {sigh} Better call up Ragyo and see what she’s up to.

* * *

{Meanwhile at the sea, Tsukasa is on a ship with another guy}

**Luffy:** And then he was like “We shall give these to the people of Earth”, completely lying to me about the Greatest Treasure in the Universe. So I ratted him out to the Space Empire and they raided the ship. And that was the day I screwed over a Power Ranger!

**Tsukasa:** Cool story, bro. But seriously, how much further til we get to Agito’s World?

**Luffy:** Ah, that... Well, this doesn’t fly to other worlds, I’m ‘fraid.

**Tsukasa:** {Sigh} Just take me to somewhere that can transport me to Agito’s World.

**Luffy:** You got it!

* * *

{le photo studio}

{Natsumi enters}

**Natsumi:** Hey Granddad, I’m- Are you drunk!?

{Natsumi sees Eijiro prancing around half-dressed with a squid in one hand and a statuette in the other.}

**Eijiro:** Stephano! Look, Natsumi’s arrived!

**Natsumi:** Please tell me he’s not...

**Eijiro:** {while moving the statuette} I am Stephano, and I do not approve of Natsumikan leaving poor Eijipie to rot!

**Natsumi:** And he is... Where the hell is Kivara?

**Eijiro:** She flew off to God knows where...

* * *

{At the caves where Narutaki hangs out}

**Narutaki:** ... You know, with the Devil being destroyed, I don’t know what to do with myself.

**Kivara:** Hmm... Perhaps it is time to find a hobby.

**Narutaki:** Opposing Decade _was_ my hobby! With him gone, I have nothing to do!

**Kivara:** Then perhaps it is time to let it go.

**Narutaki:** Ah! Let it go! That’s it! Kivara, you’re a genius!

**Kivara:** When am I not?

**Narutaki:** Come, Kivara! I will get the webcam and we will record ourselves!

**Kivara:** Wait, what are we doing?

**Narutaki:** We’re singing Let It Go!

**Kivara:**... Not Mirai Start or Everything Is Awesome?

**Narutaki:** Everything isn’t awesome! We’re going to sing an overly popular song to alleviate the stress of having nothing to do!

**Kivara:** Alright, let’s get the torture out of the way...

* * *

{Meanwhile, in space, three pods fly through space}

**Vegeta:** So let me get this straight, you got killed and this star-headed asshole told you how to come back to life?

**Tsukasa:** Pretty much. So... Are we-

**Vegeta:** I swear to God, if you start that bull[BLEEP] one more [BLEEP]ing time, I will personally get out of this pod and personally welcome you to oblivion!

**Tsukasa:** Alright, alright, jeez...

**Nappa:** {establishing a private chat with Tsukasa} Hey, hey Tsukasa?

**Tsukasa:** Yeah?

**Nappa:** {whisper whisper}

**Tsukasa:** That’s so insane it just might work!

**Nappa:** Hey, Vegeta?

**Vegeta:** Yes Nappa?

**Nappa and Tsukasa:** Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

**Vegeta:** GOD DAMN IT, NAPPA!

{Vegeta’s communicator beeps}

**Vegeta:** Huh? What is it?

**Ross, Nappa, and Tsukasa:** Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

**Vegeta:** GOD DAMN IT, ROSS!

**Freeza:** We will now begin our in-flight movie now.

**Vegeta:** Oh thank [BLEEP]!

* * *

And now, we would like to present:

**Kamen Rider Decade**

**Journey Through The Cancelled: The Movie**

**We Know What Kaito Did Last Summer**

**(A.K.A. Why Is It Called Episode Yellow If Diend Is Cyan?)**

* * *

**Kaito:** AWWW YEAH! My own movie! This is gonna be badass! I’m gonna fly around Tokyo and make it my bitch!

**Momotaros:** Hey now! You gotta share the screen time with us!

**Kaito:** How about no?

{Kaito fights off the Taros Imagin}

**Kaito:** Aw yeah, I’m badass! Lookie, I’m possessed by an Imagin! Go get ‘em!

**Spider Imagin:** Toei, please stop reusing me! You know what, I’ll go back in time and kill myself Terminator style!

{And he promptly does so, splitting Kaito in half and stepping into him}

* * *

{Le past}

**Spider Imagin:** Now I’m free to kill myself! Look, I can see myself being drawn right now!

{He points to the concept artist for the Imagin}

{Then Momotaros arrives}

**Momotaros: Oh no, you don’t!**

**FULL CHARGE!**

**Momotaros: MY FINISHING MOVE! PART WHO GIVES A CRAP!?**

{And offs the Imagin}

**Kaito:** AHAH! I used your character tic of you throwing away your Rider Pass to invoke your finishing attack against you! Now I own the Den-Liner!

**Momotaros:** Oh no! The Den-Liner! We just took it back from [INSERT IMAGIN OR EVIL RIDER HERE] a week ago!

**Kaito:** OFF I GO INTO THE PAAAAAAAAAST! So let’s go back to where my Imagin went!

**Owner:** ... Wait, what? Um, you were just there... Like... fifteen seconds ago. I’m the resident goofball here, but even I think that’s crazy.

**Kaito:** You’re only a goofball because TV-Nihon messed up one line. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna kill myself Terminator style!

**Owner:** Isn’t that what your Imagin tried to do?

**Kaito:** Only I make killing myself badass. Because I’m Kaito!

**Owner:** How does that justify anything?

**Kaito:** It worked for Batman.

**Owner:** Why the hell does this sound so familiar?

**Kaito:** I’m gonna be off being badass. See ya!

{He goes and finds his past self, then shoots him}

**Not-Ryotaro:** Wait, shouldn’t you be dead? I mean, you shot your past self, shouldn’t you fade from existence?

**Kaito:** No, because I’m Kaito! Watch, I can regenerate!

{Kaito’s past self regenerates his shot wound}

**Kaito:** Say it with me kids: I. Am. Badass. Hey, send me something badass!

{Then a guy warps in via time bubble and points a gun at Kaito}

**Reiji:** I am also badass. Now let me transform after I awkwardly bring up my mommy issues! HENSHIN!

**BADASS FORM!**

{Reiji transforms into Kamen Rider G-Den-O. He poses and behind him, the letter G explodes on a building}

**Reiji: I’m part of Awesome Police Badassrider! You have the right to remain awesome!**

**Kaito:** I’d say the writers were snorting crack when they made you, but that would imply they need that to create badassery.

**Vegeta:** {off-screen} IS THIS _REALLY_ GONNA MENTION BADASS AND AWESOME THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE!?

**Not-Ryotaro:** He transformed!

**Kaito, Reiji and Vegeta:** NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

**Kaito:** Anyways, we shall have an awesome-off, and since this is my movie and you’re clearly the evil movie Rider, I’m gonna get owned by you in a badass manner, but allowing me to recoup and better myself for the inevitable rematch where I own your ass!

{Kaito Henshins and they fight. Predictably, Kaito gets his ass handed to him... Maybe he should use his gun in that fight.}

**Kaito:** It’s in the Kaito bloodline to not use our weapons properly! I mean, look at Kaito from Gaim!

**Reiji: You’re being sent to jail in the most awesome way!**

{And Kaito gets sent to jail}

**Momotaros:** You kicked the dude’s ass! Thank you!

**Reiji:** **You should thank my awesome artificial Imagin Eve, who is actually a guy.**

**Eve:** **Yes, I was made by the Time Police!**

**Not-Ryotaro:** Time Police? Where the hell were you before this movie? Why didn't you do anything when Kai or Gaoh was screwing around with time?

**Reiji:** **Because we’re just that awesome!**

**Not-Ryotaro:** You can’t just say you’re awesome and expect people to buy it!

**Reiji:** **Yes we can! You’re under arrest for underestimating our badassery!**

* * *

**Past!Kaito:** Meanwhile, I’m gonna do something badass and steal a golden gun!

**Past!Reiji:** No! Don’t steal mother’s gun!

**Past!Kaito:** Lol no!

{Kaito pushes down the kid}

**Audience:** GAAAAAAASP!

**Past!Kaito:** What? Was it something I said?

{One of the directors of the film comes in}

**Director:** Not cool, Kaito. Not cool.

**Vegeta:** {Off screen} I thought it was cool. He should pound his face in for good measure.

* * *

{Meanwhile at the King Liner Station where the Badass Clock Tower is}

**Kaito:** I can’t believe I’m stuck with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and Beyond Dumbest.

{He looks over to the Taros Imagin bickering}

**Owner:** Hey guys, here to bail you out! Mr. Kurosaki Ichigo, these Imagin have saved time, and by extension, the world for forty-nine episodes and seven movies, I think they need a little slack being cut.

**Reiji:** You’re under arrest too! You didn’t report these incidents to the Time Police!

**Owner:** Sorry, what? How the hell was I supposed to know that there was a Time Police during all that time? I can’t believe I’m the only sane one in this movie!

**Reiji:** Take him away, guards!

{The guards take the Owner away.}

**Kaito:** Hey guys, I jacked a guard’s keys!

{He busts out}

**Kaito:** Now I can make this _my_ movie. You guys can just rot.

{Kaito tosses the keys near the Taros Imagins’ cell}

* * *

{le Den-Liner}

**Naomi:** Reiji! Kaito had escaped!

**Reiji:** You’re under arrest!

**Naomi:** For what?

**Reiji:** For having a bodacious body and not being a part of the Awesome Police Badassrider!

**Naomi:** Well, I’m not really Naomi, I’m really...

{Naomi takes off the suit}

**Kaito:** KAITO!

**Reiji:** You’re under arrest for the murder of my boner!

{The Taros Imagin hop on the Den-Liner}

**Ryuutaros:** Wheee!

{Ryuutaros bumps into Reiji and takes the Rider Pass from him}

**Kintaros:** You’rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre outta here!!

{Kintaros throws Reiji out of the Den-Liner. He lands in a river. As he gets up, Eve activates}

**Eve:** **They screwed up our awesomeness! For that they get the maximum penalty: total pwnage.**

{Back at the Den-Liner}

**Kaito:** Cool, now drop me off at the place I tried to steal the treasure.

**Not-Ryotaro:** Why?

**Kaito:** I want the gun to be in the most mint condition possible. So I’m going back and stopping myself from letting it get damaged by the cops because I distracted myself with someone’s attempts at making me care.

**Not-Ryotaro:** We can’t let you steal! Stealing is wrong!

**Kaito:** Yeah no. Kids, Kamen Rider Diend condones the awesome act of stealing awesome things, and will even condone you going back in time to steal those awesome things again if you know that it will be 20% cooler if you do!

**Vegeta:** {off screen}ARE WE REALLY DOING THAT REFERENCE!?

**Kaito:** Welp, gotta go, tootles.

{He hops off, and the Den-O gang follow him}

* * *

{As they follow him, Reiji intercepts them}

**Reiji: Fight me!**

**Not-Ryotaro:** Okay!

{Fight ensues, and Den-O gets jobbed thanks to Eve’s super computer-like tracking skills}

**Reiji: Now if you excuse me, I gotta kill Kaito. Oh there he is!**

{He shoots at Kaito, but Urataros possesses him}

**Urataros:** I want to have my moment to shine!

{Urataros gets out a Kamen Ride Card and puts it in the Diendriver}

**KAMEN RIDE!**

**Urataros:** Henshin!

**DIEND!**

{He transforms into Kamen Rider Diend}

**Urataros:** **Let’s do a simultaneous attack!**

**ATTACK RIDE: INVISIBLE!**

{He disappears}

**Momotaros:** **Meh, I’ll bite!**

**FULL CHARGE!**

**Momotaros:** **FINISHING MOVE! PART 127 DEGREES!**

{And he and Urataros manage to beat Reiji by doing the obvious thing of attacking him at the same time. Curse Eve for not being advanced enough, I tell you!}

**Kaito:** Okay, seriously, I gotta pull off the world’s most awesome stunt.

**Reiji:** NO! I want to do the world’s most awesome stunt!

{And the two chase each other. The rest needs to be described in written prose for the full awesomeness}

* * *

There was only three minutes on the clock. Kaito had only the slightest amount of time to get to where he needed to go.

At that same time, his past self ran from the police. With a wound on his arm obtained from his battle with Reiji, Kaito managed to walk to a decent point on the bridge with only thirty seconds to spare. However, a bullet swerved past him.

“That’s as far as you go, Daiki Kaito!” Reiji pointed the golden gun at Kaito.

“Let’s end this in one awesome gun fight!” Kaito positioned his Diendriver at Reiji, but Reiji pulled the trigger just as he moved his arm. Instinctively, Kaito dodged the bullet only slightly so that it ripped through his shoulder. The golden bullet moved right towards Past!Kaito’s bounty: The Box and blasted it out of his hands. The chest burst opened, causing letters to fly out, but more importantly, the golden gun in its mint condition. Kaito put his hand up into the air and snatched the gun. The damaged gun burst into dust in Reiji’s hand.

“W-what just happened?” Reiji asked as he looked for his gun. Kaito pointed his newly obtained gun at Reiji.

“Time paradox, bitch! _Now_ who’s the awesome Rider?” He said.

And then the audience overdosed in awesome.

* * *

**Reiji:** You... I won’t forgive you for this!

{He steps forward and looks at the letters}

**Reiji:** What the hell are these?

**Kaito:** Dunno. Didn’t have a good read at it because I got shot at by a cop.

**Kohana:** They’re letters your mom sent you!

**Kaito and Reiji:** Who the hell invited you?

**Kohana:** Look, this movie needs a plot, and I’m here to draw a pointed line to its closure. Your mom loves you, but she didn’t have the time to see you. So she wrote all these letters... aaaaand never showed them to you to show that she cared and instead stuffed them into a box that you might not have even been allowed to look in.

**Reiji:** Wow, way to _not_ have me care even more. These things are just scrap.

**Kaito:** Well, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

**Reiji:** Wow... even if I just said I don’t give a crap about my mother, you still consider them to be my treasure...

**Kaito:** Don’t get any wise ideas, I’m just trying help you to redeem myself from that not-awesome thing I did to you.

**Reiji:** Wow... You are truly awesome, Kaito.

**Eve: NO! I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS THIEF AS THE SUPERIOR PERSON! I’M GONNA GO HAL ON YOUR ASS!**

{Eve bursts out from his license and transforms into Kamen Rider G-Den-O

**Kaito:** Crap, gotta take him out. Hey! Past Me! Wanna help me kick his ass?

**Past!Kaito:** Hell yeah!

{The two prepare their Diendriver}

**KAMEN RIDE!**

**KAMEN RIDE!**

**Past!Kaito and Kaito:** HENSHIN!

**DIEND!**

**DIEND!**

{The two fight G-Den-O and hold him off}

**Past!Kaito: The scene’s too awesome for the both of us to be on screen. You handle Eve while I steal this gun and be never seen or heard from again!**

**ATTACK RIDE: INVISIBLE!**

{He disappears}

**Kaito:** **That sly dog!**

{Den-O Climax Form waltzes in}

**Momotaros:** **Let’s attack him head on! It worked the first time!**

**Kaito:** **Alright.**

**FU LL CHARGE!**

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DI- DI- DI-DIEND!**

**Eve:** **PERFECT WEAPON!**

{The three fire their Rider Blasts at each other, and Diend manages to save Reiji from getting blasted by Eve’s attack.}

**Reiji:** Dude, you are awesome!

**Kaito:** **Yes, I know.**

**Reiji:** Here, take this random K-Touch we had for no explained reason.

**Kaito: It’s only there to make me 20... no... _100%_ cooler!**

{And so Kaito activates The N-Touch... Yes, that is what I’m calling it, deal with it.}

**G4!**

**RYUGA!**

**ORGA!**

**GLAIVE!**

**KABUKI!**

**CAUCASUS!**

**ARC!**

**SKULL!**

**FINAL KAMEN RIDE- **

**Kaito: Actually, that is pretty dull and old. Let’s swap out Skull for this guy, aaaand add in this guy!**

{Kaito slips out the card on the N-Touch and puts in a new card which is virtually the same but with two new symbols}

**GAOH!**

**ETERNAL!**

**FINAL KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!**

{Kaito transforms into Diend Complete Form as Treasure Sniper plays in the background}

**Kaito: My story continues here!**

{Kaito presses Eternal’s button}

**ETERNAL!**

**KAMEN RIDE: ETERNAL!**

{Eternal appears next to him, holding his Eternal Edge. At the same time, Kaito holds his Diendriver in the same manner as Eternal’s, and a small blade appears from the barrel of the gun. The two rush to Eve and give him a slash, a cyan aura from Kaito, and a green one from Eternal. Soon, Eternal disappears and Kaito presses Gaoh’s button.}

**GAOH!**

**KAMEN RIDE: GAOH!**

{Gaoh appears next to him, holding his Gaoh Gasher. The two riders lift their weapons in the air, causing their blades to fly off, being trailed by cyan and bronze lightning respectively. The two send them to Eve, slashing him and knocking him to the ground.}

**Momotaros: Hey! This is _my_ movie!**

**Kaito: No, it wasn’t. This was my story from the beginning. Even after I had killed Tsukasa, I will still journey on, breaking the clichés and tropes that have held my predecessors and successors back. Now, the finale.**

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: ALL RI-RI-RI-RIDERS! **

{All nine riders appear before him and all of them perform their respective finishing attack, be it a Rider Kick or a Rider weapon attack on Eve, destroying him once and for all. Kaito demorphs}

**Kaito:** Welp, movie’s done. Go home kids. Reiji, did you learn something today?

**Reiji:** My mom loved me always and you will always be more awesome than me?

**Kaito:** Well, yes to your mom, but no to the latter. See, my encounter with you had me learn that I’m awesome, you’re awesome, Eve’s awesome, Den-O’s awesome and... well...

{The Lego Minifigs appear by Kaito’s shoulders}

**Kaito and the Minifigs:** EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

{The credits then roll, with Everything Is Awesome playing in the background}

* * *

{Back in space}

**Vegeta:** That was the dumbest movie I’ve ever watched!

**Freeza:** _Now that you have finished watching the in-flight movie, you will notice you’re approaching at your destination, so everyone, please stop asking ‘are we there yet’._

**Vegeta:** Thank God!

* * *

{le photo studio}

**Natsumi:** I’m bored...

{Natsumi sits along with Yuusuke (who was battered and beaten), Eijiro, Narutaki, and Kivara}

**Narutaki:** Tell me about it. Seeing your grandfather act like he’s PewDiePie was cute for the first five minutes, then it became boring and crappy.

**Kivara:** By the way, did you hear our Let It Go video?

**Natsumi:** I was too busy writing up a petition to make me a Kamen Rider.

**Yuusuke:** And I was too busy fawning over Ane-san. I’m a little sad she rejected my offer to spend the night at her house.

{Kaito walks in}

**Kaito:** Hey guys, just finished being awesome and snatched a coffee mug from some punk. What’s new with you guys?

**Yuusuke:** We’re just... bored.

**Natsumi:** Yeah... Well, we can go save the nine worlds without Tsukasa.

**Narutaki:** ... Yeah! With him gone, I can actually assist you guys!

**Kivara:** This will be a fun adventure!

**Yuusuke:** Can I at least stay and be with Ane-san?

**Kaito:** And can I stay to be awesome and steal something?

**Natsumi:** No! Now, come along, let’s finish Agito’s World! Together!

{Suddenly, an explosion. Eijiro screams like a Slender Let’s Player as Natsumi rushes to the door}

**Natsumi:** What the hell was that!?

{Natsumi opened the door and saw Tsukasa enter through}

**Tsukasa:** Sup guys!

{Everyone gasps}

**Narutaki:** DECADE! HOW DID YOU SURVIVE!?

**Tsukasa:** I had some help. Like, a lot of help.

* * *

{Back at Purgatory with Lelouch and C.C. looking over the lava pit with no charred Tsukasa or artifact}

**C.C.:** Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

**Lelouch:** What? How the hell was I supposed to know it was that easy to get out?

**C.C.:** {sigh} You’re catching up to Mao. Maybe you could get a silver medal.

**Lelouch:** What does _that_ supposed to mean?

**C.C.:** Never mind.

* * *

{le Photo Studio}

**Narutaki:** No! I was going to have a nice life without you! WHY DO YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING I LOVE, DECADE! WHY?

**Tsukasa:** Because you said it yourself... You’re nothing without me.

{Tsukasa’s face shifts into Narutaki’s}

**Narutaki:** What the hell?

**Tsukasa:** You’re me, or rather, I’m you trying to stop me from being myself. Or perhaps this is your mind trying to come up with a reason for your meaningless existence in this show... Or perhaps it’s the author using headcanon for his abridged series... Or maybe... just maybe... I’m your son!

**Narutaki:** No! No it can’t be! _NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

* * *

**Narutaki:** No... noooo...

{Narutaki wakes up and realizes he slept while waiting for the next episode of Journey Through The Abridged to happen}

**Narutaki:** That... was all a dream?!

**Psyga:** Yeah. Fooled ya, didn’t I?

**Narutaki:** DAMN YOU PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

* * *

**Happy April Fools!**

**Episode 13 of Journey Through The Abridged will come soon!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was originally an idea in my head of how I wanted to write the April Fools special, which involved crossing over Decade with Private Practice, but I didn't have the time to write it down.
> 
> This idea came to me when I recalled a time when I was watching Decade as it was being broadcasted and seeing the cliffhanger to #12. I thought that Tsukasa would die and that he'd revive and awaken as the Agito of that world. I was obviously wrong, but I thought to myself: "What if?" and soon: "Now what?"
> 
> And yes, all those anime cameos are supposed to be read in their memorable Abridged Series voices, save for Sanageyama.


	14. Jiyuu No Tsukasa

{We resume our episode}

 **Narutaki:** FINALLY!

{With Yuusuke pushing Tsukasa out of harm's way}

 **Narutaki:** FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

* * *

{At a random parking lot}

 **Yuusuke:** KAITO! What the hell!?

 **Kaito:** Hey, it wasn't like I was intending to kill Tsukasa.

 **Yuusuke:** YOU _WERE_ , YOU PIECE OF SHI-

* * *

**Kamen Rider Decade:**

**Journey Through The Abridged**

* * *

**Kaito:** Alright, alright, so I did intend to murder Tsukasa in cold blood. So what?

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, you admit you're a liar. Okay, now Shouichi, give me back the buckle.

{Shouichi has a headache as the Chicago Bulls mascot appears}

 **Taurus:** Humans, do not be consumed by your desire for power! Humans must remain as humans!

{Taurus then sends a cross-shaped energy attack at the group, causing them to demorph and magically rebuild the G3-X helmet so that Yashiro can get a good look at Shouichi}

 **Yashiro:** {From the helmet} _Shouichi? Is that you? **YOU GODDAMN BUM!** It **IS** you!_

{Shouichi runs off}

 **Yuusuke:** You okay, Tsukasa?

 **Kaito:** So... no one's gonna bite that plot hook? Like, Yashiro knows a bit about Shouichi, it seems...

 **Tsukasa:** Oh go whine about it somewhere else. I'm gonna go find Shouichi and tell him to stop being a bitch.

* * *

{Just five minutes later}

 **Tsukasa:** Hey.

 **Shouichi:** I assume you want this weird belt thingy back?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. If you hadn't guessed by now, I sort of need that to live.

 **Shouichi:** You no longer have the power to fight... So just get out already.

 **Tsukasa:** No. I don't think you understand. You saw that Mary-Moo-Cow-on-steroids over there? Yeah. He's gonna kill us if Kaito doesn't beat him to it, and knowing the formula, you're too much of a wussy douche to actually fight him yourself.

 **Shouichi:** I SAID GET THE [EFF!] OUT!

{And then he uses his telekensis power which knocks Tsukasa out. Natsumi conveniently enters}

 **Natsumi:** Damn it, Tsukasa!

* * *

{At the G3-X headquarters}

 **Gendo:** So you managed to effectively kill two Grongi with a superior version of G3-X, I take it?

 **Kaito:** ... Something like that.

 **Yashiro:** Who gave you the suit?! It was that bitch Risa, wasn't it!?

 **Kaito:** I do not know a Risa... I _do_ know a Yuki though.

 **Yashiro:** That crazy rocket bitch! I should have known she'd steal my designs!

 **Kaito:** Yeaaaaaah... _That_ Yuki.

{Kaito sighs}

 **Kaito:** I was ineffective against the new enemy though.

 **Gendo:** The Unknown.

 **Kaito:** Wait, what?

 **Gendo:** Yeah, we know about the Unknown and the Grongi conflict-

{The scene gets interrupted}

 **Psyga:** It was at this point that I realized I shouldn't have had them call the Grongi... well, Grongi, but rather Unidentified Lifeforms, or as TV-N calls them, "Unknown Lifeforms", because that leads to this confusing mess.

 **Yashiro:** {Actual Dialogue} I will call them "Unknown". That way we can distinguish them from the Unknown Lifeform.

 **Psyga:** To which I would have written for Kaito...

 **Kaito:** But... Isn't it redundant if you call one group Unknown and another group Unknown _Lifeforms_?

 **Yashiro:** {Abridged Persona} **_SHUT THE [EFF!] UP! I DECIDE WHAT THEY'RE CALLED AND THEY WILL ALWAYS BE AWESOME!_**

 **Kaito:** Jeez! Take a chill pill!

 **Psyga:** Hindsight is a bitch sometimes. Alright, back to the scene.

{The scene continues from where Gendo left off}

 **Gendo:** Yeah, we know about the Unknown and the Grongi conflict from the few times they've fought. They only seem to harm the Grongi, so we can assume they're like Unidentified Being #4.

 **Yuusuke:** #4?

 **Gendo:** Yeah. A few years ago, one of the Grongi began fighting against the other Grongi. For a while, we thought he was our enemy, but after the first few fights, we managed to work an alliance with him... That is until he died.

 **Yuusuke:** D... died?

 **Gendo:** He and the last Grongi fought on the top of Mount Kuro. Both landing fatal wounds. G3-X was our best bet of replacing him.

 **Yashiro:** I... I am going to do something insanely epic that doesn't involve me bawling my eyes out.

{Yashiro leaves}

 **Yuusuke:** And I assume Yashiro had some sort of... connection with this #4?

 **Gendo:** She knew him more than anyone in this entire department. That's why she's so... protective of the system. That's why G3-X looks like #4.

 **Yuusuke:** I'm... gonna go check on her.

{Yuusuke leaves}

 **Kaito:** ... You _do_ realize I was talking about Gills, right?

 **Gendo:** ... Oh! That crazy green guy with the claws and tentacles! Yeah, we're gonna need a counter-plan for that.

 **Kaito:** Like G3-X powered up?

 **Gendo:** How the hell do you know about it!?

 **Kaito:** {Hiding a series guide to Kamen Rider Agito} A lucky guess.

* * *

{At the locker room}

 **Yashiro:** Shouichi... I...

{Yuusuke enters and sees the locker having Ashikawa}

 **Yuusuke:** ... I fail to recognize this.

{Then Kaito enters}

 **Kaito:** Sup. In your base.

{Kaito shoves Yashiro out of the way}

 **Kaito:** Stealin' your stuff.

{And opens the locker to get the G4 Chip}

 **Kaito:** As I figured. The G4 Chip! Even though the G4 System was made by another organization in general! Kthnxdie.

{Kaito shoots at Yashiro, but was saved by Yuusuke.}

* * *

{le photo studio, with Natsumi nursing Tsukasa... Cue the inevitable hurt/comfort fanfics}

 **Natsumi:** You know, maybe he shouldn't be direct with the formula approach.

 **Eijiro** : What do you mean?

 **Natsumi:** Like, he's going around telling people to stop being whiny douches. He's never done that before unless he wants to _really_ piss them off.

 **Tsukasa:** Don't make me sound more like a villain than I already am.

 **Natsumi:** Oh, Tsukasa, you're awake. Stay in bed and don-

 **Tsukasa:** Gonna tell Shouichi to grit those teeth.

 **Natsumi:** DAMN IT! STAY! IN! BE-

 **Tsukasa:** Here. Expository letter. Read it and all will be explained. Why I didn't do this to begin with is beyond me.

{With that, Tsukasa leaves. Natsumi reads the letter}

 **Natsumi:** It's from... Yashiro!?

* * *

{At a random location in the headquarters}

 **Kaito:** An amazing device this chip. This chip allows people to link their mental processes with the suit. Yes, it slowly kills them. Yes, the AI takes over once the user dies. But this is a nice treasure!

 **Yuusuke:** Treasure?

 **Kaito:** Didn't Tsukasa tell you that I'm only interested in treasures?

 **Yuusuke:** No. In fact, all I remembered from you is the judo chop.

 **Kaito:** Oooooooh. Okay. Let me tell it to you in a simple sentence: I care only for treasure.

 **Yuusuke:** Return that to Ane-san!

 **Kaito:** Not your Ane-san! I think by now you would have pieced together what Gendo said.

 **Yuusuke:** No. I refuse to think that!

 **Kaito:** Refuse to think what?

 **Yuusuke:** That I was the one that died in this world instead of Yashiro!

 **Kaito:** {laughs} That's _exactly_ what happened! An alternate version of you died fighting an alternate version of the Grongi King in an alternate version of Mt. Plot Device!

 **Yuusuke:** Still... I refuse to think that I am the one who died giving Yashiro the sadness and shame of being unable to save me! I refuse to see her cry! **HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke transforms into Kuuga}

 **Kaito:** Seems your journey will come to an end... Or perhaps...

** KAMEN RIDE: **

**Kaito:** Henshin!

** DIEND! **

{Kaito transforms. Before they fight, Yashiro fires at Kaito}

 **Yashiro:** **_YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD! I KNEW YOU HAD A DIFFERENT SUIT!_**

 **Kaito:** **HOLY CRAP! I was prepared to fight Riders, but a crazy police officer with a gun!? Screw that, I'm out of here!**

{Exit Kaito, pursued by a crazy police officer and Kuuga, though he drops the G4 Chip... Which Yashiro shoots}

 **Kaito:** **DUDE! WHAT THE HELL! YOU BLEW UP MY TREASURE!**

 **Yashiro:** It wasn't yours!

 **Kaito:** **Do you understand how much money is wasted on that tiny microchip!?**

 **Yashiro:** I don't care if I bankrupted the entire police department. I just want to ensure the crazy rocket bitch doesn't get that chip and start making those stupid robot Happy Meals she always makes.

 **Kaito:** **You'll pay for this, Yashiro!**

{And Kaito runs off. Yashiro looks to Yuusuke and backs a bit away in shock. Yuusuke demorphs.}

 **Yuusuke:** Yashiro...

 **Yashiro:** I... I didn't want to believe it... I shoved your face into the darkest parts of my memory and hid it behind a façade... I forgot about you when you showed up for the G3-X test... That is until now... I don't want to believe you're alive again, Yuusuke...

 **Yuusuke:** Yashiro... I...

 **Yashiro:** I killed you! You told me to shoot you!

 **Yuusuke:** Wait what?

 **Yashiro:** Do you not remember the battle on Mount Kuro? Do you remember what you told me up there? 'Shoot me in the belt'? 'Stop me from becoming the Ultimate Darkness'? Any of that ring a bell? Am I just having a mental breakdown and I'm imagining you on the spot now!?

 **Yuusuke:** Yashiro... there's a good explanation for this.

{Yuusuke spots Donald Duck poking his head from the corner and gesturing with a finger over his bill, followed closely with a swiping finger across the neck. Yuusuke glares at Donald.}

 **Yuusuke:** I'm not the Yuusuke you remembered. I'm... Another Yuusuke entirely.

 **Yashiro:** What?

 **Yuusuke:** I'm... From another world... A world where... Well... Where you died.

 **Yashiro:** Alright, now I'm going crazy. There's no way there's such a thing as other worlds.

 **Yuusuke:** Then you want to cover your ears for the next thirty seconds.

{Donald runs out and screams his head off}

 **Donald:** WAAAAAAAAAK! DON'T USE YOUR COMMON SENSE TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION CALMLY TO SOMEONE BECAUSE THAT IS MEDDLING! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

{Donald's head explodes}

 **Yashiro:** Yep. Definitely going crazy.

{Soon Natsumi enters}

 **Natsumi:** Yuusuke! Tsukasa-

{She sees Donald}

 **Natsumi:** Really, Yuusuke?

 **Yuusuke:** Hey! I had to explain to this Yashiro about what happened to my Yashiro and why I'm in her world looking like her Yuusuke.

 **Natsumi:** Wait, what?

 **Yashiro:** Yeah. That's pretty much it. And I'm going crazy.

 **Natsumi:** Well... Not really. See, there's about nine worlds, maybe ten counting my world, maybe another counting Tsukasa's, all of them have a different kink to them, your world's kink is that it's similar to Yuusuke's World, but the difference is that it's connected to something else and that Yuusuke died instead of you.

 **Yashiro:** Do you see why I'm going crazy now!? You speak nonsense and it confuses me! I'm gonna wind up like that crazy hobo, Shouichi!

 **Yuusuke and Natsumi:** Shouichi?

 **Yashiro:** Yeah! Shouichi! He used to be G3's user before he went crazy and went off to be a hobo! I sent a letter hoping he'd come back, but I haven't seen him!

 **Natsumi:** You mean this letter?

 **Yashiro:** Yes and- wait where did you find that?

 **Natsumi:** Do you want the confusing explanation or the simple one?

{Yashiro sighs}

 **Yashiro:** Might as well dive into craziness... Tell me the whole story.

 **Natsumi:** Alright, we went into Agito's World, this world, and Tsukasa became a postman who gave Shouichi your letter. Oh, by the way, Tsukasa needs your help rescuing him.

 **Yuusuke:** Ah. Okay. Yashiro, can I deploy in G3-X?

 **Yashiro:** ... What?

 **Yuusuke:** I'm gonna bring back Shouichi and-

 **Yashiro:** **_YOU'RE KUUGA, RIGHT!? THEN BE [EFF]ING KUUGA! THOSE UNKNOWN ARE THE FOOD AND YOU ARE THE HUNTER!_**

 **Yuusuke:** Then who will be G3-X?

{Yashiro looks to Natsumi}

 **Natsumi:** ... Oh hell yeah!

 **Yashiro:** She is my baby, and I will go to battle with my baby!

 **Natsumi:** ...You're a cocktease.

* * *

{Meanwhile, in the city, Shouichi was having a bum stroll while the Taurus Lord tries to blast him... Though Tsukasa manages to save him}

 **Tsukasa:** DUDE! Watch out!

 **Shouichi:** Why did you save me?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, one; I need my Driver back, and two; you need to come with us.

 **Shouichi:** I told you, I'm not coming back to that crazy woman!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, what?

 **Shouichi:** About a year ago... I was in the G3 unit with Yashiro. She was... alright, for the most part, but she kept getting crazy. Always pushing me to my limits and screaming at me.

{Flashback to him stumbling about... in the same set, then him getting tentacles, then him being attacked by the bugs, then him leaving the police.}

 **Shouichi:** I think her craziness transferred to me, since I began developing those crazy tentacles you saw earlier. Then the bugs came and I had to leave Yashiro to stop them from infesting the police station.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, well-

{Then the Taurus Lord comes and attacks them}

 **Shouichi:** Run, while you have the chance!

{Shouichi transforms into Kamen Rider Gills and fights the Taurus Lord... Meanwhile two motorbikes rolled in, the TryChaser and the Guard Chaser, with G3-X and Yuusuke riding them}

 **Tsukasa:** So, how's your stay in Agito's World, Yuusuke.

 **Yuusuke:** I found out that I died, but other than that, I'm good.

 **Tsukasa:** HAH! Alternate universes are so much fun!

 **Yashiro:** **Ooooooooooh, alternate universes... That makes sense.**

 **Tsukasa:** You told her?

 **Yuusuke:** Yeah.

 **Tsukasa:** And Donald Duck came?

 **Yuusuke:** Yeah.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, he's becoming quite a recurring character...

 **Yashiro:** **Anyways, we're here to save Shouichi! FOR LOVE AND PEACE!**

 **Tsukasa:** Ah, yeah. We gotta protect those smiles somehow.

{Tsukasa finds the DecaDriver on the ground along with the RideBooker}

 **Tsukasa:** Awesome. Let's go!

* * *

{The three Riders drive off and get ambushed by Gills}

 **Tsukasa:** There he is!

{Yashiro points a gun at him}

 **Yashiro:** **Ashikawa Shouichi, you are to return to the G3 Unit at once!**

 **Shouichi:** **NO! You'll never take me alive, copper!**

{Yashiro and Shouichi duke it out in the river underneath where, hey wait a minute, isn't that the place where Shotaro kicked that hot woman's ass in the Double Movie? And also that same place where Gentaro jumped into the river to get that letter Kengo threw out? Awesome... Wait, where was I? Oh, right.}

 **Yashiro:** **_WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM THE UNIT, YOU COWARDLY DOG!_**

 **Shouichi:** **To tell you the truth, I don't think I'm cut out for the G3 Unit! I can only take so much punishment!**

 **Yashiro:** **Don't you see that by being scolded and beaten down, I'm remolding you into the perfect hunter!?**

 **Shouichi:** **In the process, you made me THIS! A MONSTER! AND NOW THOSE DAMN ANTS ARE FOLLOWING ME AND INFESTING MY CRAP!**

{The Ant Lords come in, but Yuusuke jumps in and transforms into Kuuga Dragon Form, punching some of the Ant Lords to buy the two time to kiss and make up, but...}

 **Yashiro:** **STOP USING A PANSY FORM!**

{Yashiro pulls out a grenade launcher and blows the Ant Lords to hell.}

 **Shouichi:** **Hoooooooooly [BEEP!]**

 **Yashiro:** **Yeah! I made this armor so powerful that only the strongest of the strong will be able to wear it! If I could, I would also make it drink hot blood to make itself stronger!**

 **Shouichi:** **Why? Why are you doing this?**

 **Yashiro:** **Because I want to be the one protecting people instead of being the one protected!**

{Kaito pops in}

 **Kaito:** **I swear, if you start referencing that Magical Girl show, I'm gonna beat you up!**

{More Ant Lords break in and Kaito fights them off}

 **Kaito:** **I'm aware of your narration, damn it!**

{Kaito pulls out... Oh crap.}

**KAMEN RIDE: JOKER! FOURZE!**

{Kaito summons Joker and Fourze and the three fight more Ant Lords}

 **Kaito:** **Dear God, they're never ending!**

 **Shouichi:** **Why do you think the exterminator bills are so high!?**

 **Kaito:** **Time to end this!**

{Kaito slips in a card}

** FINAL FORM RIDE: FO- FO- FO-FOURZE! **

{Kaito shoots at Fourze, which transforms into a giant white rocket for Kaito to grab. The rocket blasts off and Kaito is sent flying into the air. Kaito tries to draw a card, but realizes he needs two hands to do it, and one of them is being used for the rocket.}

 **Kaito:** **Wait, how the hell do I do the finishing move then!?**

{And he flies up, never to be seen for the rest of the episode. Meanwhile Kamen Rider Joker looks around}

 **Shotaro:** **Where did he go? Hey! Get back here and finish off the Ant Lords! ... What am I, chopped liver?**

{Then a giant holographic cross comes down and blows up everyone, cancelling Shotaro out, killing the Ant Lords, demorphing Yuusuke and Shouichi, and knocking Yashiro's helmet out}

**Taurus:** Do you humans see the flaws that come with power? If you consume too much, you will be consumed by it. For...

{Tsukasa waltzes in}

 **Tsukasa:** For humans are foolish, right?

**Taurus:** Yes! We shall protect the humans from the Grongi.

**Yuusuke:** Wait, you're helping humanity out?

**Taurus:** We are, for humans are too foolish to go on their own whims.

**Tsukasa:** Don't let this cow fool you. Tell 'em about what you do to the humans once their Seeds have awakened.

**Taurus:** H-how did you know?

**Tsukasa:** JRPG Amnesia.

**Taurus:** Alright! So we kill a few humans here and there to prevent evolution, but they were exceptions! They were going to be corrupted by the power and we had to stop that! Look, outside of that bearded guy over there and possibly the pseudo-Grongi-

**Yuusuke:** Huh?

**Taurus:** We had not have a single case where we had to kill certain humans. So just leave us to our fighting of the Grongi, stay the hell away from any boats, and hopefully your corpse won't be found in a tree or under the ground...

**Tsukasa:** Okay, smartass. Why do you use the Ant Lords?

**Taurus:** Huh?

**Tsukasa:** You _do_ realize the Ant Lords don't give a crap about humans, right?

**Taurus:** Ummmmmm...

**Tsukasa:** Tell me, what are the Ant Lords doing right now?

**Taurus:** _Ummmmmm..._

* * *

{Cut to the Ant Lords massacring humans by the hundred. Meanwhile, on the rooftop...}

 **Baruba:** Dorudo, why the hell are you counting the Lords' kills?

 **Dorudo:** They killed off most of the other Grongi, so I have jack to do other than count _their_ kills.

{Baruba sighs and faceplams}

* * *

**Taurus:** Look, we are the Lords, we rule over you foolish humans, and we say you don't need power!

**Shouichi:** Hey! I didn't ask for the tentacles and freak mutation! Don't you have some sort of, like, way of taking it away?

 **Tsukasa:** Actually, they do.

**Taurus:** How the hell do you know?

**Tsukasa:** Look, get the Overlord here, get him to depower Shouichi, and we can all go home.

**Taurus:** And what of the artificial Grongi?

{Taurus points to Yashiro}

**Taurus:** Will _she_ lay down her arms, knowing that the world will be protected by us?

**Yashiro:** ... No.

**Taurus:** No?

**Yashiro:** Yes... I mean no... I mean... [Damn it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJEbOFzkyA&t=58s)! What I'm trying to say is that I won't lay down these arms, even with you protecting us, because I believe that humans can be stronger than they already are!

**Taurus:** But you saw how power corrupts the foolish.

**Yashiro:** It's true that humans are foolish. Running away to ensure no one else gets infested with ants, chasing the shadows of a lost loved one, stealing powerful technology for some crazy rocket bitch's schemes, being a total jackass...

 **Tsukasa:** Hey!

 **Shouichi:** Or yelling at people...

 **Yuusuke:** To hide your insecurity.

 **Yashiro:** Yeah. We make mistakes, yes, but we can grow from them and-

 **Tsukasa:** Learn from our mistakes and evolve with friends, yes! We got the drivel already! What? Is that our go-to-moral when we don't actually know the theme for the show? Here, I have one that fits the show better. Screw you gods; humans are better; welcome to a world of new solutions and bloody evolutions!

{Suddenly, Shouichi gains the Agito Belt}

 **Tsukasa:** See, like that!

 **Shouichi:** What the hell!?

 **Taurus:** Who are you to decide if humanity doesn't need us? Identify yourself, outsider!

{Tsukasa and the others prepare their belts/helmet}

 **Tsukasa:** I'm just a passing through Kamen Rider.

 **Shouichi:** A white tomorrow awaits us!

 **Yuusuke:** You are the food...

 **Yashiro:** And we're the hunters!

 **Tsukasa:** Remember that!

 **Tsukasa, Yuusuke, and Shouichi:** **HEN SHIN!**

 **Yashiro:** G3-X, equip!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{The four transform into their respective rider. [Cue Song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTGElV-2GQk) as Taurus jump into an abandoned warehouse where it has almost no relative space to the river bridge place... Also Ant Queen because why not.}

 **Tsukasa:** **Yuusuke! Shouichi! Handle this bitch, Yashiro and I will take care of the Chicago Bulls Mascot!**

{Yuusuke and Shouichi nod and fight the Ant Queen while the other two run for Taurus. He sidesteps Tsukasa's punch and socks him in the gut. He grabs Tsukasa}

 **Taurus:** How dare you allow a human to ascend to godhood?

 **Tsukasa:** **Because he was meant to be!**

 **Taurus:** You promised us to rid our world of Agito! Yet here he is, mocking us in the face!

 **Tsukasa:** **What the hell do you mean!?**

 **Taurus:** You were our salvation, but now I can see it plain as day! It's just as I had heard, DEVIL! The Destroyer of Worlds and Riders alike!

{Taurus swings his staff towards Tsukasa, but Yashiro takes the blow and has part of her helmet broken off}

**Shouichi: Quit insisting I'm a God! I'm just some human being who had gotten himself in this tough shit! **

{Shouichi realizes that he's aligned towards Taurus and prepares for his Rider Kick. [The cross horns open](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANEt7s6bu6Q) and the Agito symbol glows beneath Agito's feet.}

**Shouichi: Koooooh...**

{Shouichi leaps in the air and executes the Rider Kick... The music stops as the Ant Queen takes the blow and Taurus laughs}

 **Taurus:** NOW I'LL SPELL DOOM FOR YOU ALL! **_HAXOR BLAST!_**

{Taurus fires off a cross-shaped blast at the four Riders and runs off, knocking them onto the dock where Takeru had his first onscreen fight as ShinkenRed... There I go again with referencing past uses of certain sets. Well, he's a Sentai character. It's not like Shinkenger will be involved in any way to Decade.}

 **Tsukasa:** **Alright, Yuusuke, Shouichi, you're going to get hurt. A lot.**

**FINAL FORM RIDE: KU- KU-KU-KUUGA!**

****FINAL FORM RIDE: AG- AG-AG-AGITO!** **

{Tsukasa touched their backs and they bend over to Gouram and Tornador respectively. Ride The Wind plays.}

 **Yashiro:** **HOLY CRAP, THEY TRANSFORMED!**

 **Tsukasa:** **No shi- okay, you know what? Hop on the hobo, let's give these babies a test drive!**

{Tsukasa and Yashiro hop onto Gouram and Tornador and fly off to Taurus. Yuusuke strikes at Taurus with his horns, breaking the staff Taurus used for his Crossfire blasts in half, while Shouichi used the backburners on his tailpipes to burn him. Yashiro, meanwhile, fired her Gatling gun at Taurus. Tsukasa pulls out two cards and slots them into his Driver.}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: KU- KU-KU-KUUGA!**

****FINAL ATTACK RIDE: AG- AG-AG-AGITO!** **

{Yuusuke goes to Taurus and clutches him between his horns. Meanwhile, Yashiro noticed Agito's symbol form from the Tornador. Yashiro and Tsukasa hop off and give the Bull Lord a double Rider Kick/Break, blowing him up. The four Riders land, with Yuusuke and Shouichi transforming back to normal. However, the four notice Taurus still standing. He struggled to pick up his broken staff}

 **Taurus:** D-damn you... I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you damned devil! Damn you, Deca-

{Taurus then noticed that a halo forms on his head}

 **Taurus:** Wh-what!?

 **???:** Die... by your own hand.

 **Taurus:** N-no! No, please! I only tried to stop Agi-

{Taurus subconsciously stabs himself with his own broken staff as he glows in a golden light}

 **Taurus:** **Decade! How dare you ruin my reputation as a Lord! I shall never forgive you, Devil! Let my blood taint your mission!** **Fulfilling it will bring great disaster to this world and many others! And as you die in your failure, you shall remember my seething hatre-**

 **???:** Can you stop paraphrasing Urobuchi and die already?

 **Taurus:** ... Fine.

{Taurus fades away as the man in a sweater comes forth.}

 **Tsukasa:** **Oh... My... Overlord.**

 **Overlord:** Right on the dot. I apologize for Taurus'... rudeness. After his hiring of the Ant Lords and complete loss of composure, I just had to stop him from ruining what little dignity he had left. He _was_ right though. You _did_ promise us you'd wipe Agito from this world. And yet here you are, with both Agito and two cheap imitations by your side.

 **Tsukasa:** **I'd totally follow through with that promise if I remembered just when the hell I made that promise. See, JRPG amnesia and all that.**

 **Overlord:** I see... Three worlds remain, Decade. To be destroyed? To be saved? To be connected? Who knows. But, like you suggested, I shall give this Agito my offer. You have suffered, my pet. I wish to lift the burden on your back. Say the word, and I shall strip you of the seed that makes you Agito. You'll live a normal life...

{He looks to Yashiro}

 **Overlord:** Well, _almost_ normal.

 **Shouichi:** **No. I'm going to keep my powers and fight any evil that stalks my way! I need to protect myself and everyone with me... That includes Yashiro!**

 **Overlord:** Hm... Well, I suppose I _could_ just rob you of your seed anyways, but I won't. I made a bet with an... old friend, regarding the fate of humanity. I wish to see these humans reject you. Good luck, Agito... Oh, and Tsukasa? When you _do_ get your memories back-

 **Tsukasa:** **_If_ I get my memories back.**

 **Overlord:** Yeah. Remember your promise and make good on it. Hopefully this will be the last time I see any of you. My Lords will leave the humans alone for the time being and resume their quest to kill the Grongi, though after that, who knows what will happen...

{The Overlord teleports away}

 **Tsukasa:** **... Can I squee now?**

* * *

{Le HQ}

 **Gendo:** So, the boss of the Unknown finally revealed himself?

 **Yashiro:** Yes, but his underlings revealed that they're only hunting down Grongi. We don't bother them, they don't bother us.

 **Tsukasa:** Say, do you have any ship called the Akatsuki?

 **Gendo:** Um... I heard something about a voyage for one planned soon.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah, they're gonna go after the humans too. Don't count them out just yet.

 **Gendo:** I see. So, Yashiro, you've decided to become G3-X?

 **Yashiro:** Yes. The time for mourning is gone. I will make protect everyone's smiles. It's what _he_ would want.

 **Gendo:** And the hobo?

 **Shouichi:** Why does everyone think I'm a hobo?

 **Tsukasa:** He will also protect as this world's Kamen Rider.

 **Gendo:** Whaaa?

 **Yashiro:** Yeah. Turns out we're in a multiverse and that there's plenty of other universes out there and-

{Suddenly Donald Duck}

 **Donald Duck:** YOU'RE MEDDLING! WAAAAAAAAAK! {explodes}

 **Gendo:** ... Yeah, screw it. I'm going to go work at NERV now. You're all crazy.

{Gendo leaves}

 **Yashiro:** YEAH! With the four of us, no one can stand in our way! Right, Yuusuke?

 **Yuusuke:** Yeahahaha... About that...

* * *

{Outside the police station, with Yashiro throwing herself at Yuusuke's feet... or rather his motorbike's wheel}

 **Yashiro:** PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME AGAAAAHAAAAINNN!

 **Yuusuke:** But I have to save the nine worlds from destruction! We're almost done our quest, so just sit tight for about six weeks and I'll come back.

 **Yashiro:** No! It'll feel like a month! Or two! Or even half a year!

 **Yuusuke:** Again, just relax. If I stop here... I might make _her_ upset.

 **Yashiro:** Her?

 **Yuusuke:** ... The Yashiro of my world. She... She died in my world. Like how Yuusuke died in your world.

{Meanwhile, the sound of an exploding duck is heard}

 **Tsukasa (from outside the lot):** We should _really_ make a business out of this! Might make up for the money I _could_ have been making at Blade's World!

 **Yuusuke:** Listen, it's not gonna be a long wait. I'll be back, and when I do, you, me, and Shouichi will be one ass-kicking brigade. Alright?

 **Yashiro:** Alright. Go and fight in the name of Gloria. Sing our victory.

 **Yuusuke:** I will.

{Yuusuke drives off}

* * *

{Le photo studio}

 **Eijiro:** I'm so glad we got a crapton of Donald Ducks here!

 **Natsumi:** Aren't you gladder that Yuusuke's back?

 **Eijiro:** No. Not really.

 **Kivara:** Personally I'm glad Yuusuke is back.

 **Natsumi:** Why?

 **Kivara:** I was so concerned when he left.

 **Natsumi:** You got bitch-smacked by Yuusuke and then whined about how he sucks for the entirety of this world.

 **Kivara:** Yeah, but now that I think about it, I can see that Yuusuke was just being a tsundere to me. And I like playing hard to get.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh Overlord no!

 **Eijiro:** What about _me,_ Kivara? Was all those times we had fun together while the others actually did stuff not matter to you?

 **Kivara:** We Kivats are as mayflies. And you... Well, I doubt you're gonna survive for long. Yuusuke on the other hand...

 **Eijiro:** I knew it! I'm just Christmas cake! Next you'll say my pastries are stale!

 **Natsumi:** Oh great, now look what you did!

 **Eijiro:** I'm going to drown my sorrows with some squid and beer!

{Eijiro runs off crying while a dramatic sting is played.}

 **Yuusuke:** ... I feel awkward now...

 **Tsukasa:** Dude, you wanna do a badass hi-five?

 **Yuusuke:** Sure...

{The two hi-five so hard, it drops the painting for the next world. Tsukasa looks to it}

 **Tsukasa:** NONONONONONONONONONO! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MY MIND EXPLODE WITH ALL THE TIME PARADOXES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

{The painting is...}

* * *

{The Denliner rushes through the sands of time as "LET'S DO THE TIIIIIIIIIIIME WAAAAAAAAAAAARP AGAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!" plays in the background.}

* * *

{Diend still flies in space, when suddenly all of space disappears. He finds himself in a world filled entirely with dimensional walls. Also he demorphed.}

 **Kaito:** What the?

 **Narutaki:** Kaito!

{Narutaki emerges}

 **Kaito:** Ah, Narutaki. Pleasant of you to drop by. How's the hiatus going?

 **Narutaki:** Well, this update is sure to fix that.

 **Kaito:** For how long?

 **Narutaki:** As long as it takes. Tsukasa is becoming a bigger threat with each world he conquers. You and I both know what he is capable of doing.

 **Kaito:** I know, but I don't care. Treasure's all I care for. That and the show's spotlight. Admit it, you saw my movie, right? _We Know What Diend Did Last Summer_? It was a rousing success in my book.

 **Narutaki:** Well, once Tsukasa adapts the mentality of Hakaider and Silva combined, I have no doubts that even the rarest of treasures will survive a full-out multiversal catastrophe.

 **Kaito:** Who cares? The abridgement has to follow the status quo. We'll be fine.

 **Narutaki:** The Overlord wasn't in Decade. There was no mention of an AU Yuusuke in Decade. Yashiro didn't even become G3-X in the original show! Decade is actually warping how the show played out, so I doubt he'll stop there. He will destroy everything we hold dear!

 **Kaito:** ... Crap.

 **Narutaki:** I am taking a huge risk with this, but at this rate, we have no choice. Destroy Decade before he destroys everything.

{Narutaki takes out a box}

 **Kaito:** What's that?

 **Narutaki:** Like I said... We had no choice. I had to break the rules myself to do this. Kaito, use this power to finish him once and for all.

{Narutaki reveals to Kaito... The N-Touch.}

{To be continued}


	15. Getting It Past The Radar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, everyone's crazy! Three men get inside Natsumi, Yuusuke becomes a punk, Tsukasa wants to kill his past self, Eijiro still wants Kivara, and Kaito... OH GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS KAITO DOING!?

{le Photo Studio}

 **Tsukasa:** Well, here we are... Den-O's World. Enjoy your time paradoxes.

{Tsukasa looks at the Pass and ticket}

 **Tsukasa:** And goodbye time paradoxes!

{tosses them away}

 **Yuusuke:** Huh?

 **Natsumi:** Basically he could board a train that can travel through time with that ticket... Except he has to wait until a certain point and open a door. If he misses, he has to wait for another hour, eleven minutes and eleven seconds. Yes, that's exactly how they worked time travel here.

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, so the train can travel through time... Like a time machine?

 **Tsukasa:** OH, SHOCK OF SHOCKS! Time-traveling train is a time-traveling machine! Stop the presses, guys!

 **Natsumi:** Uh, Tsukasa, are you feeling alright?

 **Tsukasa:** Yes! I'm feeling myself! Nope, not possessed by a monster or anything!

{As it turns out, he was. He then attacks a random dude}

 **Natsumi:** Dude! What the shi-

* * *

**Kamen Rider Decade:**

**Journey Through the Abridged**

* * *

**Dude:** Alright, dude! You got me!

{Dude falls over as a Mole Imagin comes out}

 **Tsukasa:** Alright! Time to take the spotlight!

{Suddenly Before My Blood Is Dry}

 **Tsukasa:** **HENSHIN!**

{Tsukasa swipes a new Rider Pass through his newly obtained Den-O Belt}

** SWORD FORM! **

{And he transforms into Kamen Rider Den-O Sword Form}

 **Momotaros:** **I have... Arrived!**

{Ticking in the background... only for Momotaros to slash at it}

**Momotaros: Piece of crap! Now let's have at you!**

{He attacks the Mole Imagin}

**Momotaros: My finishing move...**

** FULL CHARGE! **

**Momotaros: Part Not Telling You Jack!**

{And he slashes the Mole Imagin to death}

**CUT OF THE WILL TO FIGHT!**

**Momotaros:... Wow, that fight was goddamned boring. What happened to the awesome fights I had? Is this all there is to this show now? It's always the same damn Imagin too! What happened? Did water damage all the other Imagin suits? Did they cannibalize them for some one-shot monster costume that will never appear again?**

**Yuusuke:** Woah, Tsukasa, you're freaking out now!

 **Natsumi:** No, that's Momotaros. Hold on, I'm about to do something stupid. LAUGHING PRESSURE POINT!

{And Natsumi pokes Tsukasa's neck and causes him to laugh, expelling the demon from within him. You see kids? Laughter isn't _just_ the best medicine; it's also the best way to exorcise someone.}

 **Yuusuke:** What the hell is that?

 **Momotaros:** I'm an Imagin! Haven't you watched Den-O? It's like, the best show right now! ... It's the _only_ show right now. All Den-O, all the time. Den-O meets Kiva. Den-O goes to feudal Japan for the tenth time. Den-O gets his train stole for the hundredth time. Den-O doesn't get featured in new movies but we use his name for marquee value. Den-O gets arrested by time police who came right the hell out of nowhere and HOW COME THERE ARE [EFF!]ING TIME POLICE AND WHERE THE [EFF!] WERE THEY!?

 **Tsukasa:** Seems in this world, Den-O's the local cash cow that got milked to death.

 **Momotaros:** You don't know the half of it. There was that one time we crossed over with this Disney show about a dude in the White House... And that other time we crossed over with Crayon Shin-chan... Let me possess you! I gotta entertain the kids!

{Momotaros swims to Tsukasa... only for Tsukasa to use Yuusuke as a human shield... The result?}

 **Yuusuke:** Wow, you're an ass.

 **Natsumi:** Took the words out of my mouth.

 **Tsukasa:** See, when an Imagin possesses someone...

 **Yuusuke:** The audience already knows!

{He tries to throw a punch to Tsukasa, but he dodges}

 **Tsukasa:** How about tea? And roasted duck?

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Tsukasa:** So we all know Den-O.

 **Natsumi:** But can I explained a water-down for the audience version?

 **Yuusuke:** Nah, all you guys need to know is because of plot reasons, I can't assume my normal Oni form.

{Kivara flies in}

 **Kivara:** Oni as in Onii-chan?!

 **Yuusuke:** WOAH! Who the hell are you?

 **Kivara:** Because there's no way my Onii-chan is this hot...

 **Tsukasa:** Wasn't _Kivat_ your brother or something?

 **Kivara:** Who? Forgot all about what-his-face. _Yuusuke_ 's now my BBBFF!

 **Natsumi:** Your what?

 **Kivara:** Well, time to break into a five-minute musical number about how awesome Yuusuke would be if he was my big brother, best fri-

 **Yuusuke:** Screw that! You're gonna waste all of our time! Come, let's mess up some more moles!

{Yuusuke storms off and the other two follow}

 **Eijiro:** Still drowning in Squid and Beer!

{A dramatic sting is played.}

* * *

{The middle of the street}

 **Natsumi:** Did we just seriously lose Momotaros?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. We just did.

 **Natsumi:** How did we do that?

 **Tsukasa:** Well... Shut up. We're going back in time.

 **Natsumi:** Why?

 **Tsukasa:** Because I wanna shoot my younger self and fight a man who has mommy issues. That's why.

 **Natsumi:** You watched Kaito's movie, have you?

 **Tsukasa:** HOW THE HELL DID HE MAKE A MOVIE?

 **Random Casanova:** Because he is good looking! That's what he is!

 **Tsukasa:** WOAH! Where the hell did you come from?

 **Random Casanova:** Hello and I'm here to make a movie starring this hot idol! How would you like to be in the sequel to a reimagining of Kamen Rider? We're focusing on V3!

 **Natsumi:** ... I don't like where this is going.

 **Random Casanova:** Do you have a pop idol song? We can use that as the basis for this plot we're thinking of. Think of it, a song that is cursed! People listen to it, and they get murdered by your nanomachine-powered ghost!

 **Natsumi:** What the hell does that have to do with Kamen Rider?

 **Random Casanova:** Absolutely nothing! Which is why it will rake in billions! Oh, and we're going to have this subplot of one of the Riders secretly dying, but we'll downplay it to a couple of scenes here and there.

 **Natsumi:** Shouldn't that be the main focus?

 **Random Casanova:** Teens nowadays care more about idols! They don't want pointless drama like someone dying! They want to know how that poor J-Pop idol got herself killed in the cruel machinations of cyber technology! Oh, and we might have to tie her into one of the Riders... You know, just to try and actually say it's a Kamen Rider movie and not a J-horror with the Kamen Rider title attached to it.

 **Tsukasa:** Right, time to end this one-sided conversation.

{Tsukasa pulls away the Casanova and punts him off}

 **Tsukasa:** How would you like to be in _my_ movie?

{Then Tsukasa gets attacked by another glowing ball}

 **Tsukasa:** Our focus is defeating Decade! And by defeat, I mean murder him to the point where we will wipe the tears of his loved ones with tissues!

{Tsukasa shifts between a white tuxedo with a white top hat and feudal Japan clothes}

 **Tsukasa:** But she's a good fry, and good fries are hard to come by.

{Then Tsukasa gets hit by a third ball and wears rapper clothes}

 **Tsukasa:** Mooooouuuu~! But I wanna kill Decade and hear his pleading to fall on my deaf ears!

 **Natsumi:** What the hell is going on? Why are you guys so focused on attacking Decade?

 **Tsukasa:** Because of dat, sucka!

{He points to a building that disappeared from time.}

 **Natsumi:** The buildings have disappeared!

 **Tsukasa:** There is an unsurprising lack of excrement to be had, Public Domain Detective.

 **Natsumi:** You're saying Decade did this?

 **Tsukasa:** No! We're saying he is!

 **Natsumi:** What? Stop confusing me!

 **Tsukasa:** Mou~! I just don't get it! He's a rider, we're a rider, shouldn't we just beat each other up?

 **Natsumi:** NO!

{thumb jab, the exorcist's best friend.}

* * *

{Meanwhile}

 **Yuusuke:** Damn it! The more I sit around, the more this unexplained anomaly happens! What the hell is going on?

 **Kaito:** Sup!

 **Yuusuke:** Who the bloody hell are you?

 **Kaito:** Just a guy interested in the treasure you're willing to give. You can bend your body to make a choo-choo train, right?

 **Yuusuke:** ... What?

 **Kaito:** This!

{He shows Yuusuke his card}

 **Yuusuke:** ... What?

 **Kaito:** I can save your world. I know who's affecting it, and with your help, we'll be able to destroy this threat.

 **Yuusuke:** Screw you! I do this _my_ way! This is _my_ show! It's _always_ been my show!

 **Kaito:** ... For how long? Too long, perhaps?

 **Yuusuke:** What are you babbling on about?

{Kaito gets out his Diend card and slots it in the Driver.}

** KAMEN RIDE: **

**Kaito:** Henshin!

** DIEND! **

{He transforms}

 **Yuusuke:** SWEET! A FIGHT! **HENSHIN!**

** SWORD FORM! **

{And he transforms}

 **Momotaros:** **I have... Arrived!**

{And he rushes off to fight}

* * *

{Meanwhile Natsumi is being chased by Rapper!Tsukasa... Wow that sounded wrong. Hope it doesn't get _more_ wrong}

 **Tsukasa:** Just get us to fight Decade and you'll be free to go!

 **Tsukasa:** FOOL! We can't kill him in this body!

 **Tsukasa:** We can, but it involves stabbing ourselves.

 **Tsukasa:** That is an unhonorable way of defeating your opponent!

 **Tsukasa:** Heeeey, girly, can you tell us what you know already?

 **Natsumi:** TSUKASA! SNAP OUT OF IT! LISTEN TO MY VOICE!

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi... I... I can...

{Tsukasa breaks free of the three Imagin}

 **Tsukasa:** Wow, I can't believe you saved me with the power of your voice.

 **Natsumi:** Thank God, I thought I was gonna have to stab you.

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, what?

**Ryutaros: We'll that's just great! _Now_ how will we kill Decade?**

**Kintaros: Perhaps a surprise attack.**

**Urataros: Isn't that unhonorable?**

**Kintaros: It's only unhonorable if I am not the one doing it!**

**Ryutaros: Guys, we can possess someone else, you know? LET'S POSSESS THE GIRLY!**

{And they all go to Natsumi and possess her... Yes.}

 **Natsumi:** I don't always enter women, but when I do, I-

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, first the tentacles, now we have three men in a woman's body. I think we've crossed a line here. AO3 will have our asses for this!

 **Natsumi:** The only one who has crossed the line is YOU! And we shall end you faster than you can say wait what!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait wha-

 **Natsumi:** Lemee start! **HENSHIN!**

** GUN FORM! **

{And she transforms into Kamen Rider Den-O Gun Form}

**Ryutaros: Mind if we beat you? Can't hear ya!**

Tsukasa: Good, I won't need to answer. Henshin.

{Ride The Wind plays}

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{He transforms}

**Tsukasa: I'd like my summer mandarins returned please.**

{Actual Dialogue, BTW. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to call Natsumi 'Natsumikan' sooo...}

**Ryutaros: Your what?**

**Tsukasa: Never mind, let's fight!**

{The two fight, as do Momotaros and Kaito on the other side of the city}

* * *

**Kaito: You're going to make _perfect_ target practice for my new power!**

**Momotaros:** **What do you mean?**

{Kaito gets out the N-Touch}

** G4! **

** RYUGA! **

** ORGA! **

** GLAIVE! **

** KABUKI! **

** CAUCASUS! **

** GAOH! **

** ARC! **

** ETERNAL! **

**FINAL KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!**

{He transforms into Diend Complete Form}

 **Momotaros:** **Am I supposed to be intimidated by this? HYAH!**

{Momotaros runs off to fight Diend.}

* * *

{Meanwhile Tsukasa is getting his ass kicked by Ryutaros}

**Tsukasa: Damn... At this rate... Don't worry, Natsumi, I'll save you. HENSHIN!**

{And he inserts in a card...}

**KAMEN RIDE: AGITO!**

{He transforms into Kamen Rider Agito}

**Ryutaros: Hey! I didn't know we were changing forms!**

** AXE FORM! **

{And Den-O switches to Axe Form}

**Kintaros: My strength will make you die! Then will make your loved ones cry!**

**Tsukasa: EAT FIST!**

{Tsukasa punches Kintaros... only for it to not faze him}

**Kintaros: Your fist was not as delicious as you thought! SUMO PALMS!**

{Kintaros slaps Tsukasa with... well, his palms}

**Tsukasa: In that case...**

{Tsukasa gets out a card and slides it in}

**FORM RIDE: AGITO! FLAME! ... Please! HIIII! HIIIII! HIHIHIIIII!**

**Tsukasa: Oh come on! Get it right!**

{He changes into Agito Flame and attacks Kintaros. As they are fighting, Gelnewts from Kamen Rider Dragon Knight come and attack random people}

**Tsukasa and Kintaros: The hell?**

**Mimihiko:** **Watch our movie to understand what the hell is going on!**

**Alligator Imagin: Sweet! Time for me to do... something!**

**Tsukasa: Should we stop this fighting and help these guys out?**

**Kintaros: No! I want blood, and I won't stop till I _see_ blood!**

**Tsukasa: Guess I've got to make you endure the Storm!**

**FORM RIDE: AGITO! STORM!**

{He changes into Agito Storm}

**Urataros: I'll step in now.**

** ROD FORM! **

{He changes}

**Urataros: Mind if I reel you in?**

**Tsukasa: Are you hitting on me?**

{SUDDENLY BWONG! And they got transported to...}

 **Natsumi:** {While inside her mind} This is the world where... Where...

**Urataros: Let's kill each other!**

**Tsukasa: Alright!**

**FORM RIDE: AGITO! TRINITY!**

{He changes into Agito Trinity and the two fight as Never Surrender plays for the next scene}

* * *

{Momotaros continues to fight Kamen Rider Diend Complete, when he touches on the touch pad multiple times.}

** DEN-O! **

**KAMEN RIDE: GAOH! NEGA DEN-O! YUUKI! G DEN-O! **

{The four Riders are summoned and they start attacking Den-O. Gaoh, Nega Den-O and Yuuki slash at him while Diend and G Den-O fire at him. Meanwhile Narutaki looks at the battle.}

 **Narutaki:** Kaito... You weren't supposed to use your powers to kill the Rider of this world... This world is already at its end... Damn you, Diend... I trusted you. You're no worse than the Devil himself.

* * *

{Meanwhile, Tsukasa is attacking Urataros with both the Halberd and the Sword while the latter holds him off with his rod.}

 **Natsumi:** So... this is what becomes of the world...

{Cue mandatory flashbacks to the Rider War}

 **Natsumi:** What becomes of the nine worlds... if we failed... Why... Why are we failing!?

**Tsukasa: Time to end this!**

****FINAL ATTACK RIDE: AG- AG-AG-AGITO!** **

** FULL CHARGE! **

{And the two riders do their Rider Kick on each other}

 **Natsumi:** STOP IT!

{And they collide, blowing up the world}

* * *

{Den-O is defeated in battle by the other Den-O riders}

 **Kaito:** **Give up this charade and allow me to turn you into a train!**

**Momotaros: Don't give me that crap! I'll take you all out right now!**

**Kaito:** **Suit yourself...**

{He puts a card into the Driver}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: ALL RI-RI-RI-RIDERS! **

{All five Riders charge up their finishing move...}

* * *

{Nothingness...}

 **Natsumi:** We... failed... didn't we?

{But she awakes on the Den-Liner}

**Urataros: Hey there, sorry for possessing you and trying to kill your friend and blowing up the world and everything... Wanna date?**

**Natsumi:** Woah woah woah! What the [EFF!] do you _mean_ the world blew up?

{Suddenly Owner}

 **Owner:** He means exactly what he said. Your fight has caused the destruction of Den-O, the Rider of this World. As a result, The World of Den-O is no more!

 **Natsumi:** What!?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. We did it, Natsumi! We blew up the world!

 **Natsumi:** No! That can't be right! What about the _other_ Den-O? The one Yuusuke was possessed by?

 **Owner:** Momotaros? He's the main form of Den-O... So... If you didn't destroy him... Who did?

{Suddenly Narutaki}

 **Narutaki:** I know who killed Den-O...

* * *

{Gaoh, Nega Den-O and Yuuki all swing their blades towards Momotaros, slashing upwards until he is in mid-air. Kaito and G Den-O then fire a black and blue beam and several red and blue beams respectively, which combine into a purple beam that hits Momotaros and blows him up, leaving nothing behind.}

 **Kaito:** **Hmph. So this is my new power? ... Hahahaha... HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS THE GREATEST TREASURE IN THE MULTIVERSE! With this... I can surely defy the path set before me and save my world... Brother.**

{Kaito laughs maniacally as the World of Den-O falls apart in fire and disappearing buildings}

{To Be Continued}


	16. Going Out On A Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to save Den-O and his world, Tsukasa must go back in time to stop both Kaito and the Alligator Imagin from destroying the time stream.

**Naomi:** Want some tea?

 **Natsumi:** Your world just blew up and all you care about is tea?

 **Naomi:** Yep!

 **Natsumi:** Wow, what mood whiplash... At least I became a Rider...

 **Urataros:** **Sadly, that doesn't count since you're unconscious by the time we possessed you, so we're the ones being Den-O and we were using you as a meat puppet.**

 **Natsumi:** ...

{Thumb jab. Urataros laughs}

 **Natsumi:** Ruin my dream again and I'll break your pressure point so that it won't be fixed.

 **Kohana:**...Awkward. So, Tsukasa, do you understand the situation?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. So, we have a time machine, right?

 **Kohana:** Yeah.

 **Tsukasa:** Why not go back and save Momotaros?

 **Kohana:** ... That's the most intelligent thing I heard all day. Let's do it.

 **Tsukasa:** By the way, I'm supposed to call you Maruko.

 **Kohana:** Huh? Why?

 **Tsukasa:** I don't know. Guess the subbers just don't give a shi-

* * *

**Kamen Rider Decade:**

**Journey Through The Abridged**

* * *

**Tsukasa:** t about the consistency of names or even explaining _why_ I'm calling you Maruko instead of Hana... _Ko_ hana... Whatever you want to be called... Hey, that's weird, did anyone notice something cutting off my swear?

{All of them shrug}

 **Natsumi:** By the way, how did we manage to survive? Is my grandpa okay?

 **Kohana:** Yeah, we just moved the building to the back of the train along with a bunch of other people who are complaining about how we're running the train.

 **Natsumi:** Ah. Well, we should try to fix the problem and-

**Ryutaros: PARTY!**

* * *

{le photo studio. The group is sitting there as Ryutaros is painting on the backdrop and Tsukasa is taking photos}

 **Natsumi:** Okay, can we stop changing up the mood, please? We're going to give the audience whiplash.

 **Tsukasa:** What?

 **Natsumi:** Whip- Okay, seriously, I was right about to walk into that one.

 **Kohana:** We actually have no idea what's going on either. All we know is that there's this guy and he's screwing time up. Stop him, we stop the time paradoxes.

 **Tsukasa:** Thought we have to stop Kaito from killing Den-O.

 **Kohana:** That too.

 **Tsukasa:** And Ryotaro isn't here?

 **Kohana:** Yeah, we couldn't get him to renew the contract and appear in more Den-O. We might be Japan's answer to Marvel, but we're not pulling a Marvel Cinematic Universe! So we've replaced him with anoth- I mean... Time paradoxes made him young like I was.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, where did Narutaki go?

 **Natsumi:** Yeah, he was here a minute ago.

 **Kohana:** Well, it _was_ a long wait for us to actually do anything, so I guess he up and left.

 **Natsumi:** Yeah... Alright, let's go save Den-O!

 **Tsukasa:** Narutaki... What the hell is he doing?

* * *

{le white space with all dimensional walls}

 **Narutaki:** You've gone too far this time!

 **Psyga:** What do you mean?

 **Narutaki:** Half the episode's being skipped! Decade isn't even able to do that!

 **Psyga:** Well, I couldn't really write up the episode due to the lack of a Den-O... Something _you_ had a hand in.

 **Narutaki:** I swear, first chance I get, I will take that N-Touch away from him!

 **Psyga:** That, and most of the episode so far is expositing about stuff the audience already knows.

 **Narutaki:** You _do_ realize that they're supposed to exposit for people who don't know Den-O, right?

 **Psyga:** Yeah, but by now we already know. So what's the harm?

 **Narutaki:** How much to you even care for this arc?

 **Psyga:** Not that much. It's segueing into a movie that has nothing to do with Decade. It's Kikaider in Zawame all over again. The ending's bullshit, so I'm making my _own_.

 **Narutaki:** WHAT!?

 **Psyga:** Be my puppet and act out my directions.

 **Narutaki:** I won't forgive you for this... Decade isn't the _only_ destroyer!

 **Psyga:** But I _am_ the only creator right now. Run off right now. You have a lot to think about for destroying Den-O's world.

 **Narutaki:** Damn you...

{Narutaki disappears}

* * *

{LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIIIIIN!}

{Den-O is defeated in battle by the other Den-O riders}

 **Kaito:** **Give up this charade and allow me to turn you into a train!**

**Momotaros: Don't give me that crap! I'll take you all out right now!**

**Kaito:** **Suit yourself...**

{He puts a card into the Driver}

**FINAL ATTACK RIDE: ALL RI-RI-RI-RIDERS! **

{All five Riders charge up their finishing move...}

{Suddenly, the Den-Liner comes out of nowhere and rams into the Den-O Movie Riders, destroying them. Tsukasa jumps out, already as Decade, and fights Kaito}

**Tsukasa: Kaito! Stop!**

**Kaito: Tsukasa, ah. Good. Now to fully test this new power I've obtained.**

**Tsukasa: Wait... you changed!**

**Kaito:... No shit, Sherlock.**

{Kaito pops presses on a symbol}

** AGITO! **

**KAMEN RIDE: G4! **

{Kamen Rider G4 appears and attacks Tsukasa with his gun}

**Tsukasa: Crap!**

{Tsukasa rolls out of the way and hides}

**Kaito: You can't hide, Tsukasa. Narutaki _really_ wants your head on a silver platter!**

{Kaito points to Den-O}

**Kaito: Well, at least we'll entertain ourselves with Den-O for a bit.**

{G4 moves to attack the weakened Den-O, just then, Tsukasa begins to have flashbacks of him and Yuusuke}

* * *

{various clips from past episodes play}

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _Wait, so the train can travel through time... Like a time machine?_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _OH, SHOCK OF SHOCKS! Time-traveling train is a time-traveling machine! Stop the presses, guys!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _Dude, you wanna do a badass hi-five?_

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _Sure..._

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _DUDE! SPOILERS!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _What? That's not gonna happen for another five years... Or eight in our case._

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _Ooops! Look at the time! I gotta... uh... clean the restaurant! Yeah!_

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _That Tsukasa... Surely he has his comrades in his thoughts when it comes to doing his job._

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _If you continue to win like that, you can decree Natsumi as innocent!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _I wasn't winning!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _Why are you here, anyways?_

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _Because I'm Kuuga!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _That's not a valid excuse!_

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _It worked for Batman._

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _Because he's a badass. Everyone's arguments are invalid when Batman's concerned._

**_Yuusuke:_ ** _I will protect everyone's smiles!_

**_Tsukasa:_ ** _Yeah! When he protects their smiles, I'll protect his! Did you know his smile's good?_

* * *

{[Tsukasa runs out and blocks G4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkLayNNDwv0)}

**Tsukasa:** **_STOP!_ **

**Kaito: What the hell do you think you're doing?**

**Tsukasa:** ** I won't let you hurt my friend! **

**Kaito: Since when did Momotaros become your friend?**

**Tsukasa:** ** He's not! Yuusuke's my friend! **

**Kaito: Yuusuke? The useless, spineless guy who always tries to fight but ends up failing in the process?**

**Tsukasa:** ** Yes, I know! He's weak, yes. He's incompetent, yes. He may be an idiot, but even idiots have their moments to shine. **

**Kaito: Heh, why do I even care? Narutaki asked me to take care of you, and that's _exactly_ what I'll do. Then, I'll turn Den-O into a treasure I've been seeking for a long time...**

**Tsukasa:** ** I won't let you do that! You're also going to hurt Yuusuke! **

**Kaito: No one cares! When they see Den-O, they don't see the person behind the belt, just the voice that comes out of it! Yuusuke has become just like Ryotaro: a demoted extra!**

**Tsukasa:** ** He's more than that! HE IS KUUGA! **

{Tsukasa Rider Punches G4 just as he was about to fire at Den-O. A bit of fire came out of his fist as G4 stumbled. Tsukasa opened his hand as a couple of cards emerged from the Ride Booker and digitized themselves to show new forms for Tsukasa}

**Kaito: Who are you to decide if a character has merit? Identify yourself, outsider!**

**Tsukasa:** ** I'm the protector of Yuusuke's smiles... REMEMBER THAT! HENSHIN! **

{Cue Ride The Wind as Tsukasa slots in a card}

**FORM RIDE: AGITO! BURNING!**

{Tsukasa transforms into Agito's Burning Form as he lays more and more punches onto G4}

**Kaito: Give up. Yuusuke's only purpose now is to serve as a puppet for my plans.**

**Tsukasa:** ** Enough... THAT'S ENOUGH! **

{Tsukasa rider punches G4 so hard that he is set on fire and blows up. Kaito sends in another Rider}

** FAIZ! **

** KAMEN RIDE: PSYGA! **

{Kaito summons Kamen Rider Psyga who flies in and knocks Tsukasa off his feet. In the time it took for him to fall over, he popped in a new card}

** FORM RIDE: FAIZ! AXEL!**

{He transforms again and presses onto his Axel Watch}

** START UP! **

{Tsukasa runs off, jumps off a nearby wall, and slashes at Psyga a bit with his Ride Booker before slotting in a card}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE! FA-FA-FA-FAIZ! **

{Tsukasa fired five energy drills at Psyga, who had no time to react to the speed. He Rider Kicked him five times and destroyed him. As he lands, the timer counts down as he looks to Kaito, who summons two riders}

** BLADE! **

**KAMEN RIDE: LARC! LANCE!**

{He summons the two and have them run to Tsukasa, who was busy in his deformation phase. He began to get beaten around while he struggled for his next card. Den-O rushed in just as Lance was about to stab Tsukasa}

**Momotaros: Hey! Quit taking a beating and fight, damn it!**

**Tsukasa:** ** R-right! Henshin! **

**FORM RIDE: BLADE! JACK!**

{Tsukasa flies into the air before swooping down and striking down Larc. He turns to Lance and puts in an Attack Ride card.}

**ATTACK RIDE: SLASH!**

{Tsukasa slashes at Lance and blows him up. Tsukasa looks to Larc getting up and puts in another card}

**ATTACK RIDE: THUNDER!**

{The Slash and Thunder cards resonate within Tsukasa as he swoops over and slashes at Larc, destroying her in the process. Kaito takes the time to summon another Rider}

** KIVA! **

**KAMEN RIDE: REY!**

{Rey runs into battle and attacks Den-O, but Tsukasa, upon landing, hacks away at Rey before using another card.}

**FORM RIDE: KIVA! DOGABAKI! **

{Instantly, Tsukasa rams Rey with his Dogga Hammer and slashes with his Garulu Saber. Rey stumbled back a bit as Kaito readies a card}

**FORM RIDE: RYUKI! BLANK!**

{Kaito shoots at Tsukasa, changing his form from Kiva's Dogabaki Form to Ryuki's Blank Form. Tsukasa got knocked across the room from Rey's claws}

**Kaito: You don't think I was going to let you do your fancy changing tricks, right?**

{Rey begins to land the final blow until Narutaki stepped in and personally stopped Rey with his bare hands.}

 **Narutaki:** Kaito, this has gone long enough.

**Kaito: I have the Devil on the ropes! Isn't that what you wanted?**

**Narutaki:** If it means having a world destroyed, I won't allow it!

**Momotaros: EAT THIS!**

** FULL CHARGE! **

**Momotaros: MY FINISHING MOVE... PART 2!**

{Momotaros swings his blade and cuts Rey down, blowing him up. Kaito simply presses another button.}

** RYUKI! **

**KAMEN RIDE: FEMME!**

{Kamen Rider Femme steps in and slashes away at Momotaros. Narutaki walks off as Kaito fires at him. However, Narutaki shielded all the blasts with a dimensional wall.}

**Kaito: Idiot...**

{Kaito loads his Final Form Ride card as Femme cuts away just enough to put space between her and the Imagin.}

** FINAL FORM RIDE: DE- DE- DE-DEN-O! **

{Kaito fires at Den-O, but Tsukasa jumps in}

**ATTACK RIDE: GUARD VENT!**

{Tsukasa grabs a simple shield and blocks the attack. The shield easily dented under the full force of the attack. Kaito scoffs and fires again, only for him to deflect it off his shield. It breaks and Kaito fires one last time. Tsukasa uses another card}

**ATTACK RIDE: SWORD VENT!**

{With one swift motion, Tsukasa swings at the blast and stops it. The sword shatters in two, but Tsukasa simply kicked the broken top of the sword towards Kaito's hand, knocking the N-Touch out of the Diendriver and sending it plummeting to the pavement below the building. Kaito reverts back to his normal Diend form}

**Kaito: You bastard! You ruined my one chance to make my dream come true! You really _are_ the Devil... I won't forget this!**

{Kaito slots in a card}

**ATTACK RIDE: INVISIBLE!**

{Kaito goes away. Tsukasa looks to Narutaki.}

 **Narutaki:** Decade! Don't think that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship! You are still the Devil! What happens next will be yours to decide!

{Narutaki enters a wall and disappears. Tsukasa turns to Momotaros}

 **Tsukasa:** **You okay?**

**Momotaros: Yeah. I am... Hey! I see a shifty guy below us... He must be the perp!**

**Tsukasa:** **Huh, I- Oh, yeah, I see him! He's cackling to himself and all that... Yeah, let's go get him!**

* * *

{Chase ensues}

 **Chase:** Huh?

{Not you!}

 **Chase:** Oh.

{Back with the actual Chase. Tsukasa and Momotaros catch up to the Alligator Imagin}

 **Tsukasa:** **Alright, end of the line!**

**Alligator Imagin: Uh, dude, you _do_ realize I can just go back in time, right?**

**Tsukasa:** **Uh...**

**Alligator Imagin: Tootles!**

{He warps into the body of a boy}

 **Tsukasa:** **Well shit.**

**Momotaros: Come on! We gotta get to that Imagin before he does... whatever he's supposed to do!**

{And so they go on the Den-Liner to go back to the past}

* * *

{The past}

 **Kid:** Wait a minute; I've been doing nothing with my life except bike to this exact point every day for the past ten years... I should change that! Yeah! Tomorrow, I won't bike here tomorrow! I will bike to the beach and-

{drops dead as the Alligator Imagin comes out}

**Alligator Imagin: NOW TO BLOW UP RANDOM STUFF!**

{goes around blowing stuff up and by doing so, he turned a nearby building into a pool}

**Alligator Imagin: Uh... _exactly_ what I intended! Y-yeah!**

{Suddenly Decade and Den-O}

**Alligator Imagin: Wait, you followed me here this far!? How!?**

**Tsukasa:** **...**

**Momotaros: ... You're a dumbass.**

{The two proceed to fight the Imagin}

 **Tsukasa:** **Throwback time!**

**KAMEN RIDE: KIVA!**

{Tsukasa fights as Kamen Rider Kiva but he manages to get his ass handed to as does Momotaros, complete with stealing his DenGasher}

**Momotaros: Is... is this the end?**

{Tsukasa runs in and stops the Alligator Imagin from landing the final blow}

**Momotaros: Of course not. I'm a fan favourite. I'm always the fan favourite. Of course I can't die. I need to be milked some more...**

**Tsukasa:** **You don't have to if you don't want to! If you really want to... then you can just quit being Den-O!**

**Momotaros: What?**

**KAIJIN RIDE: LEO SOLDIERS!**

{Suddenly three Leo Soldiers attack the Alligator Imagin}

**Kaito: You took away one treasure, but now I'll take my _other_ treasure now.**

**Momotaros: Hey, asshole, we're trying to stop this Imagin!**

**Tsukasa:** **Yeah, now's the time to not be a selfish prick.**

**Kaito: _I'm_ the selfish prick? I'm going to use your power for the betterment of my world!**

**Tsukasa:** **See what I mean? Puuuure selfishness.**

**Kaito: It's not what it sounds like! If you give me a minute to explain myself, I'll-**

**Tsukasa:** **Don't care, stealing your card.**

{Tsukasa yanks the card from Kaito as it turns into the Momotaros FFR Card}

**Kaito: What the f-**

** FINAL FORM RIDE! DE- DE- DE-DEN-O! **

**Tsukasa:** **This might tickle.**

{Tsukasa _shoves Momotaros' head into his body_ }

**Momotaros: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!**

**Tsukasa:** **Told you it'd tickle.**

**Momotaros:** THAT WAS PAINFUL AND- Wait... SWEET! I'M MYSELF AGAIN!

{Yeah, Tsukasa transformed Momotaros into... Momotaros. And Yuusuke got booted out.}

**Kaito:...**

**KAMEN RIDE: RIOTROOPERS! KUROKAGE TROOPERS! MAGE! **

{Kaito summons three sets of three mooks to support the Leo Soldiers}

**Kaito: New orders: destroy Decade, capture Den-O.**

**Kurokage Trooper: Roger!**

**Roger:** Yes?

{Kaito shoots Roger and proceeds to steal his wallet as the Riders begin to fight Tsukasa and Momotaros, all while The Next Decade plays. Meanwhile, Yuusuke gets up.}

 **Yuusuke:** TSUKASA! **Henshin!**

{Yuusuke transforms into Kuuga and rushes into battle. The Alligator Imagin takes on the Leo Soldiers, Tsukasa takes on the Riotroopers, Momotaros taking on the Kurokage Troopers, and Kuuga on the Mages}

**ATTACK RIDE: SLASH!**

** EXCEED CHARGE! **

{Tsukasa and the Riotroopers run at each other, only for Tsukasa to take a few well-placed cuts. He responded with a single slash on all three of them, destroying them in the process. Meanwhile, during the fight with Kuuga, the Mages activate their belts.}

** YES! SPECIAL! Understand? **

{The Mages begin to shoot large fireballs at Yuusuke.}

 **Tsukasa:** **Yuusuke, catch!**

{Tsukasa kicks up an Axel Ray Gun to his hands and tosses it to Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** **CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Kuuga turns into Titan Form and tanks the fireballs. He walks towards them as the Mages run to him. He gives each of them a well-placed slash across the belt and destroys each of them. Meanwhile, Momotaros is slashing through the Kurokage Troopers before they all activate their Sengoku Drivers}

** MATSUBOKKURI SPARKING! **

{The Matsubokkuri Armor Parts all fold up onto their respective Troopers' heads as they spin wildly around. Auras of pinecones appear on them as they begin to crush Momotaros.}

 **Tsukasa:** **No! Momotaros!**

{The Ridebooker opens up and spits out a new card. Tsukasa looks at it and sees it's a new Form Ride Card}

 **Tsukasa:** **At this rate... HENSHIN!**

**FORM RIDE: DEN-O! CLIMAX!**

{Tsukasa transforms into Den-O's Climax Form and slots in another card.}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE! DE-DE-DE-DEN-O! **

{Tsukasa's Gun Denkamen opens up and fires off a barrage of missiles towards the Kurokage Troopers, exploding two of them while Momotaros breaks free of their hold.}

**KAIJIN RIDE: HEKIJA INVES!**

{Kaito fires a beam at the remaining Kurokage Trooper and turns it into a Hekija Inves. It lashes out at Momotaros, kicking up tons of sand from him before swinging its claw at Tsukasa, who blocks it with his Ridebooker. At this same time, the Alligator Imagin defeats the remaining Leo Soldier and closes in on Momotaros. Yuusuke looks to the spears they had. He rolls over to pick it up.}

 **Yuusuke:** **CHOU HENSHIN!**

{And changes to Dragon Form. Kaito smirks underneath his helmet before Yuusuke runs over and Rider Kicks him. Kaito fires at Yuusuke, who deflects the bullets with his shaft before poking him with the rod several times. With one mighty swing, he knocks the Diendriver out of Kaito's hands into the air.}

 **Yuusuke:** **CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Changing into Pegasus Form, he grabs the Diendriver, which changes into his bowgun. He aimed at the Hekija Inves just as Tsuaksa lands a deadly Slash attack onto him. He fires right at the wound, destroying the Inves. He aims at the Alligator Inves next before Kaito gives him a roundhouse kick, knocking the gun out of his hands and reducing him into Growing Form. The gun changes back to the Diendriver as he picks it up. He runs at Tsukasa, firing wildly}

**Kaito: TSUKASAAAAAAA!!!**

{Tsukasa takes notice and slips in a card}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE! DE-DE-DE-DEN-O! **

{The Denkamen all junction down to his arm as he runs to Kaito}

 **Tsukasa:** **KAITOOOOO!**

{He shields the other blasts with his arm before giving Kaito a Boisterous Punch. It ended up with the Axe Denkamen's blade impaled into Kaito's chest. Blood starts to seep out as Tsukasa removes the Denkamen and they move back to their positions as the song ends. Kaito stumbled a bit back. He laughs}

 **Tsukasa:** **K-kaito!**

**Kaito: Tsukasa... You've finally proven to me... that you're nothing but the Destroyer of Worlds... Damn you... Decade.**

{Kaito slips in one last card}

**ATTACK RIDE: INVISIBLE!**

{He disappears. Tsukasa turns to see that the Alligator Imagin isn't quite done and begins his attack on Momotaros, who is just barely fighting with his Momotarosword. He looks over to Yuusuke, reduced to his Growing Form. He puts in a card in the Decadriver}

**ATTACK RIDE: DENGASHER!**

{Tsukasa creates an extra DenGasher and tosses it to Momotaros, who grabs it and counters the Alligator Imagin. He slots in another card for Kuuga}

** FINAL FORM RIDE: KU- KU- KU-KUUGA! **

{He transforms Yuusuke into the Gouram as it flies towards the Alligator Imagin.}

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE! DE-DE-DE-DEN-O! **

{Meanwhile, both DenGashers' blades fly off. One was busy slashing through the Alligator Imagin as an aural version of Den-O is seen slashing at the Imagin, switching between the four main forms with each slash. The other blade flies up Yuusuke's butt. I wish I was making this up. Momotaros swings it towards the Alligator, smashing him around. However, after an overhead smash from the Gouram, the Imagin still stands. Both blades fly towards him as Sanbika plays}

 **Tsukasa:** **OUR FINISHING MOVE!**

 **Momotaros:** **DENGASHER! DECAPITATION MODE!**

{Yuusuke transforms from his Gouram form back to his Titan Form, ready to strike the Alligator Imagin in the back}

 **Tsukasa, Momotaros, and Yuusuke:** **DECADE VERSION!**

{All three blades connect the Alligator Imagin as buckets of sand gush from him. He explodes}

**CUT OF THE WILL TO FIGHT!**

{Tsukasa and Yuusuke transform back to their human forms}

 **Momotaros:** We did it! We stopped the Imagin from messing up time!

 **Yuusuke:** Why was he even messing it up in the first place?

 **Tsukasa:** I just chalk it up to him being an Imagin messing up time for preserving his future.

 **Momotaros:** Well, their future is technically gone, so now they just destroy for the sake of destroying. We just form some sort of detective agency to keep the remaining Imagin in check... Or something. Look, Den-O continuity is weird. Speaking of detectives, you remind me of someone, kid.

{Momotaros looks to Yuusuke}

 **Yuusuke:** Wait, detective... Hey, do you know a person by the name of Yashiro?

 **Momotaros:** Yashiro? You mean the person turtle-jerk's engaged to? 

**Tsukasa:**... What.

 **Momotaros:** Yeah! This chick by the name of Yashiro joined up with the agency soon after we took down this faker. She and the turtle instantly fell in love and before you know it, that turtlely asshole proposes to her... while whooing two women from across the globe!

 **Yuusuke:** Okay, that guy's not getting away with cheating. Tsukasa, let's stop him before Yashiro finds out and takes matters into her own hands.

 **Mimihiko:** **You guys won't be going anywhere!**

{Mimihiko appears}

 **Yuusuke:** And you are?

 **Mimihiko:** **I'm not going to explain! Watch our movie to get who we are!**

 **Momotaros:** So that's it then... The Imagin we stopped was just a foot soldier!

 **Mimihiko:** **What? No! We're completely unrelated to that guy!**

 **Tsukasa:** So... what are you doing here?

 **Mimihiko:** **Isn't it obvious? We're the big evil villains of this world!**

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, let's fight then!

 **Mimihiko:** **No! Fight us in our movie!**

 **Tsukasa:** What?

 **Mimihiko:** **But you're not going to be the one to fight us. Den-O will be! You're just gonna... stand there... and be important for only a scene or two.**

 **Tsukasa:** So... What's the point of me even being there?

 **Mimihiko:** **Marque value! Sure, we can just make a Den-O movie without shoehorning you into it, but there are some people who have lost interest in Den-O. And so, we must involve you into this crisis! That way, people who like your show might decide to give the movie a viewing!**

 **Tsukasa:** And how are you going to do that?

 **Mimihiko:** **By ending this episode on a cliffhanger that will ensure that people must watch the movie to get the proper closure!**

 **Yuusuke:** That has got to be the dumbest idea I have ever heard.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah! That's terrible marketing! What kind of show would pull such an act?

 **Mimihiko:** **I can see you disapprove of the idea, but this will be a practice we will be using from now on! We will make episodes upon episodes that will serve as nothing but cheap promos for our movies, thus raking in the big bucks!**

 **Momotaros:** You bastards... Of all the dirty slimy tricks, you pull this?!

{Momotaros goes to attack Mimihiko, but he sidesteps and hits Momotaros with his club. Momotaros, with his sword, swings at Mimihiko just as he falls, breaking his helmet. He is revealed to be...}

 **Random Casanova:** Yes! For the betterment of the wallet!

 **Tsukasa:** You! You're the guy that tried to get Natsumi to do that Kamen Rider movie!

 **Random Casanova:** Crap! I've been discovered!

 **Yuusuke:** Alright, fess up! Who do you work for?

 **Random Casanova:** Surely you'd know by now. I answer only to the big guys above. I've been with this project from the beginning.

 **Tsukasa:** Stop being vague!

 **Random Casanova:** Toei! Alright? It's freaking Toei!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, what? Why would Toei want to destroy this world?

 **Random Casanova:** It doesn't! We're trying to _save_ Den-O!

 **Momotaros:** Excuse me?

 **Random Casanova:** A few years ago, Den-O started out as a light and soft visit to the Kamen Rider franchise... We didn't expect that four monsters would manage to make it a success. Everyone loved it. Train-enthusiasts, stay-at-home moms, even the people in the USA who grew up on Power Rangers!

 **Tsukasa:** So... you milked the show.

 **Random Casanova:** Yeah! We saw more cash than ever before! _Everybody_ wanted merchandise! So, our focus went to Den-O. People can't get enough of it... or so we thought... Recently, we had reports of Den-O's ratings sinking. Nobody seems to like him anymore... So we're trying to make him relevant by involving you. Draw fans from your show.

 **Tsukasa:** But that's not going to fix anything. Say I cameo in your film. Then what? You're still gonna be faced with this problem.

 **Random Casanova:** Then we'll make more films!

 **Tsukasa:** That's not the point! Look at Momotaros!

{The Casanova turns to Momotaros, who drops on his ass as his sword falls and clatters onto the floor}

 **Tsukasa:** The viewers aren't the only ones who are tired. Isn't that right, Momotaros?

 **Momotaros:** Y-yeah... I'm done fighting... Let someone else take the torch.

 **Random Casanova:** We can't! This is Den-O's World, remember? If we don't continue Den-O, this world will cease to exist!

{Suddenly...}

 **Donald Duck:** WAAAK!? You just mentioned world! You're meddling!

 **Random Casanova:** What? No! I'm just pleading for these guys to let us continue Den-O so that our world can live!

 **Donald Duck:** There you go again! Don't ask outsiders for help when it comes to apocalyptic matters! That's bad! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

{he explodes. Then awkward silence until Tsukasa speaks}

 **Tsukasa:** I know it's hard to let go, but you can't honestly expect Den-O to be the only cash cow. There are others you can use. Perhaps it's time for a change.

 **Random Casanova:** Ch-change!? That's forbidden! We would incur the wrath of the fans!

 **Tsukasa:** Maybe you would. But, you'd also welcome a fresh set of eyes to the table. Trust me, I had some doubt that Yuusuke over here wouldn't fit the bill of being Kuuga.

 **Yuusuke:** Hey!

 **Tsukasa:** But eventually, I grew attached to him. Sure, we have our moments where we squabble and quarrel, but there were some times where I felt like he was worthy of being Kuuga. I admit, he's not the most useful member of our crew, but he at least has the heart to do what he thinks is right. Something that Godai would approve of. Perhaps it's time for a change. Perhaps it's time for someone new.

 **Random Casanova:** New... THAT'S IT! Tsukasa, you're a genius! I know exactly how we can save this world! So long! I will remember this!

{The Casanova leaves}

 **Tsukasa:** Yuusuke, I think I just managed to save this world without giving its rider a verbal bitch smack.

 **Yuusuke:** Those words... are what you said to me really true?

 **Tsukasa:** More or less. Now come, let's go home.

{The two leave. Momotaros also leaves}

* * *

{le Denliner}

 **Momotaros:** Hey! I'm home!

{nobody notices him}

 **Momotaros:** ... Hey! I'm back!

{nobody notices him}

 **Momotaros:** ... Well, might as well leave and-

 **Everyone in the Denliner:** **WELCOME BACK!**

{Then they start beating him up. I wish I was making this up}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Natsumi:** So wait, you told Momotaros to retire?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, more like I told the executives to tell Momotaros to retire. Not sure if it'll result in blowing up the world or not.

 **Natsumi:** I swear, if you do, I will hurt you in ways you wouldn't even dream of.

 **Eijiro:** Well, I feel like the future of this world's in good hands.

* * *

{Someone appears on the Denliner}

 **Momotaros:** Kotaro! What are you doing here?

 **Kotaro:** I got word as soon as I did. Oni are messing up the time stream.

 **Momotaros:** What!? But we already took care of it!

 **Kotaro:** Yeah. You just took out _one_ of the Oni. But another Oni is continuing the other Oni's work. You did your part. Now, leave the rest to me.

{Kotaro puts his hand on Momotaros' forearm}

 **Kotaro:** You deserve some rest.

{Kotaro smiles}

 **Momotaros:** Thank you. But hey, if you need any help, you know who to call.

{Momotaros places his hand on Kotaro's forearm. The two nod their heads}

 **Owner:** Then it seems... like a new journey is beginning.

 **Momotaros:** LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!

{The Photo Studio see the Denliner fly off}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Natsumi:** Huh, that ended better than I expected.

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah... Well, the rest is their story to follow. They're free to continue it however they wish.

 **Yuusuke:** Hey, I think I know what might also save Den-O.

 **Tsukasa:** What's that?

 **Yuusuke:** IMAGINAAAAAATIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOON!

 **Tsukasa:** ... No.

 **Yuusuke:** Oh come on, that was funny, right?

 **Tsukasa:** Remember when I said my words were more or less true?

{Tsukasa and Yuusuke walk around the studio}

 **Yuusuke:** Tsukasa! Come on, at least admit that was at the very least funny!

{Tsukasa sidesteps just as Yuusuke rams into Eijiro who was cleaning the graffiti painting. Soon, the painting of the Eiffel Tower-}

 **Everyone in the Photo Studio:** Tokyo Tower!

{Alright, alright, point is Kabuto's World. Suddenly Sieg}

 **Sieg:** Advent! At the top of- 

{He gets shot by Eijiro}

 **Eijiro:** YAY! Now I get to make that Ugly Duckling Pie I always wanted to make!

 **Natsumi:** Holy crap! Wait, what was Sieg doing in Kabuto's World?

 **Tsukasa:** I think he was trying to get us to be in that movie the executive was talking about. Well, nothing for us to worry about now.

 **Eijiro:** Ooooh, I can't wait for Kivara to have this pie! She'll love me for it!

 **Yuusuke:** Speaking of, where is she?

* * *

{In Den-O's World, in an alleyway, Kaito sits by a wall, bleeding out and even having a bit of blood come out his mouth}

 **Kaito:** Sorry... I tried my hardest... I tried to save our world... I guess I couldn't do it... Sorry... Brother...

{Kaito slumps over as Kivara flies over}

 **Kivara:** Aaaaw, little Kaito's sleeping. Isn't that cute? Wakie wakie, Kaito.

{Kaito doesn't respond}

 **Kivara:** Well, if you won't wake up, then I'll force you to. Ga...bu~!

{She flies over and bites Kaito on the cheek. Demonic energy flowed from her mouth to Kaito's skin as he wakes up.}

 **Kaito:** What... happened?

 **Kivara:** You broke another convention! A secondary rider never dies for good in the middle of a story.

 **Kaito:** I... died? Yeah... I took a hard blow... but why did you revive me?

 **Kivara:** Because it seems we have a similar story. You're not the only one with a big brother...

 **Kaito:** What are you implying?

 **Kivara:** I grow sympathy for you. I know what it's like to be rejected. I know what it's like to try and save the family you love, only for it to backfire. Do you know what I'm saying?

{Kivara's eyes slowly turn to a purple shade. Kaito slowly nods, then smiles.}

{To Be Continued}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious enough, I'm not abridging the Onigashima Battleship movie, mainly because it's a Den-O focused movie with the Decade characters reduced to a brief cameo. Heck, the next episode barely acknowledges the movie's existence in some sort of passing narration, like how Shotaro talks about how Futo's hit some hard times when he's looking at the damaged tower in reference to the movie, or even Den-O's own tie-in to I'm Born.
> 
> Maybe at some point I'll abridge it, but if so, it won't be tied to Journey Through The Abridged, but rather Mini-Bridged.


	17. Doh, alright

**Dio:** Huh? You thought it was a new episode of Journey Through The Abriged? No! It is I, DI{Shot}

 **Kaito:** {reloads} Alright, now we got _that_ out of the way... Hello everyone. Welcome to Journey Through The Abridged's second annual April Fools episode! We actually have a bit of a problem. We're broke!

{Kaito points to an empty vault}

 **Kaito:** Now, I know what you're thinking: "Kaito, you're soo cool and soo awesome! I don't want to see you be bankrupt!" And that, my friends, is why we set up a Patreon. For an easy instalment of pennies a day, _you_ get to see me _not_ be broke! And maybe the author would continue the show at a faster pace! Now, what are the perks, you say? Well... For one buck per episode, you get to see important plot twists!

* * *

 **Takatora:** Mitsuzane, there is something I have to tell you.

 **Mitsuzane:** What is it, brother?

 **Takatora:** Our father is really [PATREON-SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!]

* * *

 **Kaito:** That's just a taste of what we can do. For five bucks, you get to make sure we don't kill off a random person to bump up ratings! And for ten bucks-

 **Narutaki:** {off screen} THAT'S ENOUGH!

{Narutaki runs to Kaito and decks him in the face}

 **Narutaki:** My apologies to everyone. We here at Journey Through The Abridged discourage the abuse of Patreon and we'll never resort to it at all.

{Kaito shoves Narutaki off screen}

 **Kaito:** Very well. We'll just establish our brand name some more with good old merchandise! You too could get your very own... Shit, what's a catchy catchphrase? Oh yeah! The "Oh God, Everything Hurts" T-Shirt! And everyone can't resist a Donald Duck plushy that explodes when you mention the word "world" to him!

 **Narutaki:** And of course, you can get ourselves a nice cease and desist from the loveable people at Disney.

 **Kaito:** ... Right. So... Um... {tosses away the merch} We have a gaming channel set up! Right now, you can catch up on the new show: Two Chases Play!

* * *

{le GTA V}

 **Chase:** Alright, they don't call me the hotshot for nothin'!

{Chase fires a sniper rifle at the wheel of a red car as it careens into a ditch.}

 **Chase:** Get 'em, Chase!

{Chaser runs to the car}

 **Chaser:** COME OUT, KAMEN RIDER! FIGHT ME!

{Chaser shoves a guy out of the car. Then he stops.}

 **Chaser:** Wrong guy!

 **Chase:** Well, shi-

* * *

 **Kaito:** We also have Yuusuke plays Five Nights at Freddy's while Tsukasa goads at Yuusuke.

* * *

 **Tsukasa:** Oh, sure. The easily scared butt monkey is going to play the scary game. How original.

 **Yuusuke:** Oh come on, it's not that scary.

{He sees Foxy running through the hall}

 **Yuusuke:** See?

{Yuusuke chuckles, then cracks up once Foxy pokes his head through the door going "EEEEEEEEE-"}

* * *

 **Kaito:** Be sure to subscribe for tons more footage! And be sure to like, comment, and-

 **Narutaki:** Okay, can we finish this sketch now?

 **Kaito:** ... Party pooper.

* * *

{le meeting hall}

 **Mr. Belt:** Welcome to MacGuffin Girls Anonymous.

 **Natsumi:** Okay, this is pushing it. Now we have a belt as a member?

 **Mr. Belt:** Mai had been undergoing a bit of stress with her role of MacGuffin Girl, so I took over as key speaker for tonight's session. How have you made progress on your status as being the damsel in distress?

 **Natsumi:** I became a Rider.

{Everyone gasps}

 **Mr. Belt:** Oh noes!

 **Natsumi:** I survived!

 **Phillip:** It's a death sentence. Statically, most female riders die off more than male riders. More so if they are MacGuffins.

 **Kengo:** I didn't even _transform_ into Fourze and I got killed the moment I put on the belt!

 **Mr. Belt:** Wait... I'm technically a rider too since I transform along with Shinnosuke... NOOOOO!

{Mr. Belt flies off out the window}

 **Ankh:** Great... _Now_ who will be our key speaker.

{Suddenly the doors open}

 **???:** Hello?! Is this the Chosen One Anonymous?

{A blonde wearing a red leather jacket walked in}

 **Natsumi:** No. It's not.

 **???:** Shit. I knew I should have taken that left turn at Tallahassee.

 **Yui:** Well, you're more than welcome to stay, Miss...

 **Emma:** Erm... Emma Swan.

 **Mana:** Alright, maybe you can help with our topic. We're talking about being damsels in distress.

 **Emma:** ... Really?

{She walks up to the podium and takes out a gun}

 **Emma:** Alright, first step: you are _not_ weak. This will be your tool to demonstrating that. You can also use your fists if you're cool with that.

 **Natsumi:** ... I think I'm gonna like this person.

* * *

 **Eijiro:** PLEASE LOVE ME, KIVARA!

 **Kivara:** The sad thing is, I'm such an enigma to the show that me having a thing for humans is a legit headcanon.

 **Yuusuke:** Speaking of headcanon, remember how we theorized about there being many Yashiros?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah?

 **Yuusuke:** We should get a list of the Yashiros in the worlds we visited thus far.

 **Tsukasa:** Well, already there's Kuuga and Agito's Yashiros. And we established that the other Yashiro was getting it on with Urataros.

 **Yuusuke:** Ugh... Don't remind me...

{suddenly Psyga}

 **Psyga:** Well, time for me to shed some headcanon!

* * *

Journey Through The Abridged Presents:

The Many Yashiros!

* * *

 **Yashiro From Kiva's World:** Wataru! You're king, right?

 **Wataru:** Er... Yes? I am technically the king after murdering my father who was also king... So... yes.

 **Yashiro From Kiva's World:** MARRY MY DAUGHTER!

{She tosses Yuki in Wataru's face}

 **Wataru:** AH! She's, like, twice my age!

 **Yuki:** Oh, don't worry. I'll marry old men if I have to. I don't care for age.

 **Wataru:** This is breaking all kinds of laws! AAAAAH!

{Wataru runs off}

* * *

 **Yashiro From Ryuki's World:** And that is how the system works.

 **Random Judge Dude:** Amazing! So instead of simply executing people for these random murders, we can just have people use Time Vent to go back in time! But... Wait, how come we don't just use the Time Vent?

**Yashiro From Ryuki's World: BECAUSE I MADE THE SYSTEM AND IT IS SUPER AWESOME AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT I'LL SHOVE A LEEK UP YOUR ASS!**

* * *

**Yashiro From Blade's World:** What do you mean this company's out of business? What do you mean our chairman ran it to the ground!?

 **Chefs:** Well... At least we can keep BOARD as a restaurant... right?

 **Yashiro From Blade's World:** Screw that! Kazuma, you're promoted to Chairman now! Replace those dead weights with new recruits... Those two chefs over there might work.

 **Two of the three chef girls:** Huh? What?

* * *

 **Yashiro From Faiz's World:** Takumi, you're suspended.

 **Takumi:** Huh? Why?

 **Yashiro From Faiz's World:** We have a strict 'No Zombies in school' policy for a reason. {points to the dead high school children} _That_ is why.

 **Takumi:** But I didn't kill them! The Lucky Clover did! Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't noticed them.

 **Yashiro From Faiz's World:** We're in a high-school setting in Japan. Everyone knows Student Council trumps actual staff, even when they're utter dicks. Now I gotta get a new council... Hey, how would you like a quirky squad of fashion-obsessed fascists?

 **Takumi** : I don't like where this is going...

 **Yashiro From Faiz's World:** Oh simmer down, you pig in human clothing... Or rather _wolf_ in human clothing...

* * *

 **Yuusuke:** ... Tsukasa, have you noticed that all these Yashiros are dicks?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, you can't win them all.

{Kaito enters}

 **Kaito:** Alright, so we did the Yashiro scene, the meta scene, the MGA scene, a bit of an Eijiro scene, next up is Narutaki cashing in on a fad.

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, what the hell-

* * *

 **Narutaki:** Huh?

{Narutaki finds himself in an elevator as club music plays}

 **Narutaki:** The crap?!

{He finds a singing South Korean man in-between his legs.}

 **Psy:** OUP!

{Psy crawls out and gets up to Narutaki.}

 **Psy:** Hello.

 **Narutaki:** What the hell is this? Who the hell are you?

 **Psy:** Mother father gentleman.

{The elevator opens to reveal that they are in a swamp. Psy does that Gangnam dance out of the elevator as Narutaki wanders out of it. As he does, he gets held up by three people, one of them wearing a sheep's mask and another with a lit lantern.}

 **Wyatt:** Narutaki... we're here.

{He blows it out. One second late-}

 **Sheep-Man:** [DEP!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMl9YsW_Qqc)

* * *

{Yuusuke jumps back}

 **Yuusuke:** JESUS!

 **Tsukasa:** Wait, _that's_ what scared you?

 **Kaito:** Shit... Alright, new plan! Mount a rescue operation for Narutaki! Who knows what Psy and a couple of WWE wrestlers could do with him?

 **Natsumi:** Wait, that guy wants us dead. Should we even save him?

 **Kaito:** Yes! Without him, Decade won't have a story! Now come, we must save-

{suddenly a guy rolls out of a nearby closet}

 **Gary:** My family!

 **Kaito:**... Yeah sure, why not.

{Kaito pulls on some chains and it brings them to the World of ~~Demon's~~ Dark Souls. As they go outside, Tsukasa changes into a knight}

 **Kaito:** Now come, we have to save him in time for us to abridge a Den-O movie that only has us be appearing for a few seconds and-

{Suddenly Gary gets stabbed by a guy in a black coat with beedy little eyes and dies}

 **Yuusuke:** GARY NOOOOO! YOU ONLY HAD ONE LINE OF MEMORABLE DIALOGUE, YET YOU WERE MY MOST FAVOURITE PERSON! We shall mourn you by ignoring your existence for much of the series, never bring you up for as long as the show runs, and ruin any sad moment next episode with hijinx from the closest ensemble darkhorse we could find. Or a quartet of hot quirky chicks.

 **Tsukasa:** Okay, who the hell was that?

 **???:** If you had known half the shit Gary did to us, you would have let him died!

 **Tsukasa:** Really, who the hell are you?

 **???:** HE LEFT US TO DIE!

 **Tsukasa:** Well, you're giving me enough of an excuse to fight. Henshin.

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{Tsukasa transforms into Kamen Rider Decade, gets out his Ride Booker, and slashes at the black swordsman... only to not even scratch him. Well, he did, but the wounds didn't quite stick}

 **???** : Alright, I think that's enough of a warm-up for you.

{He brings up his health bar (and his name), showing the attacks barely dented him}

 **Kirito:** We can do this all day, and still not get anywhere.

 **Tsukasa:** **What _are_ you?!**

 **Kirito:** Well, there's a simple answer for that. I'm your God! And he's fresh out of-

{suddenly a Hydra comes out from the swamp and chomps into him}

 **Kirito:** AAAAAAARGH!

 **Kaito:** Well, that was fruitful... Come, let's go find Narutaki!

{the group run off deeper into the swamp. Soon they get into a hut where they could hear some Korean talk. Kaito gets out his gun and nods to the two. He sneaks into the hut, then blows the door down.}

 **Kaito:** ALRIGHT! Let Narutaki go and we'll... Wait, what?

{They see Narutaki at a green screen with Psy as the Wyatt family is rolling the camera. Suddenly, Shrek walks up to them}

 **Shrek:** What are you doing in mah swamp?

 **Kaito:** Um... We're here to free Narutaki?

 **Shrek:** Oh, him? Well, we actually agreed to do a South Korean version of Let It Go, complete with that dance trend that Psy is doing.

 **Kaito:** Well, we need him for our journey.

 **Shrek:** Oh no. He signed a contract with us when we did Let It Go... Say, where's your little bat friend?

 **Narutaki:** She... She's not here.

 **Shrek:** Well, that's too bad... Well, looks like we have more extras... Shall we get to work on making our own Frozen movie? We'll change the premise to make it look like we're being original, even cast Will Smith in a role, but everyone will know we ripped off from Frozen because one of our staff was a former Pixar employee.

 **Kaito:** Fine. I have a proposition for you. If I were to tell you a story, would you let Narutaki go?

 **Shrek:** ... Okay.

 **Kaito:** Alright, it's called the Ugly Barnacle.

* * *

{le old Japan}

 **Kaito:** Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that-

 **Shrek:** Everyone died. I know how the story goes.

 **Kaito:** I was getting to that. He was so ugly that he was picked on by strange newt monsters.

 **Barnacle:** Huh? Monsters?

 **Kaito:** But he was saved by a magic genie.

 **Barnacle:** You leave this poor kid alone, you hear me, ruffians?

 **Kaito:** But the newts didn't listen. So they hired the Black Swordsman to handle it.

 **Kotaro:** **YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH! KILLIN'S WHAT I DO BEEEEESSSST!**

 **Kaito:** And while he was taking care of the newts, they met a kid whose purpose was to fill in for a role.

 **Not-Ryotaro:** Hey there! Let me dump to you some exposition about a magic jewel that was split in half by an archer.

 **Barnacle:** Is it the Shikon Jewel?

 **Not-Ryotaro:** Of course not, silly!

 **Barnacle:** So why all this random crap happening to me?

 **Deneb:** MAGIC TIME PARADOX!

 **Mimihiko:** Sup! Watch me henshin!

{He transforms into Silvera}

 **Barnacle:** How come he's able to transform?

 **Deneb:** MAGIC TIME PARADOX!

 **Barnacle:** Why is that your excuse for everything?

 **Deneb:** MAGIC TIME PARADOX!

 **Barnacle:** Are you ever going to explain or exposit about something without saying Magic Time Paradox?

 **Deneb:** MAGIC TIME PARADOX!

 **Barnacle:** ... Never mind.

 **Kaito:** And so, the silver oni beat up the black swordsman and leaves him without doing the obvious thing of killing him.

 **Not-Ryotaro:** Barnacle, here. It's a ticket to a train that travels through time. Now, there's a very strict limit where you have to open a door at the exact second, but no pressure, okay?

 **Barnacle:** I'M STRESSING OUT RIGHT NOW!

 **Not-Ryotaro:** Perfect! Now run from those newts that are trying to kill you!

 **Barnacle:** Okay!

 **Kaito:** And so he runs off, away from the barnacle-hating newts. He soon finds himself on the edge of time because he opened the right door at the right time.

 **Barnacle:** I'll give you the random magic MacGuffin stone I had with me this whole time if you let me tag along with you guys and run off.

 **Owner:** ... Fine. Not like I had anything else to lose anyways.

* * *

 **Shrek:** If I didn't know any better, I say you were just distracting me so that your friends could rescue our latest actor.

{Shrek notices a missing Narutaki}

 **Kaito:** You guessed correct.

{Kaito pulls out his DienDriver and shoots in Shrek's face, followed by TV Static}

* * *

{We interrupt our story to bring you:}

**The Three Stoogetaros In:**

**Feud All Japan**

* * *

**Ryutaros:** Yay! We get to eat rice!

 **Kintaros:** A puny morsel for me!

 **Urataros:** Right, while you bicker about rice, I'm gonna go spy on women in the bath house.

 **Kintaros:** Of course you would!

{They suddenly get removed from possessing the Arms Monsters.}

 **Ryutaros:** Well, more rice for me!

 **Riki:** I shall join you. By eating this table.

{Mandatory laugh track}

 **Granny:** What the hell is going on here? Don't make me get my crossbow!

 **Urataros:** Crap! Nosy neighbours!

{Yet more laugh tracks}

 **Narrator:** Will they get out of this pickle? Find out next- Oh God Damn It, Ura!

{Urataros possesses Jiro and makes out with the neighbour}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, we're safe here for now, Narutaki.

 **Narutaki:** Thank you. That's probably the first time I'm glad to see you.

 **Natsumi:** Well, we're in the middle of a swamp where everyone is trying to kill us, so I guess we'll be fine.

 **Sieg:** Sup!

 **Eijiro:** Wait, didn't we bake you into Ugly Duckling pie?

 **Sieg:** No, that was my brother, Zeon. He likes to pretend to be me.

 **Yuusuke:** ... I'm actually sad that I got that joke.

 **Tsukasa:** We're out of the movie, Sieg. You can stop being at the house.

 **Sieg:** Nonsense! From what I see, you guys need my help!

 **Tsukasa:** For what?

 **Kotaro:** YOU!

{Kotaro storms into the room}

 **Kotaro:** You turned my grandfather into a kid! How _dare_ you? Now my timeline's messed up because he hadn't hit puberty by the time I'm conceived!

 **Tsukasa:** Huh? We established that your grandfather turned into a kid because of contract deals!

 **Kotaro:** Fix this, right now!

 **Tsukasa:** ... Guess there's no other way around it, right Sieg?

 **Sieg:** **Yep.**

 **Tsukasa:** Then it's settled. We're going to Chou Den-O's World.

{Tsukasa unfurls the chain and shows Chou Den-O's World}

* * *

{Those cliffs that the climax will take place on so we might as well mash all the scenes together instead of breaking up the action}

 **Oni Hunter:** KILL THE ONI!

 **Momotaros:** Ah crap! How did I get involved into this!?

{Suddenly New Den-O comes by and stops the Oni Hunters}

 **Kotaro:** **Hey, stop! He's not a bad Oni!**

 **Oni Hunter:** ... Okay.

{Then Decade}

 **Tsukasa:** **Let's go kill a random Oni instead.**

 **Oni Hunter:** Okay!

{So they go and pick a fight with a random Oni... only for said Oni to kick their ass.

 **Oni Hunter:** They're going to hurt that random kid over there!

{The hunter points to a kid. However, their leader jumps in and saves him, at the cost of scratching her arm}

 **Toki:** Oh noes, my good archery arm! Even though it's a tiny nick compared to an actual, game ending injury, I can't fire an arrow!

 **Yuusuke:** That sounds like my Ane-san! **HENSHIN!**

{Kuuga jumps in and punches the random Oni in the face}

 **Tsukasa:** **So we confirmed another Yashiro... That's good to know.**

{Suddenly Kaito, already transformed as Diend appears via dimensional wall}

**Kaito: Surprisingly, taking on an ogre, a K-Pop singer, and three wrestlers was very easy. **

{Momotaros runs in with a possessed Not-Ryotaro and transforming into Den-O Sword Form}

**Momotaros: Alright, the gang's all here! **

**Kuchihiko: You bastards... Who are you!? **

**Tsukasa: Just some passing through Kamen Riders... REMEMBER THAT! **

**Kotaro: Hang on! Let me switch out forms for merchandise!**

{Kotaro switches to Vega Form. The five riders rush to attack Goldara, only for him to knock them all back with a swipe of his staff}

 **Kuchihiko:** **You cannot expect to defeat me! Now watch as I summon my battleship!**

{Just as he is going to, he gets shot in the head and falls over. Everyone turns to see Natsumi holding a pistol}

 **Natsumi:** What? It's what I was taught.

**Tsukasa: So... now what?**

{Suddenly Battleship}

**Tsukasa: Right, forgot about that second Oni.**

**Sieg:** That's my cue!

{He enters Den-O and transforms into Super Climax Form}

**Momotaros: Well, this is awkward!**

**Kotaro: I get it now! Fly to the battleship and take out the pilot!**

**Tsukasa: Alright, let's do it! Yuusuke, let's go!**

** FINAL FORM RIDE: KU- KU- KU-KUUGA! **

**Yuusuke: Alright!**

{Yuusuke transforms into the Gouram as Tsukasa hops on and flies off. The others get on the Den-Liner save for Chou Den-O who flies and Diend who summoned Fourze and FFR'd him into rockets. They all headed towards the Battleship.}

* * *

{There, they bust in and surround Mimihiko.}

 **Mimihiko:** **Well... crap. I was expecting to take just _one_ of you guys on.**

**Momotaros: End of the line, punk!**

**Tsukasa: Everyone, let's Rider Kick him!**

**Kaito: Yeah about that. I don't _do_ Rider Kicks. And I doubt Kotaro does it either.**

**Tsukasa: Fine, we'll just... bum rush him. I guess.**

{And so they do, with Kaito firing at Silvara while Kotaro slashes at him with his naginata.}

 **Mimihiko:** **Blaaaarg! Curse you!**

{Tsukasa and Momotaros leap in the air and give him a Rider Double Kick, destroying him. That's when they realize...}

**Tsukasa: Wait, who's driving the ship?**

{They all look at the steering wheel, which Yuusuke tries to hold.}

 **Everyone:** **Aaaaaaaaa aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh Shi-**

* * *

{The ship crashes into the sea as the title card reads out:}

**Kamen Rider Decade:**

**Journey Through The Cancelled**

* * *

**Psyga:** ...

 **Random Casanova** **:** What the fuck?! What the actual fuck!?

 **Psyga:** ...

**Random Casanova: We lost our two most treasured cash cows! We're doomed! DOOOOOOMED!**

**Psyga:** ...

**Random Casanova: What are we going to do?! We can't be cancelled again!**

**Psyga:** ... I guess write out a story.

* * *

Yuu never understood his place in the world until he went back in time and fell in love with his ancestor. He had a heartfelt bond with her and was utterly crushed when she decided to stick to her time of war. However, he is told why: to preserve the family bond he and she will share. So he decides to go back to his own time and live in it, enjoying it to the best of his ability. He showed up the bullies and called himself Yuuto Sakurai.

Huh? What's that? Is that the sound of the universe ripping in two?

* * *

Empty space. That is what remains of this fanfic now that Tsukasa is dead and time paradoxes ensued.

There is nothing left.

Go home. It's all ogre... Wait... Ogre?

* * *

{le swamp}

 **Shrek:** That's right! Now that the oni are exterminated, the ogres will take over the world!

{Suddenly Natsumi bursts in}

 **Natsumi:** Not so fast, Shrek!

 **Shrek:** Oh noes! It's Natsumi!

 **Natsumi:** That's right! Let's go, Kivara!

 **Kivara:** Alright! HENSHIN!

 **Natsumi:** Henshin!

{They transform into Kamen Rider Kivara}

 **Shrek:** A female Kamen Rider? I don't believe my eyes!

**Natsumi: Yes, I'm a female Kamen Rider. BELIEVE IT!**

{She flies towards Shrek with her sword and Sonic Stabs the ogre}

 **Shrek:** Aaaaaaah! Ah've been defeated by a sudden yet inevitable change to the Kamen Rider status quo!

{Shrek explodes}

**Natsumi: I did it! I saved the world!**

{Suddenly Random Casanova comes in}

 **Random Casanova:** How would you like to be a part of a new Kamen Rider series where the main character's a female Rider?

**Natsumi: Gasp! YES!**

**Random Casanova:** Also, you don't have to come to those MacGuffin Girls Anonymous clubs anymore. Now you can join the Badass Kamen Rider Club.

**Natsumi: Oh my God, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YEEEEES! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! I knew that I could be a Rider! This is the happiest day of my life!**

{Soon, she gets swarmed by fans who lift her up and cheer her name}

 **Fangirls:** NATSUMI! NATSUMI! NATSUMI! NATSUMI!

* * *

 **Eijiro:** Natsumi! Natsumi! NATSUMI!

{Natsumi woke up in the Photo Studio with Eijiro looking at her}

 **Natsumi:** ... Don't tell me... that was all... a dream...

 **Eijiro:** _What_ was a dream?

 **Natsumi:** ...

* * *

{cut to the exterior of the Hikari Photo Studio as Eijiro laughs wildly. All while Natsumi is screaming out:}

 **Natsumi:** DAMN YOU PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

* * *

**Happy April Fools again!**


	18. Taking Credit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukasa's tour of the world can best be summed up like buying a new video game only to slowly find out that it was made by LJN. Oh, and don't worry, kids, Kaito's alive and Yuusuke does something.

**Tsukasa:** Well, time to forget all that experience at Den-O’s world with some good ol’ Worm extermination!

{He gets in a van and drives off. Meanwhile Natsumi grabs another Tsukasa}

 **Natsumi:** Come back inside so we can await our exposition for this world!

{As she takes him inside…}

 **Narutaki:** There’s only two worlds left… Decade has nearly destroyed the previous two worlds… I’m just gonna stand here and say that this will be the end for Decade! … Because, seriously, I _tried_ to intervene, but I wound up blowing up Den-O’s World… I don’t even know who I’m taking to. Screw this shi-

* * *

**KAMEN RIDER DECADE:**

**JOURNEY THROUGH THE ABRIDGED**

* * *

**Tsukasa:** Sweet! We already found a Worm! Let’s kill it and-

**ZECT Trooper: It’s already molting!**

**Tsukasa:** Well shi-

{He gets knocked around by a clocked up Worm… And he realizes that he is moving in Clock Up space}

 **Tsukasa:** Holy crap! I’m able to shift the density around me and be able to move in Clock Up! Am I a Roidmude?

{Suddenly TheBee and Gattack come by and kick the Worm’s ass with help from…}

 **Sou** : Kabuto! Damn it! Let’s go boys.

{All the Troopers leave, save for one}

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, care to dump exposition for the audience who didn’t bother to watch Kabuto?

 **Arata:** Um… Okay.

* * *

{le photo studio after Donald Duck time}

 **Arata:** Did that duck just explode?

 **Yuusuke:** Yes. It did. It always happens when we explain that we are from other worlds and that we’re trying to save them by travelling to them. Donald doesn’t take it well. We have enough to last us a year.

 **Arata:** Okay then… Well, in this world, we fight Worms that can mimic humans and-

 **Natsumi:** Ooooooh, so that’s why there’s two Tsukasas.

 **Arata:** WAIT WHAT!?

 **Tsukasa:** Relax! I got the DVD collection of Murmur Mansion. We’re gonna befriend the crap out of him.

 **Natsumi:** Oooor to save time…

{Thumbjabs both of them. The fake one leaves, laughing}

 **Yuusuke:** Awww man, the thumbjabs are getting more use than me…

* * *

{le park}

 **Tsukasa:** You know, it’s ten years too soon to imitate me. Wait until at least five years, then you can appear in a movie where we use flimsy excuses to beat each other up. You could use whatever the Rider in five year’s using.

 **Fake!Tsukasa:** I bet you can’t hit yourself!

 **Tsukasa:** …

{Tsukasa transforms into Decade beats the living crap out of him}

 **Tsukasa:** **STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!**

{Suddenly Kabuto comes and kills the worm}

 **Tsukasa:** **Cock blocker!**

{He demorphs}

 **Tsukasa:** I was really getting into it too.

 **Natsumi:** … Oh God, you’re a masochist, aren’t you? That explains why you can take my shi-

 **Tsukasa:** By the way, Kabuto’s our rider for this world.

 **Natsumi:** Oh, right. He was probably protecting that random girl over there.

 **Tsukasa:** I don’t think so.

 **Natsumi:** No, I definitely think so.

 **Tsukasa:** You just want to rip off Wizard and start stalking the girl because she has the plot hook for this world, right?

 **Natsumi:** Yeah.

 **Tsukasa:** Alright, fine.

* * *

{le oden shop}

 **Mayu:** We only serve oden.

 **Tsukasa:** Aaaaaaaaaand I’m out.

 **Grandma:** Damn it! The tv’s stuck on Super Sentai!

 **Natsumi:** Huh, strange minds think alike.

 **TV Reporter:** Random explosions happened everywhere. We think Kabuto did it even though he’s too fast to be even seen. More at 11.

 **Mayu:** That makes me super pissed for reasons I won’t explain until I get into a serious discussion about it.

 **Natsumi:** Aaaaaaaaand plot hook!

 **Grandma:** Now let me dispense quotes that will make me and my grandson memetic badasses. Because my husband was once Chuck Norri-

 **Tsukasa:** Thanks, but no thanks.

 **Grandma:** Well, I hope you enjoy your oden, because that’s all the food I can make. If you don’t like it, you can-

 **Tsukasa:** Shove a leek up your ass?

 **Grandma:** I was gonna say leave the shop. But yeah, that’d work.

 **Tsukasa:** And your name would be…

 **Grandma:** Yashiro Tendou.

 **Tsukasa:** Knew it.

 **Mayu:** Oh, hey, you have a camera. Cool! Can I be your model?

 **Tsukasa:** … On second thought, this world’s gonna be awesome.

* * *

{le photo studio. Ride the Wind plays as Tsukasa shoots pictures of Mayu posing in different costumes}

 **Natsumi:** Wait, why would this be when the ending theme plays? The hero’s not getting powered u- Oh son of a bitch!

 **Tsukasa:** Ah yeah! Just one more shot and then-

{Natsumi thumb jabs him and drags him away}

 **Natsumi:** What the hell?!

 **Tsukasa:** Whahahahaha-what do you _mean_ what the hell?

 **Natsumi:** You’re taking photos of an adolescent. Doesn’t that set off some trigger warnings?

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, relax. I’m only taking photos of her in silly costumes. Besides, I’m sure she’ll hate my photos when they’re done.

 **Mayu:** THEY’RE LOVELY!

 **Natsumi:** Wait, what?

 **Mayu:** This is true talent right here!

 **Tsukasa:** … Move over, Blade’s World, you just got replaced for the best world ever.

 **Natsumi:** Just because she likes your photos?

 **Tsukasa:** Yeah. She’s the _only_ one who likes my photos.

 **Natsumi:** Oh, screw it. I’ll go talk some sense into her.

* * *

{le bridge}

 **Natsumi:** So… Why the love for Tsukasa? I mean, he’s a total and utter dick.

 **Mayu:** I guess he just reminds me of my big brother.

 **Natsumi:** Well… that would make sense… Wait, what’s your brother like?

 **Mayu:** He’s brave and kind…

 **Natsumi:** Okay, stop the bus. There’s no way in hell that Tsukasa’s any of that-

 **Mayu:** And he listens to what I have to say.

 **Natsumi:** … Alright, you got me there.

 **Mayu:** But… he never told me of his work… All he just said was that he was protecting people… And then… And then…

 **Natsumi:** Kabuto killed him or something?

 **Mayu:** … That’s actually what happened, how did you know?

 **Natsumi:** Lucky guess. I mean, you’re tied to…

{She pauses and clears her throat}

 **Natsumi:** We saw Kabuto stalking you, so we had a feeling you and him had a connection.

 **Mayu:** Like a romance? No. I can’t forgive that… that… _monster_ for what he did to my brother!

* * *

{le ZECT}

 **ZECT Employee:** Hey, we have the Drake and Sasword Zecters, so shouldn’t we be using them to help us capture Kabuto or something?

 **Sou:** Shut up. Now, our plan to capture Kabuto with a small army of two Riders even though we should probably use more Riders to help us capture him shall involve a complicated system that will take thousands of dollars to make and will cripple our group more than cripple our target.

 **ZECT Employee:** You know, given how Worms can copy people’s appearances, shouldn’t we be worried that a Worm has infiltrated ZECT and is possibly influencing us to _make_ said crippling system so that it can be unopposed?

 **Sou:** You talk too much.

{Sou bitchsmacks the employee}

 **Sou:** Now come, random ZECT Employee, let me talk to you in something you already know about.

{He walks with the Employee}

 **Sou:** See, people are scared of Kabuto, who just happens to be stuck in Clock Up. _Our_ mission is to stop Kabuto being trapped in Clock Up.

 **ZECT Employee:** So you think this Kabuto is the devil that douche in the fisherman’s hat told us about?

 **Sou:** While I agree, shut up.

{He bitchsmacks him again}

 **Sou:** Kabuto _is_ the devil… I cannot forgive him for what he did to my eye.

 **ZECT Employee:** Well, you _did_ get that eye patch which makes you a total badass…

 **Sou:** …

 **ZECT Employee:** Aaaaaaaaah shi-

{Bitchsmacking intensifies}

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Yuusuke:** So… Tsukasa just up and left us to join the oden shop, right?

 **Natsumi:** Yeah… Though… I’m starting to think there’s more to it than Mayu’s attraction to him.

 **Yuusuke:** What do you mean?

 **Natsumi:** Mayu said he reminds her of an older brother… and Tsukasa likes and appreciates Mayu… Could it be possible that Tsukasa had a younger sister in his past life?

 **Yuusuke:** That’d… be an interesting piece of information. We might be able to find out who Tsukasa is!

 **Natsumi:** Wait, since when did _you_ care about Tsukasa recovering his memories?

 **Yuusuke:** Since never!

 **Natsumi:** Of course…

 **Yuusuke:** But in all seriousness, he _did_ tell me I was his friend.

* * *

{le oden shop}

 **Grandma:** What the bloody hell is this!?

 **Tsukasa:** Well, I decided to add some more food to the thing and-

{She pours the oden over the sink}

 **Tsukasa:** The hell!?

 **Grandma:** If you add ingredients, the soup will change! We built our reputation on having one flavour and so far it’s attracted more customers than ever! We remain here and so, this flavour shall remain! Now get out of my kitchen!

* * *

{le port}

 **Mayu:** Well, we only use the flavours that _we_ liked, so that’s why she got so pissy…

 **Tsukasa:** And you didn't tell me before becauuuuse...

 **Mayu:** My grandma thinks my brother’s alive.

 **Tsukasa:** Oh sure, dodge the question why don't yo- Wait, you have a bro- Wait, I overheard you and Natsumi a couple of scenes back, never mind.

 **Mayu:** Well, do you want to continue this boring conversation?

 **Tsukasa:** Nah, I’m gonna go kill that Worm over there.

 **Mayu:** Wait, what?

{She sees a Worm}

 **Mayu:** AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 **Tsukasa:** Alright! Let’s do this! Henshin!

** KAMEN RIDE: DECADE! **

{He transforms and fights the Worm who easily beats him in Clock Up}

**Tsukasa: Crap… I can’t fight in this state! Ooooh, if only I was a Roidmude!**

{Suddenly Yuusuke comes by}

 **Yuusuke:** **Tsukasa!**

**Tsukasa: Yuusuke?**

**Yuusuke:** **Don’t worry, I got this!**

{Yuusuke takes the Ridebooker from Tsukasa}

 **Yuusuke:** **CHOU HENSHIN!**

{Yuusuke transforms into Kuuga Pegasus. As he aimed his bowgun, yellow sparks appeared on his belt}

**Yuusuke: Huh?!**

{Thankfully, he let’s go and hits the Worm, destroying it. Suddenly ZECT}

**Sou: You two aren’t ZECT Riders!**

**Tsukasa: So what if we aren’t?**

**Sou: It doesn’t’ matter. I’ve seen you two take down that Worm.**

**Yuusuke: Well, I did all the work…**

**Sou: Shut up! I want you to help us take down a devil. His name is Kabuto.**

**Tsukasa: That thieving asshole! First my kill, _now_ my title?!**

**Arata: Wait, are you saying _you’re_ the devil?**

**Tsukasa: Yeah!**

**Yuusuke: Uh, Tsukasa, best not take the heat for someone els-**

**Arata: Let’s go, Sou!**

{Arata runs to hit Tsukasa as Yuusuke fights him off}

**Sou: No! Our enemy is Kabuto, damn it!**

**Tsukasa: Yuusuke, hold him off, I’ll use my newly obtained Den-O powers!**

** KAMEN RIDE:  DEN-O!  **

{He transforms into Den-O… then proceeds to throw out the joke pose cards}

**Tsukasa: Screw you, screw you, screw you, and most definitely screw _you._**

{Tsukasa rips up the cards in order of forms.}

**Tsukasa: Now that we got filler crap out of the way…**

{He slots in a card}

** KAMEN RIDE:  DEN-GASHER! **

{Tsukasa gets his Den-Gasher and rushes towards the Riders, only to have his feet shot at.

**Arata: What the!?**

{The riders look and see Kaito jump down.}

**Tsukasa: Kaito!**

**Kaito: Hello, devil. I don’t care for you right now, I just want that power they have. Care to join, Kuuga?**

{Yuusuke nods as Kaito and him fight off Gatack while Tsukasa handles TheBee}

 **Kaito:** **Now to test out my newly awakened power.**

{Kaito slots in a card}

**KAIJIN RIDE: GRYLLUS WORM!**

{It summons the Gryllus Worm who proceeds to mop the floor with Gatack}

 **Kaito:** **Hmph, as I figured. Kivara’s power has given me the strength I need.**

**Yuusuke: Kivara?**

{Yuusuke sees as Arata is overwhelmed by Gryllus, taking the belt and Zecter from him as he demorphs, defeated. Gryllus heads to Kaito to hand the device over when Yuusuke shoots at him.}

**Yuusuke: What’s the meaning of this?! What side’s Kivara on?**

**Kaito:** **Best you stay out of my way. I need that power.**

**Yuusuke: If this is like with Den-O, then I know you’re up to no good! Are you a good guy or a bad guy?**

**Kaito:** **I’m just the guy with the gun. Remember that.**

{He slots in two more cards}

**KAIJIN RIDE: N-DAGUVA-ZEBA! UTOPIA DOPANT!**

{Kaito summons two other monsters. Daguva simply lifted his hand and Kuuga is instantly lit on fire. Utopia then gives him a Rider Kick which knocked him out of his transformed state as he is still burning on fire. Yuusuke screams as stain glass briefly grew on Diend’s visor. He walked off with Gryllus, Zecter in the latter’s hands}

* * *

**Sou: I don’t want to fight you! I want you to hunt down Kabuto!**

**Tsukasa: Well, sucks to be you. I need to team up with him to save the world.**

**Sou: If you’re a friend to the devil, then you are an enemy to me!**

**Tsukasa: Well, then I guess it’s time to give the fans exactly what they’ve been waiting for since this show was ever announced!**

** FORM RIDE:  FAIZ! AXEL! **

**Tsukasa: Prepare yourself for the biggest nerdgasm of your life!**

** START UP! **

**CLOCK UP!**

{And they proceed to have one of the best fights in Kamen Rider Decade. There’s just one little, teeny problem…}

 **Mayu:** Help! I’ve become the damsel in distress!

{Like all fights, it’s interrupted}

**Tsukasa: Goddamn it…**

{He runs off}

**Sou: Hey! Finish this fight!**

{He shoots stingers at Tsukasa, while some hit him, some went for Mayu, which Kabuto knocked away}

**Tsukasa: GODDAMN KABUTO!**

{Kabuto kicks TheBee’s ass next}

**Sou: Crap! This would be a bad time for me to demorph and-**

**TheBee Zecter: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I WANNA BE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE BUT WHO TO CHOOSE, WOW MUCH CHOICES SO COOL!**

{And it just… flies off of his wrist and he demorphs}

 **Mayu:** Brother!?

 **Tsukasa:** …You know what? I take it all back. Credit stealing Kabuto, cockblocking Mayu, and now this. Seriously, this world can go fu-

{To Be Continued}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That little TheBee Zecter idea was based off Igadevil's interpretation of him.


End file.
